The Morals of Incest.

If two consenting adults engage in sexual activity should said sexual activity be, in any way, be regulated or controlled by the government?

If said consenting adults were brother and sister (brother and brother or sister and sister), should their relationship be regulated by the government?

That is the question that came into my head after I stumbled upon a video featured on the Huffington Post website about a German couple, brother and sister, who fell in love and have four children together. The brother is currently appealing his jail sentence for incest and his lawyer kept saying how he couldn't believe that in this day and age we were still having to fight over two consenting adults being allowed to engage in a sexual relationship.

This brought up so many other questions for me as well... Questions regarding sexual freedom, the meaning of consent, the choices we make, etc.

I read an article once, whether it was based on fact or fiction I don't know, about fraternal twin brothers who had fallen in love with each other. They had been trying to date other men and had been trying to stay away from each other because they believed what they were doing was wrong. But they couldn't stop being in love with each other. So they asked the question "What should we do?"

Is there morality in something like incest? Why do we even believe it is wrong? It can't be from the Bible, because many famous couples, including Abram and Sarai, were brother and sister. Incest was actually something to keep bloodlines "pure."

But then you have to ask yourself, where do we draw the lines for these things? Sexuality isn't finite. It is infinite in scope, desires, etc. Is it wrong for the government to control a couple who is in love, of age and consenting?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/12/patrick-stuebing-susan-karolewski-incest-germany_n_1420107.html

Aussie Pride

Also Jesus didn't say that... It was quoted from the Old Testament (Genesis 2:24; written by Moses) in the New Testament (Ephesians 5:31; written by Paul). Jesus, quite literally, said nothing against Homosexuality. If you are a pastor, mayhaps you should actually know what you are quoting?

Note to the Hypocritical.

I find it fascinating. Truly, I really do. Its amusing.

I always thought that the Bible said to:
* "Love your neighbor as yourself." (Matthew 22:39)
* "Obey your leaders and submit to their authority." (Hebrews 13:17)
* "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" (Matthew 7:3)
* "Love your enemies and pray for those that persecute you," (Matthew 5:20)

I find it interesting how few people actually follow those verses, while preaching them all the time. Its so convenient to preach, but so inconvenient to follow. If you are going to go so far as to call yourself something, perhaps you should actually read and follow what you claim to believe?

Things I've learned

My views, opinions and thoughts have changed a lot since I was young. Some of what I believe has changed drastically from even just five years ago. Along this crazy ride called life, I've learned a bunch of things. And I've changed. I feel like I've changed quite a bit. Let's have a look at what I've learned.

A prime example of these changes are my views and opinions on abortions, marriage equality and circumcision. If you had asked me five years ago I would've told you that abortion was a heinous thing and that it was used, primarily, as a birth control. I would've told you that I was still not sold on the idea of Marriage Equality. I would've said that circumcision was much healthier than being uncircumcised.

Those who know me, however, know that I am open to new ideas and thoughts. I am open to anything someone has to say (unless it is uselessly hateful). Which is how my opinions have come to shift. The other thing people should know is that I do my research. I'm not going to just flip-flop like certain Republican candidates (I'm looking at you Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum) because someone says I should. I'm going to look into it.

Which is why my opinions are subject to fluidity and change.

* Never accept something at face value. Something ugly can be beautiful on the inside. Sometimes you have to look past the exterior. Beauty isn't the only thing that is skin deep. Ugliness can be only skin deep.

* Always be open to listening to new music, ideas, opinions and absurdities. Even if you end up disliking it you've at least tried it. The same goes for experiences and foods. Try it before you say you don't like it.

* Sex isn't the be all, end all. It is wonderful, it is fun, it is enjoyable. Don't let it control you.

* Virginity isn't a bad thing.

* Abortions should be legal. We are not walking in each other's shoes and don't know what the other person is going through. We should not be allowed to control the life choices of another.

* We are not equal until ALL of us are equal. Equality for some isn't equality at all.

* Reading is more important than we let on. What we read in books is what we base our lives on. Christians base themselves on the Bible, the Muslims on the Qur'an, the Jews on the Torah. If we read only one thing, we aren't reading at all. We aren't allowing our minds to expand. We are restricting ourselves to one small box. Open up and expand your world.

* Circumcision is wrong; no matter if it is a boy or a girl. Why should we cut away healthy flesh from a being that has no voice in the operation? Aren't we supposed to be protectors of our children?

* The people who say spankings didn't damage them are lying. Spankings damaged us all. Some of us just show less damage than others.

* Stumble Upon is a magnificent way to learn AND waste time.

* Being beautiful is in the eye of the beholder. No matter what anyone says, you are beautiful. Never forget that.

* You aren't too damaged to be loved.

* Barack Obama rocks. :)

* Knowing your history doesn't mean it has to dictate your future.

* Never be afraid to stand up for yourself. Stand up, be heard, stop letting people trample on you. You are a human being, you deserve respect and love. No matter where you come from or who you are.

* Marijuana should be legalized and taxed.

* Rapists should get absolutely NO sympathy from anyone. They committed a horrific crime and no one deserves to be raped. We live in a rape culture and that is wrong.

* Gun control is a thing that needs to happen. No matter what. And I don't care if I'm disliked for that opinion. I've always believed in gun control. That is something that HASN'T changed.

* Being ashamed of yourself because of your past is ridiculous. You can't change the past, so if you didn't like it, change it for tomorrow!

The Cut

Recently I was linked to an article, posted on the website "Barrel of Oranges," about Rape. The title intrigued me, as I'm sure it would just about anyone (good on you, Barrel of Oranges!), because of the simplicity of it.

"Teaching my 2 year old how not to rape" is what it said. I was intrigued because of the idea behind it. The idea that we have to teach our children not to harm others. The idea that if we don't teach them not to harm, someone else will to teach them how to harm. The idea kind of blindsided me and I realized I had to read the article.

If you are interested in reading it for yourself here is the link:
http://barreloforanges.com/2013/03/24/teaching-my-2-year-old-how-not-to-rape/

Surprisingly, however, it wasn't her views on rape that astounded me. It was what I read about circumcision. She doesn't hide her opinion on the matter. Its right there in the first paragraph. It jolted me a bit, because I've never really thought about circumcision. At least, not as in depth as I did after reading a couple of her other posts on the topic.

I grew up in church. The majority of the people that know me (or have read a few of my rants) know this. I was taught that circumcision (of male genitalia) is required by God. I don't know why, actually. I never really understood why it mattered whether or not the foreskin was cut off of a man's junk. In fact, for the longest time I had NO idea what a foreskin even was. I had never seen an uncircumcised penis, actually. Not that I had seen very many penises at that time anyway.

But the Bible is FULL of verses on Circumcision and how men are to be circumcised. Even Abraham got circumcised at the ripe old age of ninety-nine (Genesis 17:24). What I do know is that God believed it was a valid part of a covenant between himself and Abraham (its been a while since I picked up my Bible). He even says so in Genesis. If you want specifics, chapter 17:10-11.

I've also always believed that circumcision was healthier for a man than remaining uncircumcised. Something that I discovered, upon researching, isn't entirely true. I thought that a man received more sexual pleasure if he was circumcised versus uncircumcised. However, circumcision comes down to aesthetics more than health and sexual pleasure. And, often times, it can be botched.

Now, if you had asked me about female circumcision I would've told you that it was genital mutilation. There is no aesthetic or enhanced sexual pleasure to female circumcision. It is purely to mutilate to the point that a woman no longer feels enjoyment or pleasure from sex, keeping her faithful to her husband. It is also so that a man remains "undisturbed" by the natural shape of a female sex, or her being "over-sexed." I remember being horrified as a kid reading an article on the topic by Waris Dirie, a Somalian actress and model, who had been "circumcised" at the tender age of five.

But the post by Barrel of Oranges made me think. It made me consider a few things.

Recently my god-daughter, who is 3, got a hold of a pair of scissors and cut off a decent portion of her hair (think Sinead O'Connor). Obviously, her mom was freaking out. This beautiful child, however, was not upset and told her mother that it was "perfect." I didn't "fight" with her mother, but I did tell her that if the child wants to cut off all her hair that is her right. It is HER body, not her mother's. She should be able to express herself however she wants. If she thinks she is beautiful, I want her to believe that. I want her to grow up believing that no matter what she is beautiful because she LOVES how she looks and fuck anyone who doesn't think so.

The belief that it is her body and that her mother shouldn't interfere is something I had never considered when it comes to circumcision.

The absence of a "no," doesn't automatically mean "yes."

Why would I cut off healthy, living, tissue from my son's penis just because I think circumcised is more attractive? He has no way of agreeing to this and I am doing irreparable damage to his body. Circumcision is permanent. I can't go back later and let him undo it. There is NO going back from that. And I would want my child to decide what they want. Not what I want.

My husband is circumcised. And yes, I prefer the look compared to uncircumcised. After reading up on it, doing some research and thinking very carefully about body rights, I have decided that if I ever had a son, I would never circumcise him. I would let him decide when he was old enough to understand what he was doing.

I had the audacity to ask an adult male (that I had a crush on) if he was "cut" or "uncut." I remember his being appalled at the idea of being "uncut." As if that was a disgusting thing. Why is a piece of flesh disgusting?

We can argue aesthetics all day long. I don't find penises particularly attractive to begin with, so it would be easy for me to say I prefer my husband's. It would be easy to say that the only other penis I have ever found attractive was Yul Brynner's and he was uncircumcised. Either can be beautiful. Either can be perfect. It is a matter of opinion.

What isn't up for debate, at least where I am concerned, is the ethics of it. Is it ethical to remove healthy tissue from a healthy penis without the consent of the patient? No matter how young? Is it ethical to alter someone else's body without their permission, just because they won't "remember" or because we find it more "aesthetically pleasing?" I don't think it is.

Let my child remain uncut. Let them decide when they are old enough to understand it. Let them decide what to do with their body. They only receive one in this lifetime and who am I to tell them what to do with it?

My question for my male friends/readers is this:
* What are your thoughts?
* Are you circumcised? Uncircumcised?
* If you are circumcised, do you wish you hadn't been? Are you comfortable as you are?
* If you are uncircumcised, do you wish you had been? Do you prefer being "uncut?"

Never Ceasing.

Human stupidity and arrogance never ceases to amaze (and annoy) me.

We are all human. Therefore, when we say "We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal..." shouldn't that mean EVERYONE? Since, "all men" is the equivalent of "mankind" which means EVERYONE.

Am I the only one who thinks that makes sense? Am I the only one who thinks about how we escaped from England because there was no separation of church and state? How often Religion blinds us, because we never follow it the way it is supposed to be followed?

I'm sorry, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe when Jesus said to "love thy neighbor as thyself" he was talking about killing people for being different and denying them the right to marry and denying them food and healthcare. I'm sorry, I missed that part of that verse.

I must've misinterpreted the portions where Jesus spoke of feeding the hungry and clothing the naked. And treating "the least of these." I thought Jesus fed people, with no payment. I thought Jesus healed people, without payment.

I thought God was supposed to be loving. Did I miss something? Are we living in an Old Testament scenario? God in the Old Testament; Jealous, cruel, homophobic, racist (Racism is funny coming from God, because God is the one who created us...), etc. Do we really want to worship someone who orders small children and women to be enslaved or murdered?

I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be offensive, but it irritates me.

And I keep hearing Simon and Garfunkel in my head singing about Freedom Riders, and thinking about Civil Rights and how we just keep killing because we don't know how to love and we don't know how to accept.

I keep hearing my marriage vows and wondering why some are denied the right while others abuse it.

The Golden Man.

Dear ____,

I keep telling myself that I will stop missing you, stop writing you. I tell myself that I never really loved you and you never really loved me. It doesn't make anything hurt less, it doesn't change how I feel. No matter what I do, I keep thinking about you. I miss you. I wish things had been different.

I was seventeen. I had just gotten out of a bad relationship. I had finally broken up with the Edward in my life. My home life was deteriorating. I was losing faith in God, in religion, in love. I was wilting, like a forgotten flower in a too sunny window.

And you came in to my picture. You came into the darkness and pulled me out. Or so I thought.

I had a crush on you. You were so smart, strong and funny. You were sweet and wonderful, it was easy to fall for you. I didn't even have to try. But you had a wife and I valued our friendship too much to say anything. Not that you couldn't see it written all over my face. I can say I never tried to take you from her. I am still her friend, though I still feel the shame bubbling up in my cheeks sometimes when I talk to her.

I worshiped you. I adored you. I loved you. I wrote so many poems in your honour, though I have often said I would not waste another verse on you. I say I will not waste another tear in your name.

I keep thinking back to when I told you that I had a crush on you. You said you had already known. I blushed because I couldn't believe I had been so obvious.

I told you that I wanted to have sex. You said you would ruin me for other men. I told you I wanted to be ruined. Sometimes when I think about that I know you ruined me anyway.

I can still feel your fingers tracing the soft part of my neck up to my ear and back down as I was trying to write that mythology I was creating. I had dedicated a character to you. The most beloved man created by the Gods and Goddesses of my world. I called you Zimri. How fitting that, in the Bible, Zimri is a traitor and the name itself means "my song" (Or mountain sheep, but that fits less perfectly.)

I remember how strongly I wanted to kiss you. I remember making you blush, twice, and marveling at my ability. I remember how badly I wanted you, while feeling the guilt creeping around the edges. Your wife. Your son and your daughter. Your life that I was so desperately wanting to be a part of.

I was seventeen, though, ____! You should've resisted me, should've told me no. Told me that it was inappropriate. Why didn't you? Was I Lolita, seducing you away from God and family?

I blame myself for inviting you to the prom. I blame myself for asking you to go with me. I wish I'd never gone. I wish I'd never said anything. But I wanted that experience. I wanted to experience prom, to experience a dance. It was my first dance and I was so excited to be dancing with you. I remember all the moves we created for "Beep" by the Pussycat Dolls. Sometimes, when I'm reminiscing, I play it. I dance and I think about you.

Sometimes I look at the pictures from that night. The night we stopped being friends. The night we became something more than friends, but less than lovers.

I abandoned you when you said you were leaving her. When you said you no longer believed in God. I was afraid, more than anything. And I was angry. I don't even know why I was so angry. I know I felt ashamed and betrayed for everything that happened between us. But that wasn't the reason I stopped talking to you. You had left me, now you were abandoning God and family. The whole time that I knew it could never be, even when I was hoping it would be, I prayed you would stay married. I prayed you would stay with your wife. I prayed I would forget you.

My prayers were for nothing. I still lost you.

The wound still aches every now and then. It still throbs. I still dream about you. I still miss you. I still love you. The truth of the matter is that I always will.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I had to remove you from my life. I wish I hadn't, now. But where would we be? You wouldn't have come back to me. You wouldn't have fulfilled my dream. You couldn't. We couldn't

Some days, I admit, I still want you. I am comfortable admitting that. I wouldn't do anything now, because I am happily married, but I still wonder.

I think my problem is that I wonder if you still think about me. I just want to know that you miss me too. And I don't know why I want to know that. Do you ever think about me? Do you ever miss me? Do you ever want me still? I wish you would message me. Just once, let me know that you still love me like you said you always would. Even though we still can't be. Even though I shouldn't let you back in.

Darling, I miss you, but this is another in a series of confessions I've written on my way to letting you go. I won't e-mail you. I won't message you on Facebook. I won't try, though I want to sometimes. I will eventually come to terms with this.

In the meantime, I hope you are doing well. I hope you are happy and healthy. I hope all sorts of beautiful hopes for you.

Love,
Sarai

A Church for Saints.

The other night I went to church with one of my girlfriends. This particular friend is a very devout Christian, which I respect, and I have been with her to her church numerous times. I think she is hoping that one of these times I'll receive the Holy Ghost and be saved from myself. Which I also admire. It means she hasn't given up on me. But she also knows me very well and knows that my distance with God has been because of church, not a lack thereof.

I've known this particular friend for almost ten years. We met when I was fourteen and a freshman in high school. At first we didn't really like each other. I thought she was mean. Now I know that she was just teasing to be silly, not mean.

Because I've known her so long I've obviously been to church with her NUMEROUS times. As in, I've been going to this church off and on for almost ten years now.

So it bothers me whenever I go there and almost no one recognizes me. People ask if it's my first time. Or they assume it's my first time, which is even worse! The other thing is that people assume that I've never been to church ever. Which annoys the shit out of me.

See, I grew up in church. I attended church from a very, very, young age right up until I moved to OK when I was nineteen. Was my attendance stellar? No. But I was still a fairly active member in a church up until that point. I've read the Bible numerous times. I used to have huge sections memorized. I still have verses memorized.

Go ahead, ask me what Matthew 4:4 says. Go ahead. ("Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.")

Ask me about "Patience is a virtue" (which isn't actually in the Bible) or "The Lord helps those that help themselves."(That is actually from a myth. "The Gods help those that help themselves" is something that is told to Hercules during his twelve labors.) I dare you. It'll be fun!

In all seriousness though, it kind of bothers me after a bit that people are so willing to assume that I'm an idiot. I hate being underestimated. I should take it as a compliment, but it annoys me.

It especially annoys me when people who've only been in church for a few weeks talk to me like I've never read a word of the Bible. They start preaching at me and I hate it! I've been in church longer than you, I've read the Bible all the way through several times. I know my way around the Holy Scriptures and I know what I'm talking about. You've only been in church for a short time and you want to preach at ME? Really?

I'm saying all this because I'm proud of what I know. I honestly don't care if people are impressed or not. I no longer care about knowing that stuff. I know what I know, that's it. I just don't want someone coming up to me and acting like they know everything when they clearly don't.

The other thing I don't like about church (particularly my friend's church) is the looks I receive. I have rather large breasts, I can't help that. And almost everything I wear accents them, much to my chagrin. Don't look at me like I'm a whore because you can see some cleavage. I'm not a whore. I don't need saving. Thanks, keep walking.

I don't know. Sometimes it is like you have to already be a venerated Saint to be accepted in a church. Isn't the point of church and coming to God being who you are? A sinner, a wastrel? Aren't you supposed to be imperfect coming before Perfection? Isn't God's love supposed to make you pure?

What about that verse: "Judge not, lest ye be judged."? Since when are we supposed to ignore that?

Of course, we ignore most of what the Bible says anyway. We read in-between the lines looking for a meaning that suits us. We pick and choose verses to live by because they are convenient, not because God actually tells us to.

It bothers me! That's one of the reasons I don't go to church anymore. I got tired of the hypocrisy. The biggest being committed by my ex-step-father.

My sister doesn't know what Sodom and Gomorrah is. She doesn't believe that's in the Bible. Because her father doesn't even pay attention to her. That's sad. The man who forced religion down our throats when he was with us has completely neglected his OWN FLESH AND BLOOD'S religious training. Ridiculous really.

It's people that have ruined Christianity for me. It's God that has ruined God for me. And maybe, as the teacher was saying last night in Bible class, I am treating God like a harlot by running from him and coming back only when I need him. I don't really come back, though. My life has not changed since I stopped believing in Him. I'm just as miserable, just as unlucky, just as downtrodden.

Don't tell me "Rain falls on the just and unjust alike." I've had it up to HERE with that verse. Don't tell me that I am being refined by the Refiner's fire.

I am a human being who suffers, like every other human being. And my belief in God, or disbelief as the case may or may not be, hasn't changed that.

A Few Verses to Ponder

Some of you may be wondering why I am about to post "verses to ponder" and what that means. Do I mean song verses? Bible verses? Or did I misspell "versus" and I'm about to blog about him versus her type stuff?

I mean Bible verses. I've had it up to here with people who claim to know the Bible and don't. I'm tired of people picking and choosing which verses they should follow because they are willfully blind to others. So, here are my arguments for my views, as "proven" by the holy scriptures.

"Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you." - Hebrews 13:17

This is to mean that no matter what we are to OBEY those above us. That means presidents, spiritual leaders, anyone who is in charge over us.

"But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;" - Matthew 5:44

We are to love each other. No matter what they have done to us. And they are to do the same, no matter what we have done to them. It is one of the hardest things we are told to do as Christians.

"Whoever hates his brother is a murderer: and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him." - I John 3:15

Hate is not what Jesus wants us to do. I say Jesus, because God hates everyone in the Old Testament. Don't believe me? Go ahead, go read it for yourself. You will be surprised.

"If anyone says, I love God, but hates the brothers or sisters, he is a liar...Whoever loves God must also love the brothers and sisters." - I John 3:20, 21

You CANNOT say that you hate someone and Love God. It doesn't work that way, as we are charged to love one another as we love ourselves.

"These things I command you, that ye love one another." - John 15:17

See! What did I just say about loving one another?

"There is one Lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy. Who are you to judge another?" - James 4:12

We are not to judge someone for their actions. We are to examine our own actions before even beginning to look at someone else's. Examine the log in your own eye before bitching about the speck in your brother's.

"Honour all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the king." - 1 Peter 2:17

Honouring someone is showing respect. We are to respect ALL men. Not those we like or those we know. We are to show respect and love to ALL. Oh and that last part? We are to show respect to those in authority. AKA: The president, the pastor, the teacher, etc.

"Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake: whether it be to the king, as supreme; Or unto governors, as unto them that are sent by him for the punishment of evildoers, and for the praise of them that do well." - 1 Peter 2:13-14

We are to submit to the laws. We are to obey those in authority. You know what that means? Not going out of your way to curse a president or anyone else just because you don't agree with them. They are who God has allowed to be in authority and you are to SUBMIT.

I hate fighting with people, but I am tired of people being two-faced. If you are a Christian, you are to follow the WORD OF GOD. And last I checked, those were the words of God.

Oh also, here are a few words from the Qur'an. Don't they seem familiar?

"O mankind! Allah created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know each other (not that you despise each other). Verily the most honored of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And Allah has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things)." (The Nobel Qur'an 49:13)

“If thou dost stretch thy hand against me, to slay me, it is not for me to stretch my hand against thee to slay thee: for I do fear God, the cherisher of the worlds. (The Noble Qur'an, 5:28)"

"when the angels said, "O Mary, indeed Allah gives you good tidings of a word from Him, whose name will be the Messiah, Jesus, the son of Mary - distinguished in this world and the Hereafter and among those brought near" 'Āli `Imrān 3:45

An Experiment

In her song, "Xizi She Knows," Imogen Heap says something that resonates with me every time.

You're pretty damn good as you are.
That is something that seems to get lost in the shuffle of things sometimes. Like romantic relationships or friendships. We are never made to believe that we are "damn good" as we are. We are, in fact, made to believe that we aren't good enough. Ever. Because we aren't beautiful. Because we aren't smart enough. Because we aren't what someone wants.

Xizi, she knows, that once its gone, then its gone.
I think that is a metaphor for being damn good as you are. Once you change for someone else and you completely lose yourself, its gone. You may get back some modicum of what you were, but you'll never be fully YOU again. You've lost it. You've let it go.

You may be wondering what this has to do with the title of this blog, but bear with me a moment.

I talked about being hit on, in my last blog. About not being hit on because I'm intelligent or well-read (which, as Donnie pointed out, is never the reason anyone is hit on), but because I have rather large breasts and a so-so face (at least, in my opinion). About how it must be freeing to be completely covered, so that someone has no choice but to get to know you for who you are, instead of how you look.

Can you imagine, for a moment, what it would be like for no one to think your hair is a mess or your make-up is wrong? Or that you aren't wearing the latest styles, your butt is too big or too flat? Can imagine how nice that would be? Not to feel the pressure to please with skin and fashion?

I was talking to Donnie about it and he suggested I try it. Though, he did say he thinks I'll get ignored more than anything.

He suggested I try being covered and then write about the experience. And I think I'm going to do it. It falls into my desire to experiment with different religions as well. I am both excited and trepidatious.

Pros:
1. I'll get to experience a culture other than my own. One that I actually know a fair bit about.

2. I can write about the experiences, because I'll have a rather constant inspiration.

3. My husband supports me in whatever I choose to do.

Cons:
1. The last time I dressed as an Islamic woman (back when I was in high school) I brought the Klan out of hiding.

2. This experiment may have serious ramifications regarding my job, my social life and my family life.

3. I am really shy, so I may very well not gain anything from this experiment except heartache from all the ignorance and stupidity around me.

'Tis better to try and to fail, than to never try at all. How will I know what happens until I try it? Well, I can't. I can't know what will happen or who I will meet unless I try it.

This experiment will take preparation. Partially because I do not currently own a burqa, niqab, hijab or any other such covering. Partially because I need to define the boundaries for myself and a time frame. This experiment is going to take longer than a week or two. And partially, because this is going to take my full concentration and desire. I can't go into this experiment half-heartedly. I have to be fully behind it and fully invested before it will work.

In the meantime, I think I should do some more research into Islam. I need to re-read the Qur'an. I need to slowly wean myself away from Alcohol... Unfortunately. I need to re-read the Bible. If you are wondering about that please refer to my blog "The Christianity/Islam Dichotomy" (which you can find at the following link: http://saraicrazyblog.blogspot.com/2011/12/christianityislam-dichotomy.html). And I need to re-affirm who I am.

I am still searching for who I am, in the midst of all the insanity that is called Life. I am still young, so I have time to figure it out. Maybe this will change me. Maybe this experience will change who and what I am. Maybe it won't. I guess I won't find out until I do it.

I feel like I'm rambling a little so I will stop for now. Expect updates sometime in the near (or far) future.

The Next Time...

Someone makes a comment about Homosexuality being a sin because of the Bible, I'm going to point out all the verses talking about how unclean Dogs are and basically saying we shouldn't associate with them.

Example Given: "Outside are the dogs and sorcerers and the sexually immoral and murderers and idolaters, and everyone who loves and practices falsehood." - Revelation 22:15

Scratch that. Next time anyone says ANYTHING about ANYTHING being a sin in the Bible (or they preach it and don't follow it) I'm going to point out verses proving they are in sin too.

The Right to Freedom

Right now there are men fighting over who should have to provide birth control, over birth control being taken away, over sex being diminished to simple procreation. Men are fighting over whether women should be able to have an abortion or use birth control. MEN. Not WOMEN.

Woman was created from Man's rib, says the Bible. This is to mean that woman is to be at man's side, not in front or behind him. Equal with him. Man may have been created first, but what is Man without Woman?

Is it a man who suffers through Menstruation? Is it a man who suffers through pregnancy and child-birth? Is it a man who can suffer from cysts on the ovaries, the cervix or the uterus? Or endometriosis? Is it a man who is being denied the ability to decide?

No. It is women. It is women who need birth control to help with the horrific, searing, pain of cysts on various internal organs. It is women who need birth control to help control cramping and blood loss. It is women who need birth control to prevent pregnancy. And it is women who should decide.

This is what the women before us fought for. The freedom to decide. To vote, to choose. To be equal citizens.

And we still aren't EQUAL. We still make less money than a man in the same position. We still have to beg and plead and fight to have our medicines provided by insurance and companies that don't want to give it. We are STILL fighting what should've ended a long time ago.

Obama 2012

Reasons why I am going to vote for Obama again:

1. Romney doesn't care about the poor. He then rephrases and says that we have a safety net. Excuse me, I'm ridiculously poor. I live hand to mouth most of the time. Where is my safety net? I don't qualify for most help because I am not pregnant or disabled. Where is my net?

2. Gingrich wants to colonize on the moon. We have enough problems here on Earth. The Moon belongs to God/Allah/Buddha/Whomever, not America. Not any country. We have no right to go and destroy it with our stupidity. Also, there are thousands of starving people in America that we could feed with the amount of money it would take to colonize the moon.

3. Santorum believes that sex is solely for procreation, nothing else. He believes that higher education challenges faith. He believes that Church and State should not be separate. He says that his wife had a life-saving "induced miscarriage" which is ABORTION and then says that women don't have that right, even if it could save their lives. Even though she had one to save hers. I could go on, but really, Santorum?

4. Obama has at least attempted to do what he said he would. Its not his fault that Congress has all the power (which it does, because that is what the Founding Fathers wanted) and they aren't into sharing.

5. All these people who say that we are intelligent and then say that Obama hasn't shown his birth certificate. You just called us idiots, because clearly there is NO process or anything. Come on, people use the brain that God/Allah/Buddha/Whomever gave you!

6. Because who cares if he is Muslim or not? Where in the constitution does it say he has to be a God-fearing Christian? Last I checked, it said nothing about that. And as far as that goes Thomas Jefferson was an Atheist. I don't hear anyone complaining about that.

7. I care about my rights as a woman. I'd like to get equal pay for equal work. I'd like to have access to Birth Control. I'd like to have the option to abort, if I have to.

8. Because I can't look at my friends and my family that are Homosexual and say "I'm sorry, but you don't deserve to be married, just because you are Homosexual. You don't deserve that happiness, even though you are another human being who wants Life, Love and the Pursuit of Happiness."

9. Because I am realistic to know that this country has been going down for much longer than he has been in the Oval Office and it will take longer than you and I will live to see it get better. We can't, realistically, expect him to undo 20 years of crap in four years. That's just not possible. For anyone.

10. Because I still believe in the Change. And I still believe he is a good man for the job.

Disagree if you like, say that I'm wrong. But if you really dig deep, really do your research and check your sources you'll see that I'm not that far off. I will admit to not being right all the time. I'm human and I make mistakes. Oh yeah, and Barack Obama is human too.

Sarai for Obama 2012.

Love

I keep coming back to this one topic:

Love.
And the reason I keep coming back to it is because of how crazy it is. How crazy we are. How insane everything can be when Love is involved. And no, I'm not just writing this because I'm watching a Korean drama involving a complicated love. Though, it does help.

Once again, I'm going back to Homosexuality. Bisexuality. Transgendered. I'm going back to all the needless hate and stupidity and ignorance. I'm going back, because I just don't understand.

I, literally, cannot comprehend these prejudices. These hatreds.

I was raised a Christian. I believed that homosexuality, bisexuality, transgender were wrong. I believed for a long time that a man should not marry a man. A woman should not marry a woman. I believed that God created man and woman to be together and anything else is an abomination.

But when I was a child I also hid sexual feelings for other women. I was uncomfortable in my own skin and even seriously considered becoming a man, because I was not feminine. Newsflash, I'll never be "feminine."

The terrible thing is, when you are experiencing those feelings, you feel like you are letting God down. You feel like you are a monster because you feel a surge of attraction to someone of the same sex. Or when you imagine what it would be like to be a man and you are a woman. You imagine having sex with a woman, as a man, because then it wouldn't be wrong, right? Except it would because you were originally a woman and you changed what God intended.

Except we are all created in God's image. God doesn't make mistakes. Right?

But I'm in sin. I have sinned. Sinning is completely different. An all powerful, all knowing, God has no power over the choices you make. Except, doesn't he know everything before you do it? Why wouldn't he step in?

It was explained to me once, by my ex-step-father, that God is a "gentleman." He allows us to make our own decisions and what not, but doesn't meddle. Which is stupid. He is God. He interfered in human's lives from the very beginning. He destroyed the world with a flood because of the "sins" of the people. He demolished Sodom and Gomorrah because of their sin. Through out the Bible he is meddling.

But then you get into the downward spiral of "free will" and whether or not we have it.

I believe, if we are created in the image of God and God makes no mistakes, we are the way he created us. Which leads to a few messed up avenues, which we won't delve into tonight.

I was raised that we are to love the sinner and hate the sin.

I was raised in a family whose Homosexuality to Heterosexuality ratio was 1 in 3. I have two Uncles who are (were, as one of them has sadly passed on) homosexual and two Aunts that are (were, as one of them has also passed on) lesbians. I am bisexual, my brother is bisexual.

I was raised confused.

An all loving, all knowing, God hates. These feelings I am experiencing are wrong. They are a sin. I am doing everything wrong. I'm not being the obedient, submissive woman I should be. I am too opinionated. Too well-read. Too stubborn. I am trying to be in love with a God that hates me. Or does he distinguish between sin and sinner?

You can blame my feelings on being molested many times as a child/young adult. You can blame my feelings on sin. You can blame it on my discovery of pornography (of the Lesbian variety) as a young woman. You can blame it on what you want or do not.

But it doesn't change that I am who I am. I love who I love.

I have had sex with a woman and I enjoyed it. The feelings were pure. The desire to be together, physically, with someone that you are attracted to is perfectly normal. Unless its towards the same sex, in which case it is a hideous thing. It can't be love. It can't be anything but disgusting. Love isn't love if it is for someone of the same sex.

What God damns a heart?

What if, and bear with me here (Donnie, you aren't allowed to comment, because I already know your opinion on it). What if, the roles were reversed? What if it was heterosexuals who were the weird ones? What if being straight was abnormal? Would we still feel the same way? Would we still say that homosexuals don't deserve the same rights? Would it be different if it was the other way around?

I think I might write a story about that. About the possibilities of that kind of society. It isn't that strange. The Amazons were said to only be with a man to procreate and then they killed him. It was considered weak to be with a man. It was considered a betrayal. How different that must be.

Of course, in today's world the Amazons wouldn't have to even associate with a man. In today's world we don't even have to have sex to have a child. One can be created for us. One could be created with just a little sperm and a viable egg. No penis has to enter a vagina. No sexual intercourse has to be utilized to reproduce now.

Maybe I am rambling now. I just have so many thoughts running around in this head of mine that sometimes I lose track of where I was going with what.

All I know is that I don't understand it. If you wanted to get married and the law wouldn't let you, would you let that stand in your way? No. You would fight for it. If you desperately loved that person you would fight until your dying breath.

Don't people like my Aunt and her partner deserve to have a LEGAL marriage? They've been together longer than I've been alive. If anyone deserves to get married its her. Don't they deserve the same rights allotted to every other married couple? Its not like a piece of fucking paper is going to change their feelings for one another. But shouldn't they have the choice?

Divorce is high already. Without legal marriage for homosexuals. But Homosexuality is what is ruining the country. Ruining the world.

It doesn't matter that children in these households consistently do better in school. It doesn't matter that people like Pat Robertson are what is destroying this country. No. What matters is that some man is fucking another man. Heaven forbid they be in love with one another. Willingly giving themselves to each other and deeply in love.

Heaven forbid we love our neighbors as ourselves. That we give them the same basic rights as we would want to have. Because you know, that is just too damn easy to do. Its too easy to admit that its wrong to prevent a human being from having the rights that you want for yourself. Its too easy to admit, which is why we don't.

We refuse our brothers and sisters, our fathers and mothers, our sons and daughters, aunts and uncles, the basic human right to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness because they happen to want someone of the same sex. We refuse for the same reasons we refused (and still do in some places) interracial marriage. Because it offends the senses of some hoity toity bitch or dick.

And we'll continue to hide behind false religion until we are eventually killed by it or true revolution is attained.

Video Games anyone?

Yep, I've been distracted by Dragon Age II... My bad! Oh well, I hadn't been playing video games for a while there. I think it is okay to take a little break and actually enjoy myself... Maybe?

My head hurts, my stomach hurts. My whole body aches. And I have two more days of work to look forward to.

Have been looking into buying a house. Yes, friends, a house. With a mortgage and a yard. A little house or a duplex. Haven't decided yet. But we are looking into it. May have found one that we could live with/in. Still hoping to move to Sweden, though we are hoping to go ahead and get a house now and then save (in-between mortgage payments) for a place overseas. The sad thing is, it will be cheaper paying on a mortgage than it will be to keep renting. *shrug*

Is it wrong that I want to start writing little bits of fan-fiction again? Donnie says I'm a dork and that fan-fiction is objectively bad, no matter how well you write it. But I still kind of want to write it again. Especially since I'm playing video games lately.

A BioShock fan-fiction or Dragon Age (II)... Or maybe I'll just stick with silly J-Rock/K-Pop fairy tales... I don't know. Maybe I won't do it at all, but its something I feel the urge to do. Maybe I should do it for the sake of just writing...

I am hoping to apply for college next month *fingers crossed*

The plan is, currently, to double major in Linguistics and English Literature. With the hope that one day (when I have a degree) I can translate works of fiction and non-fiction into various languages so that everyone can enjoy the beauty of literature and reading. That's my dream anyway. I don't know how it will be trying to double major. That is going to suck, mightily. But I am determined! I don't want to be a demo lady at Sam's Club forever!

Plus, this would enable me to continue to write AND read! Maybe I will make it through that massive book list I have going?

I should really go and do laundry now, though I am not looking forward to it. I desperately miss having a washer and dryer!! I never knew how inconvenient it was to have to go out to do your laundry! How can people stand it? I certainly can't!

Have been having interesting conversations about religion with one of my co-workers who is Muslim. I don't know what to think about that either. I think he just wants me to believe in something, versus believing in nothing. But it is hard to explain to him that for years I have felt utterly abandoned by God (the gods/goddesses) and that my life hasn't changed from when I followed Him (or her) with utter abandon. My mother says that God is proofing me for the years to come. That I am being tested so that I can help others through the same things.

I think that is bullshit (Sorry, Mom). I really do. Do I have to go through every horrible thing to be able to sympathize with others? That seems stupid to me. I'm obviously not going to go through everything there is to go through and there are always going to be people who are going through something different from me. I can be sympathetic and there for someone without having to go through it myself!

Granted, the list of tragedies and atrocities is long in my short life. But I seriously doubt that whomever exists out there is keeping track just so I can "minister" to someone later.

I also hate the holidays. They are never very happy for me. And I wish we could skip over them. I do appreciate the break from work, however, so I suppose that is something.

I am rambling, skipping from topic to topic... Oh well. You guys love me anyway right?

Enough randomness for now,
love,
Sarai

The Christianity/Islam Dichotomy.

I had an interesting conversation with a co-worker today. A co-worker I admire, I might add. Our conversation involved religion. Always a testy conversation to have, even with close friends and family members.

But today I saw the beauty of someone who actually follows their religion and embraces others of differing faiths. As well as this astounding revelation:

Islam and Christianity are the same religion.
Well, two of sides of the same coin, anyway. The differences are few, actually. Having read the Qur'an and the Bible, I can assure you that the differences are few. Both have violence. Both have verses implying that women are not equal to men. Both have love and patience and rules. Both encourage the following of the One True God.

God is Allah. Allah is God. I even had a Muslim (said co-worker) tell me that Christians are believers, because they follow the one true God. They just have a different prophet of God. I had a friend in high school who was Muslim and she said the same thing to me once.

Jesus is a prophet of God. A servant and great man. I remember how I was stunned by her belief that Jesus and Mohammed were both great prophets of God/Allah.

"Christians," she said, were to be respected. "They came from Abraham's other son Isaac. We come from Ishmael." We are all children of Abraham. All children of God. All sons and daughters of Allah. The Bible is also a holy book, one to be respected and treated as the Qur'an. They are to be held to one's heart, never one's side. Never to touch the floor or to be set in a place below one's waist.

So when the ignorant tell me that Islam restrains women, forces them to be subservient, I point out verses from the Bible where they do the same thing. When they talk of bombings and ji-had, I point out the Christians bombing abortion clinics. I point out all the times we have murdered and butchered in the name of God. Every religion has their radicals (excepting Buddhism, but that is because its is based on peace and acceptance).

I would also like to point out that I have never been disrespected by a Muslim man. In fact, I have only ever been treated with respect and kindness, where as I've been called a whore and practically spat upon by a Christian man. That the Muslim women I've met are proud to wear the burqa, the naqib, the hijab, etc. They truly believe in their religion and being modest, keeping themselves pure and set apart for Allah and their husband. Which is what we, as Christians, are supposed to be doing. Do we do this? Nope.

Of course, as you will in any situation, there are rebellious people. People who lose their faith and change their minds. People who no longer fit into the mold of the religion they "belong" to. Does this apply to every religion? YES!

Are there Muslims who will disagree with everything I just said? Absolutely.

Are there Christians who will disagree with everything I just said? I would be disappointed if they didn't.

To quote myself (from a post on my facebook):
"We preach Islam as being intolerant, but really we need to take a look in the mirror. When a Muslim man tells me that, as a Christian, I am a follower of the one true God and I am to be blessed, I know that everyone else is just being intolerant."

And in my mind, that is all there is to be said.

Music, The Bread of Life

I am on a massive music kick right now, just going through my favorites on an old YouTube channel and going "Damn, why haven't I listened to that recently?" or "Holy Shiznit! I forgot all about that song!" It makes me want to post a shit ton of songs for no real reason!!

However, I'll settle for posting them everyday (or as I can, whatever works right?). The videos may not be so good, but its the song that matters, not the video. Am I right? And maybe this will help kick start my writing? Possibly?

Maybe not, but we'll give it a go. Aside from driving Donnie crazy, it makes me happy. ^_^

On to today's song!! There were so many to choose from, but I settled for "Dear God," by XTC. XTC is a British New-Wave band active from the 70's up until 2005. Trent first introduced me to this song (being that he has some interesting musical tastes as well) back before I moved to live with Fawn (2008).

I hope you like it as much as I do. I truly feel a lot of the lyrics for this song, being in a constant state of turmoil regarding the religion I was raised in and the disbelief I feel towards religion as a whole today. I believe in a God. Or gods/goddesses. I do not necessarily believe in the God of the Christians. Having been involved in Christianity for most of my life I know a lot about the bible and the beliefs system, but none of it seems to match up with what we are supposed to be doing. What we are supposed to be.

I can't follow a God who just allows stuff to happen. Or even condones it. I am not a metal to be fired. I am a human being who breaks much more easily than a metal. And though He says we never go through more than we can handle, there is a lot that I can't handle and I have gone through it. I survived (in some cases, barely), but does that mean I CAN handle it?

I don't know. Its all a huge mystery to me. I am not a "believer" (or belieber for that matter) anymore, but in many ways I miss going to church and praying to God. Strange, I know. Oh well. On to the song, shall we?

Dear God - XTC

All of Her: Prologue

"I'm still in love with all of her."

He says that and my heart breaks, because I know it's true. I can imagine them entangled, wrapped up in pink sheets and pink flesh. It isn't fair, of course, but I can see that it doesn't matter what is fair and what is not.

Am I an idiot for wishing it was me instead?

I smile, a wobbly smile that speaks of tears and regret. He doesn't notice, he is staring off into her distance. The beach feels like it is trying to swallow me whole. The ocean is rocking and he is rocking away and into her arms. I'm still just standing there. Watching the two loves of my life fall in love with each other.

Its like a punch to my chest, really. Like he just took a rusty nail and pounded it into my heart.

I feel like getting drunk. I watch them swimming off into the sunset, like a couple of mer-people to Atlantis. Or maybe that is my broken heart's imagination. Its a little ridiculous, looking at it from where I am now.

"What did you say?" he asks.

I am snapped out of my depressing daydreams. Did I say something out loud? Was I just voicing my inner monologues? Oh shit.

"Hmm? I didn't say anything." I start walking away. He doesn't follow, so I take this as a good sign. Everything has reduced to slow motion action movie, that moment where the good guy moves just in time kind of moment. Except, instead of action it is me being a bit of a child and trying to run away from something I don't understand.

The time has come, the walrus says, to talk of many things. He is right, of course, even talking walruses can be right sometimes. Unfortunately for myself, I don't feel like talking about anything. Is it strange that I have a walrus in my head rather than shoulder angels/devils? Thank Alice for that, of course.

I have decided to run away. Or cry. Either seems viable at this moment. Alice and David are off in their wonderland, in love and laughing. I turn, still in slow motion, and see them kissing and smiling that sweet and innocent smile of a first and only love. Damn it, why did I look back?

I feel like Lot's wife, like I've just been turned into salt because I glanced back. I'm frozen and slightly raw, like the wound just got scrubbed. Ridiculous really, to liken my feelings to some woman who may or may not have existed and may or may not have been turned into a pillar of salt. And now that I think about it, how did they know she got turned into a pillar of salt if they weren't allowed to look back? Or were they behind her when she looked back?

Now I'm just rambling.

Nothing changes the fact that Alice and David are still canoodling and I'm still being a child and walking away. Again with my stupid and irrational inner monologues.

It is time for a change. A distance of sorts. I'm not running away.

Okay, I am.

Who can blame me really? It isn't fair. Not fair at all. I want to scream or bleat like a billy goat. Neither one of those things will do a damn bit of good. I know that. Plus, I'll just look like an idiot. So, time for a change of scenery, Abra. Time to rethink everything in a different location.

The only real question now is: Where?

I Need You

Today's video is "I Need You" by The Beatles (as written and performed by George Harrison). The video is taken from their movie "Help!", one of my all time favorite movies, actually.

This song is my favorite by The Beatles. When I was younger (and we lived in the country) I would wander through the woods singing it to myself, imagining I was a lovely ghost. Silly, I know, but my imagination has always wandered. I would sing to the trees, stopping to wrap my arms around some of them (just because that is picturesque, don't you know?). The trees have always been my friends. When I was still a Christian, I used to take my battered Bible and preach sermons to them. All very strange, and totally off topic.

I Need You by George Harrison, as performed by The Beatles.

It Gets Better

In April (the 13th to be specific), I posted a blog called "September's Children" (you can link to it here: http://saraicrazyblog.blogspot.com/2011/04/septembers-children.html?zx=7d1cbeb70cf8bf40) about young adults and children who killed themselves because of being tormented by their peers for being homosexual/bisexual/transgendered/etc. I also posted a song by a group called Rise Against called "Make it Stop (September's Children)". At the time there was no official video for the song, but I wanted to post it anyway because of the powerful message of the song itself.

Today I was on Facebook (a terrible addiction, by the way) and saw that Fergie (I "like" her on Facebook) had posted a link to the video, because Rise Against is her label-mate. Obviously I had to go and watch it. Unfortunately my computer is slow as hell some days (especially in the afternoon because it is a community connection through our apartment complex), so I settled for downloading it and then watching. And I was blown away.

The song is powerful all on its own. The lyrics pack a proverbial punch without any added imagery, really. For example, the line: "What God would damn a heart? What God drove us apart?" For me, the impact of these statements are staggering. Growing up in church, I was taught that Homosexuality was wrong. As a young woman, I finally admitted to my own tendencies toward Bisexuality. My attraction to women has been around for quite some time, if I admit it to myself. I have always been curious and I've always known in a way. I just never admitted it to myself. Or anyone else for that matter.

Then I saw the video and what I thought couldn't be a more powerful message astounded me by being even more powerful when packed with visual imagery, rather than mental imagery.

I started thinking about all the injustices committed against those who choose to love someone. It's like Love is a dirty word. Love isn't about "Love", it is about what looks good. Its about what makes other people happy. Its about not offending someone. It offends someone's grandmother that a beautiful boy is kissing another beautiful boy, rather than a beautiful girl. It offends some "pastor" that a young black (Asian, Arab, Indian, etc.) man wants to marry a young white girl. It gets under someone's skin that a young woman loves an older man. All the terrible names, all the murders, the suicides, all the hate, because two people can't possibly love each other. What a sin! Heaven forbid that we LOVE one another. Heaven forbid that we actually follow what the Bible says.

That is something I hate more than anything, too. Christians (and Muslims, Hindus and any other religious group) are good at picking what they agree with in the Bible (or whatever religious tome) and ignoring everything else. People like Pat Robertson (I bitch about him a lot, I know, but he gets under my skin SO MUCH) claim the verse "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination." (King James Version; Leviticus chapter 18, verse 22). They also follow that verse with this one (also found in Leviticus 18, verse 29) "For whosoever shall commit any of these abominations, even the souls that commit them shall be cut off from among their people." There are also many verses in Deuteronomy that suggest stonings and the such for people who don't follow the laws of the Lord.

Now here is where things get a little sticky. Jesus said, "A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another." (John 13:34-35)

He also said, "And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself." (Matthew 22:39)

Jesus and God are the same person. Ask almost any Christian and you will be told that God is God, Jesus is God and the Holy Spirit is God. God the father, God the son and God the Holy Ghost. So, if Jesus is God and He said to "Love thy Neighbour", we should be following that right? Something my mother used to always say to me was "Love the sinner, hate the sin." Which I think sums up what Jesus was trying to say. Except one problem, God said that those who disobey Him are to be punished with death, exile, etc. So which do we follow? Well obviously we SAY that we should love our neighbours. Of course, if they are gay, black, Muslim, et cetera, then forget that.

Another thing, and this isn't a religious based question, isn't America supposed to be the land of the free? ("One Nation Under God, I feel its love like a cattle prod" That is another line from the song that comes to mind.)Isn't America supposed to be Equal? All Human Beings were made equal in the Eyes of God. Isn't that what America stands for? We are Equal, we are United. Unless, of course, you are African-American, Muslim, Homosexual, Asian, Catholic, Jewish, Women or we just don't like your face. In which case, we are NOT equal or united. United we could stand, Divided we will fall.

I spit in my brother's face because he is different and he spits in mine, is that equality? Is that what men like Bobby Kennedy and Martin Luther King Jr. died for? Is that what the men and women serving in Iraq have died for? Are we only free when we are white and boring? Seriously? Who wants to be a clone? Who wants everyone to be the same? Our differences are what makes us US! Who are we if not ourselves?

I am proud to be a Young, Deist, Bisexual, Varied Woman! I am proud to be who I am, in spite of what everyone says I should be. I am proud to Love whoever I choose to love, in spite of who everyone says I should. I am proud to say and do whatever I want to, not what I am told I should and should not say and do.

In that spirit, I now present the official video for "Make it Stop (September's Children)" by Rise Against. Thanks for reading my rant (or at least for watching the video, since I know that was a wall of text).