Oh the Lists you shall read...

Those of you who know me personally know that I am quite fond of lists. Lists are fun. I like listing things when I'm stressed, because it is relaxing. I particularly enjoy alphabetizing as well. Awkward, I know. I'm very odd, but I am who I am.

The following lists are things I'm looking forward to. In movies, games, books, music, etc. Yep, lists of things I am looking forward to! Are you ready?

Movies
Bunraku

First on this list is "Bunraku" which is Gackt's movie with Joshua Hartnett. I have been waiting for this fucking movie for almost 3 years now! It was announced in 2008, but kept being put off and put off, until finally it has been released in the states. How do I know this? I was at work and it was listed on the fucking movie channels on the TV!! I was super excited (and a little pissed) and I can hardly wait to see it when it goes to DVD, which it hopefully will soon.

Also, I totally didn't know that Demi Moore, Woody Harrelson and Ron Perlman were in this. An interesting cast (eclectic, if you will) to say the least.

A Dangerous Method

Second is the newest Keira Knightley movie (also starring Viggo Mortensen!). In this film, Keira plays Sabina the first real patient of Carl Jung (famed psychoanalyst), as well as his mistress. Viggo plays Sigmund Freud, which made me laugh a little. Also, I wonder if he will be naked in this film (seeing as how Viggo thoroughly enjoys being nude in almost every film I've seen him in). Admittedly, I want to see this because I'm a huge fan of Keira Knightley and Viggo Mortensen (though, I didn't know he was in it at first). I'm also a big fan of history, though Hollywood has a tendency to butcher the truth to the point that it all seems fictionalized.

The Muppets

Yep, that's right. The Muppets are back! And I, for one, am SUPER excited! I have always been a fan of the muppets, ever since I was a child, so this is like my childhood coming back. Which excites me. Except, I really don't like Amy Adams. Other than that though, I can't wait to see Kermit and Miss Piggy in action again!

The Three Musketeers

They are making a new "Three Musketeers" movie and, whilst it sounds interesting, I'm not entirely sure about it. I am excited about seeing Orlando Bloom and Christoph Waltz (who has shot to massive movie popularity recently) as bad guys and enticed by the trailer. However, I hold no super high hopes for it. Excited, but reserved in my excitedness. Also it looks like they tried to make it sci-fi, which I'm not sure I'm going to like, as the story is exciting enough without adding a bunch of ridiculousness to it. Just sayin'.

Anonymous

This movie takes on the whole "Shakespeare conspiracy", which isn't even a real conspiracy, but whatever. I want to see this because I am entertained by the stupid notion that Shakespeare didn't actually write any of his stuff. Shakespeare was a fucking genius and any writing analyst can tell you that the style is the same through out his works, meaning that only one man wrote them. That god being Shakespeare. Anywho, I'm sure I'll rant about this movie once I see it, but in the meantime I am ridiculously intrigued by it.

And other than a few new Johnny Depp films, I am rather disappointed with Hollywood. They are doing sequels to a lot of stuff that should've ended with the last sequel, as well as remaking a bunch of stuff that doesn't need to be remade. I shouldn't be surprised, because Hollywood has been steadily going down hill for years, but the fact that they are making an "I am Legend 2" really shows that they have scrapped the bottom of the proverbial barrel.

Things I'm NOT looking forward to:
* Breaking Dawn (I fucking hate Twilight!)
* Any of the movies that have to do with sex (there were a bunch listed on IMDB)
* All these sequels that shouldn't be
* All these supernatural thrillers that are going to fall flat because no one knows a good idea from their ass any more.

Books
Bridge of Dreams
This book is by Anne Bishop and is the third installment in what was, originally, the Ephemera Duology. I had my suspicions that she would write another book for this series, as she left things slightly unfinished. I was extremely excited to hear that she was, in fact, writing a third book. This book is going to be centered around Lee, Gloriana's brother and Sebastian's cousin. It is supposed to arrive in March 2012 and I am awaiting it with baited breath!

Thirst No. 4
This book is by Christopher Pike and, I believe, is the final book in the Thirst series. One of the zaniest and best vampire stories I've ever read, it follows Alisa Perne who is both beloved of Krishna and vampiress with an attitude. She is at turns made up and real, beautiful and ugly, cruel and kind, wicked and virtuous. I love this series, even though I thought I wouldn't at first. And I am especially excited to read this last book. It arrived in August, but I have been unable to get a hold of a copy just yet. When I do, it will be for keeps, as I own the other three in the series.

In the Garden of Beasts
This book is by Erik Larson, who also wrote "The Devil in the White City". I am hoping to read this (and a few others by him) relatively soon. Though I am excited to read this, I'm not as excited as I am for the other two books I've listed thus far.

The Dovekeepers
This book is by Alice Hoffman. I am a huge fan of Ms. Hoffman's, having read several of her other books through out my high school career. So it should come as no huge surprise that I would be interested another book by her, especially since this one involves a great deal of history, as well as mythology. Two of my favorite subjects!

Games
BioShock Infinite
Anyone who knows me should know that BioShock was the first game I ever played (aside from Mario when I was young, but truly who hasn't played Mario or Sonic at some point in their childhood?). I recently found out that Donnie purposefully played that game when I'd be watching to create something else for us to have in common. How stealthy of him. At any rate, I played and fell in love. I fell in love with Atlas and Tennenbaum, the big daddies and little sisters, Andrew Ryan and, consequently, Ayn Rand. I loved it so much that I have also played BioShock II. Which didn't fail me. Now I am just as excited about BioShock Infinite (as well as a potential movie starring my favorite actor, Wentworth Miller, as the iconic Jack) to be released sometime in the next year. Preferably before the world ends so I have time to play it.

Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
For this game I have considerably less time to wait, since it makes it's premier in 11 days. And I may or may not have it on pre-order... Okay, I totally do! Oblivion was the second game I played, if I remember correctly. So it makes sense that I would want to play another Elder Scrolls game (though I haven't really gotten into Morrowind, much to Donnie's chagrin). Did I mention that you can duel wield in this game?! Do you know how freakin' cool that is?!

Dragon Age III
This game is only rumored, but being a lover of Dragon Age (I and II) I am hoping with fingers, toes, eyes, arms and legs crossed that it happens. And not only that, but that it happens SOON! I also desperately want it to feature some of the party members we have had previously, such as Zevran and Fenris, my two favorite elves. Obviously it would be dependent on what kind of ending you chose whether or not you could meet up with Anders or Sebastian (downloaded content is awesome btw). I would also love to finally see a romance between a human player character and a dwarven NPC party member. Seriously, it is wrong to discriminate against the dwarves. Especially hot ones like Varric, with that sexy voice and manly chest. Just sayin'. Okay, so I'll admit part of the reason I play the Dragon Age games is for the romances, as well as some of the quests. Donnie says I'm a dork. And he would be right. I love well done, if not awkward, romance. I can't help it. I'm a girl for heaven's sakes!! They would revoke my card if I didn't love at least a LITTLE romance every now and then.

Alice: Madness Returns
This is purely experimental on my part. I love Alice in Wonderland. A lot, actually. One of my all time favorite things to quote is from Alice Through the Looking-Glass by Lewis Carroll.
"'The time has come,' the walrus said. 'to talk of many things. Of shoes and ships, of cabbages and kings. And why the sea is boiling hot and whether pigs have wings. Calloo, callay, let's rule the day like cabbages and kings.'"
I quote that often, in fact. So it should be no surprise that I would be interested in an Alice video game, especially one that reveals the darker side of the classic story. Plus the trailer is fucking cool!! Its like Dali on fucking acid and dude was trippy enough.

Music
Ceremonials by Florence + the Machine
Last, but certainly not least on my list is music. And it should truly come as no real shock that I super excited for the latest album from Flo and the Machine. I am already passionately in love with "What the Water Gave Me" (as should've been blatantly obvious with my previous blog post containing the video) and, like a rabid fan girl, am ready for more!

Unfortunately that is about it for that. A lot of the artists I enjoy aren't releasing anything new right now. I am more into finding songs, then I am actual albums, because I have a tendency to only like a few songs by an artist. Most of which are on multiple albums.

Except for Gackt of course. But I mean, if you were me wouldn't you love everything the man has ever done?

Criminal

I have been slightly addicted to the latest Britney Spears song. I don't know why, other than I love the instrumental and I love the video...

Why do I love the video? One, its sexy as fuck. Secondly, I love the criminal too. I really do. You know? Because he at least doesn't hit girls. He robs places, but he doesn't hit girls. I know, I know. I'm messed up. Shocking, really. Not.

Seriously though, I fall head over heels for a guy who protects a woman. I really do. Actually, that's part of the reason I fell in love with Donnie. He has always defended me against the creeps I have known. Always. It both frightens me and excites me, not going to lie. So watching this dude with "Live" tattooed on his knuckles beat the shit out of a guy who just bitch-slapped Britney kind of makes me super happy. And even though he is rugged, I think he's hot. Which is also messed up. *shrug* I've always had a thing for older men too...

Anywho, I love the instrumental to this song, because it starts off with the softness of a traditional medieval song. It really does. I think of medieval dresses and romances when I hear the open sequence. I am currently on a mission to find just the instrumental, which shouldn't be too hard, to be honest.

So, for your viewing pleasure (or displeasure depending on your viewpoint) "Criminal" by Britney Spears

All of Her: Chapter One

No one should find it surprising that the first person I go to, after this catastrophe of the heart, is Noah. Noah being the bestest best gay guy friend a confused and heartbroken girl could ask for.

When we were twelve he was my first kiss. I was his last, as far as women are concerned. Or girls, since I didn't yet qualify as a woman. When we were sixteen he came out to me in my parent's basement a week before Christmas. The next year, a week before Thanksgiving, I told him I was bisexual. Once again, in my parent's basement.

"He is in love with her." I cry, flopping into his arms before he even has a chance to register what I said.

"What? Who is in love with who?" He is stunned, obviously. Also I just flopped into his arms, so he is struggling to keep me up.

"My life is over!" I say, dramatically.

"Surely it can't be as bad as all that."

"Of course it can! This is me we are speaking of here. My life is one giant fuck you from the universe. I might as well give up now." Now, I'm just being dramatic for the effect and he knows it. He is getting annoyed and if I don't stand on my own he is going to drop me.

"Maybe you should start from the beginning."

When I was twelve, shortly after my first kiss from Noah, I met a boy. This boy was the most gorgeous, most intelligent, most wonderful boy I had ever met. And I quickly fell in love with him.

Fast forward ten years and I am sitting in the rectory of a pretty Catholic church. I am about to be married to the man of my dreams. A boy I have loved since I was twelve. A boy I have longed for with everything I have for so long I have nothing left to give. This beautiful, intelligent, wonderful boy leaves me waiting in the rectory. He leaves me waiting before the priest and God. He leaves me in my beautiful white dress and tiny white veil, my cream roses and baby's breath sprigs wilting.

He leaves me because I admitted to him that I was also in love with my best girl friend, Alice. I admit that I want her just as much, that I can't live without either of them. That I am falling into a beautiful insanity where she loves me too and we are happy forever.

He leaves because he has fallen just as in love with Alice as I have. And behind my back, as I planned my wedding and planned my beautiful life with him, he planned a beautiful life with her. The terriblest of terrible things is I should've seen it coming. I should've noticed how they often whispered to each other. Or gazed longingly at one another. But I was in love with two beautiful stars in orbit around my sun. I didn't know that I was a star orbiting their sunlight.

I hadn't confessed my love to Alice yet. I hadn't asked her to be a part of this beautiful life that I was hoping to have. I was waiting. I was a fool.

We fought. He and I. I was humiliated. The church took pity on me and gave me back the money I spent to have the ceremony there. The caterer was not so generous. Though I did get to keep all twenty-four pounds of chicken and six pounds of cake. Isn't that sad though? I demanded that he go through with his promise. That he marry me as he promised he would when we were young and I first gave myself to him. How foolish could I be?

Fast forward to just about fifteen minutes ago. We are standing on the beach. He tried to follow through. He tried to love me. I think so anyway. Maybe I'm wrong. I have been before. We tried again. It still didn't work. Its funny how if something doesn't work the first time it usually doesn't the second time. While we stand on the beach, both of us fighting our inner feelings, here comes Alice. My second love, my worst enemy and best friend. What a beautiful bitch. I hate her right now, truly I do.

And that's when he looks at me and confesses his true feelings. Now I feel like my heart just went through a trash compactor. I don't like that feeling.

"You do realize you didn't have to actually start from the beginning right? Because I mean, I knew all of that up to the last fifteen minutes."

"You know, you could be a little more supportive right now!" I begin to cry and I am all through with the theatrics. These are real, gut-wrenching tears. The only man I've ever been with, the only man I've ever loved just told me that he no longer loves me, but is in love with my best friend. Well, second best friend. And to be honest, I'm thinking that, at this point, I should probably stop calling her a friend at all. What kind of best friend steals your man on your wedding day?

"Oh honey, you knew he was a douchebag after he left you at the altar. Why in heaven's name did you think you could make it work after that?" He is right. I hate that. I don't want him to be right, I want him to hug me and tell me that David is going to come to his fucking senses and marry me.

"That isn't really what I was hoping you would say, Noah."

"I know. But at this moment you need sour honesty, not sugar coated lies." Once again, he is right. I hate him right now. I don't like anyone. Everyone can just go screw themselves.

He does hug me. Though, at this point, I'd like to take a bat to his knee-caps for being right. And, in fact, I'm imagining all the horrific things I would like to do to David and Alice. Some of it may or may not involve casks studded with nails, a rocky hill and gratutious amounts of nudity. Yes, that sounds like a Grimm vengenance.

"So what are you going to do now?" He asks. And to be honest, I have no freakin' clue. Blow something up? Assassinate margaritas until I burst with alcohol poisoning? I have to think a minute before I do something rash. In the meantime I guess I'll just listen to a bunch of sad break up songs and commiserate with a tub of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.

"I guess I'll just go home and drown myself in ice cream and music. I really don't know what else to do. I feel like I just lost a major limb or something."

He hugs me again, squeezing my hand in his. He wants to fix it, because we've been through everything together, but we both know he can't fix this one. Not even with dry wit and all the ice cream in the world.

"You want me to come with you?" He is holding me at arm's length. Searching my face for any signs that I'll fly off the handle and kill someone. Or myself. He doesn't need to worry. Yet.

"No. I just really want to be alone right now. I'll call you tomorrow." I hug him again, he kisses my cheek and I find myself driving toward my empty apartment.

When I get there, David has already been there getting some of his things. He has left a note taped to the refrigerator saying he'll be back to finish packing up. It says he's sorry. It says he can't love me with half of his heart. A John Mayer reference, how nice. I suppose I'll listen to that first.

I kick off my shoes and walk into the bedroom. Most of the drawers are still open as if a tornado came through and tore out all of his clothing. He left a few of his t-shirts though. I don't care if it is wrong, but I need to feel him in some way. I put on his Red Sox tee and slippy into some fuzzy pajama bottoms. I pad around the room picking up miscellanous items he has tossed to the floor. I see another shirt of his. The one he was wearing earlier. I can't help myself. I pick it up, press it against my face and begin to cry.

How can I live without him? How can I even begin to start over? I have devoted the past ten years of my life to this man. I've given him everything. My heart, my life, my virginity. I think that last stings the most too. How could I have been so wrong in my choice? I sink to the floor, still clutching his shirt to my tear soaked face. I don't care that my mascara is running and I have snot dripping from my bright red nose. I don't care that he may come in and see me falling completely apart. I don't care that I don't even have the strength to lie to him about it.

Somehow, and I'm not even sure how I found it, I find the strength to stand and put his dirty clothes in the washing machine. I find the courage to go into the living room and turn on some music. I wish I didn't, as soon as I start up the cd player. The very first song is "Not Over You" by Gavin DeGraw. What a jerk he is, to be singing my heart right now. Except, I don't even have the strength to lie to David. If he came in right now, I'd be forced to tell him that I'll never be over him. I could never possibly get over him, no matter how hard I would try. I can't be happy for him either. Not for him and most certainly not for Alice.

I spend my night with that particular song on repeat, trying to find some semblance of sanity to cling to. Trying to pull myself together. And failing miserably at it. I don't even know if I sleep. If I do, I don't dream of anything except of myself sitting with my knees pulled to my chest on the floor in front of my purple plaid couch. I dream of myself not moving, only tears streaming down my face and Gavin DeGraw ripping my heart out because he is feeling what I am right now.

Things have to get better eventually right?

It Happened in Indiana

This poem is based on the horrible things that happened to a young woman named Sylvia Likens. She was brutally tortured and abused, and murdered. That was in 1965.

She was 16.

Go here to learn more about the horrible things that happened to Sylvia [http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/notorious_murders/young/likens/8.html] and [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sylvia_Likens]

I don't know if it helps at all, but I can't help but believe that this young woman deserves to be remembered. Especially on this day, the day she died in 1965.

It Happened in Indiana
"I'm a prostitute and proud of it!" scrawled in burning letters across her skin,
bruises forming blue and purple spiders that can't scatter away from the light.
Tied to a filthy bed, naked and dying, she can't even avoid soiling herself.
"You can't ever get married... You can't ever undress in front of others..." the
words filter through the unending pain and the torturous days and nights.

The stench of urine and feces permeates her dreaming, the taste of shit in her
mouth makes her gag. Why do they hate her so? What did she ever do to
deserve this abuse? She is shaking, so hungry for real food, hungry for gentility,
hungry for escape. Could she run? Could she escape? Could she convince
someone to help her? She is terrified, because she hears them coming, like
thousands of venomous snakes tasting her fear, eager for her blood, for her pain.

She is swollen, bruised by the forced violations. She is naked again, their leering
eyes dancing over her skin, over the burns and wounds. They are laughing at her,
laughing as her abuser forces her to push the bottle further up. What will happen
next? More scalding baths? More salt in the wounds that they inflict? Or will it be
another forced tattoo?

Is this to be her fate, to die on this filthy mattress, locked in a cellar, in the dark?
She cries, cries for an imagined baby and a mutilated body, for burns and bruises,
for her sister and for herself. Forced into a tub full of scalding water, salt
viciously rubbed into the burns, skin falling off. Her bones jut out at odd angles,
the result of malnutrition. Welts from the belt rise to the surface, eager to show
themselves for what they are.

A 16 year old girl; tortured, submitted to a sexless sex crime and other horrors,
lies dead on a soiled mattress in the dark. The words "I'm a prostitute and proud
of it!" burned into her stomach, a 3 scarred into her chest. Bruises like blue and
purple spiders scattered across her pale flesh, naked and eyes fixed on oblivion.
Her name? Does she even have one? Or is she just a dead girl from Indiana?

Story of My Life

I am currently trying to write a story about a girl who has lost her mind, basically.

I have no idea what to call it yet. I haven't even thought of a name for her. I have a couple characters though and a few songs. And a few ideas. So we are going to go with it.

The premise of this story is that this girl, who is yet to be named, can't have the guy she is in love with. I have yet to decide who that is, but I'm leaning towards a guy named Elijah. Because of this she decides that she is already miserable so why try to be happy?

One day she randomly hooks up with this guy named Eric. And she realizes that she is going to go on a sexual rampage. She is going to date/have sex with a bunch of guys and then assign songs to them as "break-up" songs. To supposedly torture herself with later.

Two characters don't want her to do this. One being Noah, her best gay guy friend. The other being a stranger that she tries to hook up with, unsuccessfully, who I have yet to name.

I think this will be an interesting dive into the belief that a lot of young women have that sex equals love, when it clearly doesn't. Women have been fooling themselves with this belief for centuries and probably will continue for centuries to come.

At any rate, I don't know if it is just me, but sometimes I listen to a song and I wish that I had experienced something so that I could relate to that song. Or have a horrifically bad break-up so I could be reminded why I'll never do that again. I think that is just me.

When I have some semblance of a beginning to this story I'll post it.

Anywho, for a song I've decided to post "Jesus" by Gackt, because it has absolutely nothing to do with what I was saying and I love it. So yes, cheers to my egocentric self (oops, wrong song).

The Guys Are Coming

This song is by Wheesung (whom I've blogged songs by before) featuring Ailee. I am currently in love with this song. It literally gave me goosebumps the first time I watched/listened to it.

I blame Pom Pomme Pomegranate.

Enjoy!

Jezebel

Everywhere you looked there was lice and disease, hunger and pain. Starvation was a constant bedfellow. Some had turned to cannibalism. They murdered their children, and abandoned babes, and consumed them. Some cut down the executed, some dug out fresh corpses. All to stave off the ever-present hunger.

The lice, and diseases they brought, drove men to madness. Some stood on the corners, or sides of the road, cupping their hands to receive water that never came. They preached the end of the world and often killed themselves in a public display of self-loathing. By the next day they were nothing but glistening bones and dust.

Long had we been forced to live in these conditions while the king and queen drank clean water and ate to their fill. We stood in the recesses of the castle at night as the king made love to his queen on golden fabrics and lice-free beds.

Even though their people starved and went mad all around them, they seemed oblivious to everything, but themselves. That night we took our places in history, rebellious revolutionaries demanding our dance with fate.

~

On that night, I caressed the queen's quivering form. She did not glare at me in hate, her only expression was that of confusion. She must have wondered who I was. I kissed her passionately as the gilded blade slid inside of her. It has been said that there is no lover as beautiful as death and her knife. Her eyes fluttered only a moment before they closed. A true patriot, I had saved her.

The king did not die so easily. One thousand black crows decided his fate. Each one hungrier than the next for their morsel of tender flesh. Judged and found wanting, they pronounced a punishment fit for a man called tyrant. They tore him apart, piece by piece, until all that remained was his shattered skull. He had been eaten alive by a crowd that had once worshiped him.

~

Then Israel stood up, his eyes bright in the birth of a new dawn and a new nation. His white dreadlocks created a halo around his dark face so that we saw him as he was. Our saviour.

"My people," he cried. "this night we have wrested freedom from the hands of tyranny. We have labored through the birth of a new day. We have given life to the revolution and paid the prices due. Now is the dawn of our new age, given with blood and tears. Celebrate your new freedom!"

The crowd roared with consent, a deafening ocean of voices rising as one to his ears. They had died, killed and shed many a tear for this new era. Now their new found god, their new tyrant, called them to dance and make love and drink in the halls of a murdered king.

And they did so with relish.

~

I stood beside him as he spoke, the blood of my beautiful queen staining my lips and hands. He kissed those bloody lips when he was done. He gave my new name to the hungry crows, as they reveled in the filth they had created, a name to eclipse any other. I have been called many things.

"This is my queen. My Jezebel." He spoke my new name as a caress, said it with pride and fear. He had crowned us king and queen, undisputed before the crowd. With those perfect lips, and a poisonous tongue, he pronounced our doom.

I stood with him the day our names were called. There was a price to be paid and we must pay it. We stood on the scaffold, as a king had before us. Israel, unbelieving, stared out at the same hungry crows that had devoured the previous saviour. They called for his blood as they had for the tyrant before. They meant to have it.

They tore at my dress and my short hair, declaring me a witch and a pixie. The nakedness only served to frenzy them. Israel cried out, "Save me, save me!" In the end he was just as weak as any other man of flesh and blood.

And, just as the Jezebel before me, I was devoured by the wild dogs.

Thank God!

Dear Sarah Palin,

Thank you for NOT accelerating my plans to move to Sweden since you dropped out of the presidential race. I almost cried I was so happy. This is the best gift you've ever given the American people. Now, could you please one up yourself and completely disappear from our lives? We'd appreciate it greatly!! Well, those of us who haven't lost our goddamn minds.

Now, if only we could convince Michelle Bachmann to do the same thing!

sincerely,
Sarai.

Things Men Do That Piss Me Off.

AKA:

Things that Men in Movies/Television/Books do that Pisses Me off
First example is from this drama that Pomme and I are watching right now. It is called "A Prince's First Love" and whilst I know (in my head, though my heart wants something else to happen) that because of this title (and K-drama standard plot twists) that the girl is going to end up with him, I really don't want her to. Granted there is always a chance that I (and Pomme) could be wrong, I'm pretty sure I (we) are correct in this assumption.

Gun-Hee (the main male lead aside from Mr. Cha) is currently being a total prick. My reasoning for this is because he seems to believe that just because his family is rich and he is handsome that he can have any girl he wants. Including the heroine of this drama, Yu-Bin. Not only that but he also seems to believe that if he treats her like crap she will fall into, not only his arms, but his bed as well.

And when she really needs him, what does he do? He plays the arrogant asshole who refuses to her face and then goes behind her back to fix it. Which doesn't work, btw.

"I think all women are easy."
Edward Cullen (yep, I went there). Where to even begin. Seriously, everything this man does is wrong. He plays with Bella's emotions, breaks into her room and watches her sleep (which is a criminal offense ladies and gentlemen, not romantic), breaks her car so she can't go somewhere, treats her like a yo-yo and threatens to EAT her. And we're NOT talking cunnilingus. In fact, he avoids sex all together. At least, until he marries her and then he practically rapes her. Because that's romantic right?

My biggest qualm with Edward is the abusive way he plays with Bella's emotions. He tells her he loves her and then he leaves her. He threatens to eat her (once again, not a happy eating), but then avoids her all together. He is constantly saying one thing and doing another. Or abandoning her all together.

"I know you think that I have some kind of perfect, unyielding self-control, but thats not actually the case."
In various movies/books/tv shows, there are a lot of men who are obviously abusive, however they always get the girl. Reasons behind this are because nobody apparently realizes that it is abusive. A prime example of this is the scene from "The Notebook" where Noah asks Allie out. By threatening to kill himself by letting go at the top of a ferris wheel.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8ldUWIruvs
That, ladies, is a form of abusive. Not romantic. It forces you to make a decision out of distress. Not because you care, necessarily, but because you are being pressured with the threat of bodily harm. Not even harm toward you. Mental abuse is the most prevalent form of abuse, partially because what constitutes mental abuse can be masked. In this example it is masked by being passionate and romantic. It is NOT passionate, nor is it romantic to threaten to kill yourself so that you get your way. Grow the fuck up.

"Would you stay with me?"

Anywho, that is my little rant for right now. I'm sure I'll expound upon this particular topic further in the future. But for now I'm going to go to bed. Ponder what I've said my pretties.

Friends for the Win

Me: "If I die young, bury me in satin."

Joe T.: Okay. What's young?

David: "lay me down in a bed of roses"

Cydni: "sink me in the river at dawn, send me away with the words of a love songggggggg. ♥"

Joe T.: Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee. Oh. Wait. That's a book title. Sorry. My bad.

Felisha: "whoa o whoa o..."

Joe N.: bury me with my money....the whole 4 bucks

L.E.D.: LOL. OH YEAH. TOTALLY GONNA DO THAT!

Me: I have some awesome friends right here. Just sayin'.