Occurrence

It occurs to me that to be great, one must practice greatness.

It occurs to me that to be good, one must practice goodness.

It occurs to me that to be evil, one needs to only let the evil in.

I don't know what that means, but it occurred to me that meaning can be found in anything and anybody. Different meanings for different people.

Am I being metaphorical? Or just talking out my ass? That depends on who you are. It depends on what you believe and how you feel.

I see a friend's rapid transformation from Buddhism to Christianity as being brainwashed. Others view this as a beautiful transition from the life of a blatant sinner to that of pureness through Jesus Christ.

I see a flower and wish to keep it forever. Others see it and know that it will die shortly.

I don't think I'm being metaphorical. I think I'm talking out my ass here. Because I feel like writing something, because I one day wish to attain goodness, if not greatness.

Neuro Bliss (and other such topics)

So I'm drinking something called "Neuro Bliss" and I'm not so sure about it. It kind of tastes like watered down Grapefruit juice. I don't think I like it, but if it de-stresses like it says it will I should probably invest in a case.

There were a various assortment of "Neuro" drinks and I even saw one that is supposed to promote healthy weight loss (which I could use), but for the price I don't think it is worth it. I'm a broke bitch. I'm not paying that much to lose some weight that I could work off at home. And I had lost some weight. With all the stress I've had recently I think I've gained most of it back though.

However, in all seriousness, if this "Neuro Bliss" de-stresses me, I may invest. I have tried all sorts of things to be calm and cool and collected. To not worry about stuff. I just end up worrying that I can't stop worrying. Which is uselessly annoying.

So, drink up me hearties, Neuro Bliss only looks like semen in a bottle... Maybe Donnie did actually create Semen in a can... It is lightly carbonated... Now I'm scared.

You Put Your Arms Around Me

I love this lyrics video. It is very old fashioned and fun to watch. Plus, I really feel the lyrics. I am touched, because I know the emotions behind this piece. The fear of losing, the fear of being left. To quote:

"A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left." - Marilyn Monroe.



"You put your arms around me and I believe it is easier for you to let me go."

I am an Architect

I have posted Rise Against before and I'm about to do it again. They may not be the best band, their music has some mediocre sounds to it. But they are some of the few who actually speak up when everyone else is silent.

This song is about those heroes that we look up to (or used to look up to, depending). This song is powerful and I hope it shames those in power into remembering who they were. Who they were before power and greed and shame took over. When they truly believed what they fought for.

You Don't Own Me

Randomly, I heard this song and decided to re-listen to it. Great song. Don't really like this video, but it was the best version of the song. Lesley Gore, ladies and Gentlemen.

You Don't Own Me.

PFC Brett Wood

Spencer, Indiana, has been in the news recently with their show of patriotism for one of their own, PFC Brett Wood, who was killed recently while overseas. The entire town lined the streets as PFC Wood's was brought home.

His memorial was held in the gymnasium of Owen Valley High School, from which he graduated just last year. His body was later cremated, per his request, and returned to his family.

He was 19.

Rest In Peace, PFC Brett E. Wood.

The Holocaust Memorial Museum

At the Gates of Auschwitz
What is to become of us if no one reads our names or counts the shoes we left behind?
What is to become of us if no one dares remember the torture or the anguish?
What is to become of those who died before us? Those that died with us?
What is to become of us when young women and young men forget the meaning of bravery?
What is to become of us when little girls and little boys grow up not knowing the truth?

I saw her face in the tower of pictures. Her face was almost mine. Few subtle differences and we could've been sisters. A gypsy's face in a sea of faces, all lost to ignorance and blind hatred. All lost in a sea of broken humanity. My fate could've been her's if we were to switch places. And that knowledge is like a punch in the throat. I can't breathe when I look at her. I can't think anything except that she could've been me.

Standing at the gates of Auschwitz, I hesitate. I don't want to feel what I am feeling. This place is full of ghosts. Not the ghosts of stories or movies, the intangible that frighten us with their intangibility. These are real people pressing against me, real faces staring blankly at me. These are real people whose genitals have been sewn shut and whose brains are exposed to high pressure winds. These are real people who are tortured and gassed and tattooed like cattle. These are real children that are starved and mutilated in the name of science, in the name of Aryan science.

These are the faces of the Holocaust. The Jews, the Gypsys, the Homosexuals, the Catholic priests and nuns, the disabled and mentally handicapped. Those who believed differently, those who believed in equality and fought for the lives of others. These are the faces of those who stood up while the whole world held its breath and twiddled its thumbs. These faces could have been mine or yours.

If no one smells the death and the fear, if no one reads the names, if no one stands up when everyone else is sitting down, what becomes of them? What becomes of us? Could we be as brave? Could we face those who were murdered for our silence?

If there is no one left to remember, what becomes of us?

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This was inspired by my walk through the Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington DC.

While in DC I took my notebook everywhere, so I could remember everything to blog it later. I took a lot of pictures and videos too, to keep track, to remember.

I am proud that I still have the ability to feel. Even remembering what I saw and heard, what I read and witnessed, second hand, makes my stomach churn and my eyes fill with tears.

If we all turn blind eyes to atrocities and prejudices what becomes of us?

Some of the things I wrote in my notebook while walking the museum:
* The museum is full of ghosts, but not the kind you find in stories or movies. These ghosts have a heavy presence because of the photos. Their faces stay, even after the photos are gone.
* Standing at the gates of Auschwitz while listening to recordings of the dead and their stories. (They weren't actual gates, they were doors to one of the many buildings in Auschwitz, but my feeling was that of standing before Auschwitz in winter, feeling chilled and horrified)
* Could I ever be so brave?
* What happens if no one reads the names or counts the shoes?

The thing that inspired me most was this exhibit that was nothing but shoes. This exhibit was on loan from a Poland museum. It was one of the most horrifyingly devastatingly real exhibits I've ever experienced. You could smell the death, the fear, the sweat and blood. It made everything so horrifyingly real. I don't think I've ever felt something punch me so hard in the stomach and the heart.

Sometimes we become so desensitized to violence and gore because of the books, music and movies that we have now-a-days. Things become so surreal to us at that point. We don't believe it is real, even though we know it is. And that was so real to me. Seeing those shoes, those empty shoes. Smelling them. Being so close I could've reached out and touched them. Little children wore those shoes. Pregnant women and old men wore those shoes. Before they were brutally killed or tortured or experimented on.

The other thing that inspired me was the small poem that was above the shoes. It is by Moishe Shulstein, a Yiddish poet. It is titled "I Saw a Mountain."

"We are the shoes, we are the last witnesses.
We are shoes from grandchildren and grandfathers,
From Prague, Paris and Amsterdam,
And because we are only made of fabric and leather
And not of blood and flesh, each one of us avoided the hellfire."

The most frightening thing that I learned, aside from the experimentation on prisoners (which I knew a good portion of), was the fact that Germany (and consequently Hitler) was emulating the racist policies in the United States. Especially the Jim Crow laws. They began to mark benches and fountains to separate Jews from Aryans.

Other frightening things were the forced sterilizations and euthanasia of people, most of them weren't even Jewish or disabled. Most of them were regular Germans. Even though the program was originally created to prevent the population of Jews and mentally challenged people.

The last thing I would like to post here (I will probably blog about this more on a future date) is a little poem by Yevgeny Yevtushenko, a Russian poet.

"The wild grasses rustle over Babi Yar.
The trees look ominous,
like judges.
Here all things scream silently,
and, baring my head,
slowly I feel myself
turning gray.
And I myself
am one massive, soundless scream
above the thousand thousand buried here."

What did you say?

Chris: Besides I have a whoopie cake to eat.
Pomegranate: Did you just say wookie?
Chris: NO! I said whoopie! What the hell is in a WOOKIE cake? What's in a Wookie cake?
Pomegranate: Lots of hair.
Chris: No, that's a wookie PIE.

Aqua Amazing

I don't know why, but I kind of like this song by Aqua. And no, it isn't "Barbie Girl" (I much prefer "Barbie is a Bitch"). This song is kind of pedo-ish. It is weird. And of course the video is wacky, because it is Aqua for fuck's sake!

Lollipop (Candyman) by Aqua (My favorite line is "I wish I was a bubblegum" and my favorite scene is where Lene is being tortured by the aliens. Does that make me a horrible person?)

The Teahouse

While I was in Maryland/DC, L.E.D and I went to this place called "Reynolds Tavern" which also happens to be a teahouse. It is not only a really cool historical building, on the circle, but it also has some very interesting and slightly old fashioned things.

We decided on the Afternoon Tea Special for both of us. This included a bottomless pot of tea and various snacks that varied depending on what type of special you picked. We picked the Sweet Tea and Savory Tea.

The Sweet tea came with a pot of Sencha Kyoto Cherry Rose Festival, which is a sweeter tea that we chose based solely on its name. It turned out to be a great choice! It also came with small sweets: a lemon square, a piece of caramel pound cake, a piece of plain pound cake, a heart shaped sugar cookie, a heart shaped lavender infused sugar cookie, two different tarts (which I can't remember the names of) and a scone of our choice. We both picked a cranberry orange scone, which was heaven with fresh whipped cream and strawberry preserves.

The Savory tea came with a pot of Lapsong Souchong, which was suggested to us by our waitress. Lapsong Souchong is a very strange tea, partially because it has a very smoky flavor. To be honest it smelled (and slightly tasted) like bacon. Donnie would've approved. It also came with small savory treats: a Shepard's pie tart, a mushroom truffle tart, two ham finger sandwiches, two egg salad finger sandwiches, two cucumber and cream cheese finger sandwiches and a few other things I can't quite remember.

The restaurant played 40's and 50's music, which was very nice. Including some songs from my favorite musicals. One of the many songs we heard was about Indiana, which made us giggle since we had driven from Indiana to get to Maryland.

There were a lot of interesting things about this place. It was very old-fashioned, which made me happy as I like historical and old-fashioned things. We had honey (with a fancy honey dipper) and actual sugar cubes with our tea. And yes, I did say "One lump or two?" while holding a cube of sugar in some gorgeous little sugar tongs. Our cups were Wedgewood China cups and our tiny tea spoons had little tea cups and tea pots on the ends.

It was definitely worth the visit and I can't wait to go there again. The only thing that we didn't get to try was their "Love Potion #9" which was an alcoholic beverage we decided to save for another trip.

If you find yourself in the Annapolis area, make sure to visit "Reynolds Tavern" on the circle.

Espanol for the win.

Jamal speaks Spanish, fluently, and every now and then, he will wear his sombrero and only speak in Spanish.

Donnie: What is Mexican for Haters gonna hate?
Jamal: Donnie.
Me: Bump it!

Better Off a Quitter

This song has been playing on the radio the past couple of days. And I don't know why, but it tugs at me. I have listened to it multiple times, today in fact. It gives the most realistic portrait of lost love, I think.

Guy fucked up, guy lost the girl. Guy gets drunk and calls her, trying to reconcile. Girl doesn't say anything. Leaving him with nothing. She doesn't even say no. She just let's the silence build. I think she hangs up. And I don't blame her.

All of Her: Prologue

"I'm still in love with all of her."

He says that and my heart breaks, because I know it's true. I can imagine them entangled, wrapped up in pink sheets and pink flesh. It isn't fair, of course, but I can see that it doesn't matter what is fair and what is not.

Am I an idiot for wishing it was me instead?

I smile, a wobbly smile that speaks of tears and regret. He doesn't notice, he is staring off into her distance. The beach feels like it is trying to swallow me whole. The ocean is rocking and he is rocking away and into her arms. I'm still just standing there. Watching the two loves of my life fall in love with each other.

Its like a punch to my chest, really. Like he just took a rusty nail and pounded it into my heart.

I feel like getting drunk. I watch them swimming off into the sunset, like a couple of mer-people to Atlantis. Or maybe that is my broken heart's imagination. Its a little ridiculous, looking at it from where I am now.

"What did you say?" he asks.

I am snapped out of my depressing daydreams. Did I say something out loud? Was I just voicing my inner monologues? Oh shit.

"Hmm? I didn't say anything." I start walking away. He doesn't follow, so I take this as a good sign. Everything has reduced to slow motion action movie, that moment where the good guy moves just in time kind of moment. Except, instead of action it is me being a bit of a child and trying to run away from something I don't understand.

The time has come, the walrus says, to talk of many things. He is right, of course, even talking walruses can be right sometimes. Unfortunately for myself, I don't feel like talking about anything. Is it strange that I have a walrus in my head rather than shoulder angels/devils? Thank Alice for that, of course.

I have decided to run away. Or cry. Either seems viable at this moment. Alice and David are off in their wonderland, in love and laughing. I turn, still in slow motion, and see them kissing and smiling that sweet and innocent smile of a first and only love. Damn it, why did I look back?

I feel like Lot's wife, like I've just been turned into salt because I glanced back. I'm frozen and slightly raw, like the wound just got scrubbed. Ridiculous really, to liken my feelings to some woman who may or may not have existed and may or may not have been turned into a pillar of salt. And now that I think about it, how did they know she got turned into a pillar of salt if they weren't allowed to look back? Or were they behind her when she looked back?

Now I'm just rambling.

Nothing changes the fact that Alice and David are still canoodling and I'm still being a child and walking away. Again with my stupid and irrational inner monologues.

It is time for a change. A distance of sorts. I'm not running away.

Okay, I am.

Who can blame me really? It isn't fair. Not fair at all. I want to scream or bleat like a billy goat. Neither one of those things will do a damn bit of good. I know that. Plus, I'll just look like an idiot. So, time for a change of scenery, Abra. Time to rethink everything in a different location.

The only real question now is: Where?

Am I Doing this Wrong?

When I first started blogging it was mostly to just write. To write about my life and dreams, things I always wanted to write about but had never had a real opportunity to write before.

Admittedly, it was also for the attention. It was to have the sense that someone somewhere gave a damn about what I thought and I what I liked. But did I go about this blogging thing all wrong?

I read other people's blogs and I wonder to myself why I can't seem to write like that. They seem to be writing about what they like and what they don't, just like me. So why do they get more views and comments and I am sitting here struggling to write what little I do write?

I think I am going about this wrong. I am random. They have one main topic or idea that is present through all their posts. I don't understand why I would have one main topic. I get bored to easily and there is really only so much you can say about horses or books or things like that.

But does that mean that I'm blogging wrong? Do I have staying power? I've blogged less than 300 posts since I started this particular blog with Pomegranate back in 2008. Granted I have over 400 blogs on my blog that I started back in 2006, but I haven't written in it much over the past nine months. In fact, I've only written 7 blogs on that particular blog this year.

So, I'm not sure and I don't know what to do. I'm not that funny or witty. Though I try. I am not the smartest pumpkin in the patch, but damn it I have worked hard to attain the knowledge that I have. Where does that leave this cute little random mess of a blog? I'm not certain.

Maybe I need to find a general theme? Maybe I should curb the desire to discuss anything and everything that comes to mind? Maybe I should stop attempting to have serial blogs (Country of the week, song of the day, ugly shoe of the week, etc.) and just stick with the random? Or maybe I should just stick to what I know and not try to learn anything new or branch out.

I want to be a better writer. I want to blog about everything that I find interesting, everything that pisses me off, everything that made my day and things that I didn't know, but discovered by being random. But am I going about this all the wrong way?

Quote of the Night

Me (to Jamal): If I hadn't gotten married, you still wouldn't have your money.
Pomme: There you go, Jamal, let's get married so we can get money.
Jamal: O.O
Me: *falls to the floor laughing my ass off*

Donnie, Ladies and Gentlemen

Donnie quote of the evening:

"I have a PhD in Trollogy from the University of U MAD."

A Dangerous Method

I love Keira Knightley. I think she is gorgeous and talented. And did I mention gorgeous? Have I said that before? I think I have. Of course, how can you resist that gorgeous woman right there?



Anywho, Keira is going to be in a new movie in November and I can't wait to see it! This movie is titled "A Dangerous Method" and it also stars Viggo Mortensen (Lord of the Rings, Hidalgo), Michael Fassbender (Fable III, Inglorious Basterds) and Vincent Cassel (Eastern Promises, Black Swan).

It is based on some letters and diaries left behind by Carl Jung's first official patient, Sabina Spielrein, who also became his lover and apparently, student. Not only this, but it also shows the intense relationship between Jung and his mentor, Sigmund Freud.

Part of the reason I'm excited about this is not only because I love Keira, but also because I love Viggo and Vincent Cassel. Vincent Cassel was brilliant in Black Swan (which I'll have to blog about some time as well!), as well as being intensely creepy in Eastern Promises (which also starred Viggo Mortensen). And don't even get me started on Viggo! I love, love, love Viggo Mortensen! He is great (aside from him always having to be naked)!

Not only all that, but fun fact, Michael Fassbender played the voice of Logan in Fable III! Great game, btw, Fable III.

So, because I'm a huge fan of Keira and Viggo (and Vincent!) I am excited about this movie. Not only that, but it also looks nifty! Well, okay, nifty to me because I have an interest in psychoanalysis and the ideas of Freud and Jung. Freud more so, since most (if not all) of his theories have been debunked in recent years.

The Trailer!

The Burkinabé Song of the Day!

As part of Burkina Faso Week, here is a song by a Burkinabé student who goes by DuGhetto. The video is in French (as that is the official language of Burkina Faso) and it is a rap. There is a lot of social commentary in this video, a lot of it having to do with race and politics. As far as rap goes, it isn't the worst I've ever heard.

My Wedding

I'm assuming some of you are probably a little shocked by my recent announcement that I had finally married my boyfriend of 3 years, Donnie. Don't worry, you weren't the only one.

In July, Donnie and I decided that we were done waiting. We had been engaged a year and five months by this time. We are poor and we knew that if we waited until we had the money to have the wedding we wanted (okay, the wedding I wanted) we were going to be waiting a long time. That's when we decided, let's get married this year and then save up for the wedding we wanted (the one I wanted), that way there is no pressure. We're already married. We can take our time and not worry about it.

With this in mind we went ahead with our original date of September 1st and moved it up to 2011 rather than 2012. The rest is, as they say, history.

So we did it, we had a wedding at the courthouse with a judge. We had a little reception at a church just down the street from the courthouse. We ate and laughed. Kid and L.E.D. wrote on my new (well, new to me) van. And we honeymooned at a hotel for a couple days.

Unfortunately we both got a little sick. I blame it on the excitement and too much sugar. We spent most of our honeymoon eating (food is good!) and watching cartoons. We particularly enjoyed the random Spongebob Squarepants marathon they were having. We talked and we snuggled. We marveled at our new married status.

It may not have been the honeymoon we both originally envisioned, but it was good enough, because we spent it together. In the end that is really all that matters.

So, thank you, readers and family and friends. Thanks to all those that stood up with us as we made this decision.

Here's to a lifetime with the man I love.

Landlocked

This week's country is Burkina Faso (also known as Burkina) and is brought to you by the letter B and the number 4 (ha ha, Sesame Street references are awesome). It is also a completely landlocked (being that it is completely surrounded by land) country on the African continent. It is surrounded by Niger, Mali, Ghana, Togo, Benin and Côte d'Ivoire (also known as the Ivory Coast).

The official language of Burkina Faso is French, though More, Gourma, Fulfulde, Dioula and Tamasheq are also spoken. Fun fact, I have never heard of those languages.



Deviating slightly from what I did with Albania's first blog, I am going to post some pictures Burkina Faso's landscape and architecture. I'll also post some random facts in-between pictures.



Burkina Faso has a Republican Government, meaning that they are a Republic, not that they are strictly voting Republican.



Burkina Faso won its independence in 1960.



The capital of Burkina Faso is Ougadougou, and I have no clue how one would go about pronouncing that... Just sayin'.



The Musée de Manega was established by Frédéric Pacéré Titinga. It features a random collection (if you will) of pieces important to the history and culture of Burkina Faso. These pieces include funerary pieces (the Boura Flutes), terracotta jars, bracelets and various others which were used for rituals.



There is no official state religion in Burkina Faso. Islam, Christianity and indigenous religions are the most practiced. If I was the Burkina Faso government, I would be most proud of their religious freedom. They take this particular freedom very seriously. It seems to be better under control than other countries, like the USA for example.



Burkina Faso's independence day is celebrated August 5th (That's when Donnie and I started dating).

Married Lady, That's Me!

Hello all those in blog land!

Thursday at 1:00pm, I married the love of my life, Donnie. We are very happy and excited to be newlyweds! Will blog more about the experience later!

love,
Sarai Smith ^_^