Ashes to Ashes

This is one of the most beautiful poems I've ever heard. And so true of our times.

Homosexuality, Bisexuality, Transgendered, Heterosexuality, these are WORDS. They do not define us. They separate only if you build your walls with them. If you say them like a curse, they may burn, but they don't have the staying power to set the world on fire.

If you let others define you, with their words and their hates, you never learn of the beauty that can be found in the ashes. Don't let the smoldering bones of those who have fought, clawed, raged and died be for nothing.

You are beautiful, even though you come from ashes. Your name isn't a forbidden word. Say it loud. Speak, scream, shout, be HEARD. Don't let them silence you. Don't let them steal your voice. Don't let the words destroy you.

Let the words slip over you, like water off of a duck's feathers. Use only beautiful words to build. And build bridges instead of walls.

Hermaphroditus

"Sleeping Borghese Hermaphroditus" at the Louvre Museum in France.

Historical/Mythological Note: Hermaphroditus was the child of Hermes and Aphrodite, the Goddess of Love and the God of War. He/She was a symbol of Bisexuality and Effeminacy. A beautiful woman with the genitals and vigor of a man. He/She was believed to bless marriages.

"But there are some who declare that such creatures of two sexes are monstrosities,"
-Diodorus Siculus; "Bibliotheca historica"

Whilst I was arguing Circumcision and "Rape Culture" with my brother, the topic of hermaphrodites came up. He asked me what I would do in that case (since I was clearly arguing against cutting my son in anyway that was unnecessary to his health and well-being), would I choose a gender for my child?

My answer was no. I would not pick a gender for my child. I would want them to be able to grow up, learn who they are, decide who THEY want to be, not who I want them to be.

He said there would be a stigma against my child. My child would be teased, bullied, harassed, etc. I came back with children make fun of, tease, bully and harass each other, genitals really won't change that. Even so, I still wouldn't change them.

There is too much up to chance in that situation. What if my child was meant to be a man and I opted for a vagina? What if the child was meant to be a woman and I opted for a penis? How is that fair? I've doomed my child to a life of wondering... A life of "who am I really?"

What right do I have to mutilate or change or erase my child's body? Is it my body?
What right do I have to alter what has been given to me? What right do I have to change one beautiful thing about a child born to me?

Who cares if they have one genitalia or another? Who cares if they are white or black or tan? Who cares if their eyes are blue or green? Who cares as long as they are HEALTHY? Who cares as long as they are HAPPY? Who am I to dictate what they do with THEIR body? To dictate WHO and WHAT they become?

When they are grown up, I would want them to say "My mother taught me to embrace who I am, with arms wide open. My mother taught me to embrace the different, the beautiful, the odd, the old and the young. My mother taught me to LOVE myself for WHO I am, not for what BODY I have. I am MORE than a body. I am MORE than a penis or a vagina. I am MORE than the names I was called. My mother let me decide WHO and WHAT I wanted to be. I choose who I am, not my mother."

The Cut

Recently I was linked to an article, posted on the website "Barrel of Oranges," about Rape. The title intrigued me, as I'm sure it would just about anyone (good on you, Barrel of Oranges!), because of the simplicity of it.

"Teaching my 2 year old how not to rape" is what it said. I was intrigued because of the idea behind it. The idea that we have to teach our children not to harm others. The idea that if we don't teach them not to harm, someone else will to teach them how to harm. The idea kind of blindsided me and I realized I had to read the article.

If you are interested in reading it for yourself here is the link:
http://barreloforanges.com/2013/03/24/teaching-my-2-year-old-how-not-to-rape/

Surprisingly, however, it wasn't her views on rape that astounded me. It was what I read about circumcision. She doesn't hide her opinion on the matter. Its right there in the first paragraph. It jolted me a bit, because I've never really thought about circumcision. At least, not as in depth as I did after reading a couple of her other posts on the topic.

I grew up in church. The majority of the people that know me (or have read a few of my rants) know this. I was taught that circumcision (of male genitalia) is required by God. I don't know why, actually. I never really understood why it mattered whether or not the foreskin was cut off of a man's junk. In fact, for the longest time I had NO idea what a foreskin even was. I had never seen an uncircumcised penis, actually. Not that I had seen very many penises at that time anyway.

But the Bible is FULL of verses on Circumcision and how men are to be circumcised. Even Abraham got circumcised at the ripe old age of ninety-nine (Genesis 17:24). What I do know is that God believed it was a valid part of a covenant between himself and Abraham (its been a while since I picked up my Bible). He even says so in Genesis. If you want specifics, chapter 17:10-11.

I've also always believed that circumcision was healthier for a man than remaining uncircumcised. Something that I discovered, upon researching, isn't entirely true. I thought that a man received more sexual pleasure if he was circumcised versus uncircumcised. However, circumcision comes down to aesthetics more than health and sexual pleasure. And, often times, it can be botched.

Now, if you had asked me about female circumcision I would've told you that it was genital mutilation. There is no aesthetic or enhanced sexual pleasure to female circumcision. It is purely to mutilate to the point that a woman no longer feels enjoyment or pleasure from sex, keeping her faithful to her husband. It is also so that a man remains "undisturbed" by the natural shape of a female sex, or her being "over-sexed." I remember being horrified as a kid reading an article on the topic by Waris Dirie, a Somalian actress and model, who had been "circumcised" at the tender age of five.

But the post by Barrel of Oranges made me think. It made me consider a few things.

Recently my god-daughter, who is 3, got a hold of a pair of scissors and cut off a decent portion of her hair (think Sinead O'Connor). Obviously, her mom was freaking out. This beautiful child, however, was not upset and told her mother that it was "perfect." I didn't "fight" with her mother, but I did tell her that if the child wants to cut off all her hair that is her right. It is HER body, not her mother's. She should be able to express herself however she wants. If she thinks she is beautiful, I want her to believe that. I want her to grow up believing that no matter what she is beautiful because she LOVES how she looks and fuck anyone who doesn't think so.

The belief that it is her body and that her mother shouldn't interfere is something I had never considered when it comes to circumcision.

The absence of a "no," doesn't automatically mean "yes."

Why would I cut off healthy, living, tissue from my son's penis just because I think circumcised is more attractive? He has no way of agreeing to this and I am doing irreparable damage to his body. Circumcision is permanent. I can't go back later and let him undo it. There is NO going back from that. And I would want my child to decide what they want. Not what I want.

My husband is circumcised. And yes, I prefer the look compared to uncircumcised. After reading up on it, doing some research and thinking very carefully about body rights, I have decided that if I ever had a son, I would never circumcise him. I would let him decide when he was old enough to understand what he was doing.

I had the audacity to ask an adult male (that I had a crush on) if he was "cut" or "uncut." I remember his being appalled at the idea of being "uncut." As if that was a disgusting thing. Why is a piece of flesh disgusting?

We can argue aesthetics all day long. I don't find penises particularly attractive to begin with, so it would be easy for me to say I prefer my husband's. It would be easy to say that the only other penis I have ever found attractive was Yul Brynner's and he was uncircumcised. Either can be beautiful. Either can be perfect. It is a matter of opinion.

What isn't up for debate, at least where I am concerned, is the ethics of it. Is it ethical to remove healthy tissue from a healthy penis without the consent of the patient? No matter how young? Is it ethical to alter someone else's body without their permission, just because they won't "remember" or because we find it more "aesthetically pleasing?" I don't think it is.

Let my child remain uncut. Let them decide when they are old enough to understand it. Let them decide what to do with their body. They only receive one in this lifetime and who am I to tell them what to do with it?

My question for my male friends/readers is this:
* What are your thoughts?
* Are you circumcised? Uncircumcised?
* If you are circumcised, do you wish you hadn't been? Are you comfortable as you are?
* If you are uncircumcised, do you wish you had been? Do you prefer being "uncut?"

A Girl named Anne.

Recently Justin Bieber has been in the news for a rather controversial note he wrote in the Anne Frank House's guest book. For those of you who have been unaware (lucky you!) here is what he wrote:

“Truly inspiring to be able to come here. Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a belieber.”

Now, my biggest problem isn't what he wrote (though we'll cover that in a moment). It is all of his fans asking "Who is Anne Frank?"

This outrages me. HOW can you NOT know who Anne Frank is/was? What are you being taught in school that you skipped over this important piece of history?

Here, let me enlighten you:
Anne Frank was a young girl living in Amsterdam during World War II. She was Jewish and her family hid from the Nazis in what Anne termed the "Secret Annex." She dreamed of being a writer and she kept a diary during her time in hiding. She, and her family, were discovered and taken to Bergen-Belsen (a concentration camp) where she, and her older sister Margot, most likely died of typhus. She was 15.

Her diaries were published 1947, by her father, Otto Frank. He was the only survivor of their family.

When I was about thirteen or so, my grandfather gave me "Anne Frank: The diary of a young girl" for Christmas. It was one of the most precious gifts he ever gave me. I was Anne's age (when she started her diary) at the time. I remember the impact it made on my life. My sadness that this bright light had been snuffed out so early in her life. My heart still aches whenever I think of this brilliant young woman who never had the chance to properly shine.

What angers me the most isn't Justin's comment, though it was uncouth in the situation, it is that so many young people have no idea who this beautiful young woman was. And they have no interest in finding out!

America is lacking in Education. We spend more on our weapons and our wars than we do our children. Prisoners get better educations than some of our children.

For example: The US ranks 14th in Reading, 25th in Maths and 17th in Science as compared to Finland (purported to have the best educational system in the world) which is ranked 2nd in Reading and Maths and 1st in Science. If you don't believe me you can have a look at the following chart created by PISA (Program for International Student Assessment) of the top 34 countries.



This isn't the only comment to outrage me lately (as to education).

As many of you know, I am a huge BioShock fan. Recently BioShock Infinite came out (a game I have waited a couple years for) and I was pleased with the historical details it went into.

A, somewhat, brief synopsis of the game: BioShock Infinite is much like its predecessors in that it covers different ways blind belief and -isms can destroy us. Unlike the previous two, we were not in Rapture. We are no longer in the world originally created around Andrew Ryan (Ayn Rand) and Objectivism (Ayn Rand's philosophy). We are in Columbia (not the country Columbia), a world in the sky and very much like America in 1912, partially because it is an extension of America.

There are a few historical battles mentioned in the game. Namely Wounded Knee and the Boxer Rebellion.

There was a comment that my husband found by someone who played the game. It said "BioShock makes the best Skyrim references" and had a picture of the Battle of Wounded Knee sign in the game. He was referring to the "I was an adventurer like you, but then I took an arrow to the knee" line said multiple times by various guards in Skyrim. He seemed blissfully unaware that there was a real event called the Battle of Wounded Knee.

I've said this before, I know I have, but if we don't learn from the past how are we to ever survive the future? How will our children make it in this world? What happens when we all stop learning, when we all stop reading? What happens? What happens when we forget young women like Anne Frank and battles like Wounded Knee? What happens when we no longer bother?

To Justin: Your comments were inconsiderate and uncouth. You didn't come across as being cute or witty. You came across as ignorant and proud. Too proud to realize how much of an ass you made yourself look like. Anne Frank wasn't your typical teenage girl. She probably wouldn't have floundered at your feet. If anything, I think she wouldn't have liked you at all. If you had read her diary maybe you would realize she wasn't into the whole self-appreciation crap.

I used to think you were funny Justin. I didn't like your music, but you were a cool kid. I hate the person you have become. You are so self-absorbed and rude. So proud and arrogant. I hope, one day, that you grow out of it.

Today in Boston

Today in Boston there were several explosions. I don't know all the details yet. What I do know is that there was one at the finish line of the Boston Marathon and that 2 people have been killed. There are stories going around saying that some of the marathoners continued to run all the way to the hospital so that they could immediately begin giving blood to the victims.

Cell phone service had been shut down. I don't know if it is up again.

A lot of people are saying this is a terrorist attack. I am unsure if that is true, or just the sensationalist media we have here. It is a tragedy nonetheless. And my thoughts are with those injured, dead and so on.

Will update as I know what is happening.

Stoplights are a Go.

I was on StumbleUpon (one of my favorite websites) and came across this concept for a new stoplight. I find the idea intriguing and think it would help with traffic quite a bit, because you'll know exactly how much time is being spent while at a stoplight.



The concept is simple as you can see. The hourglass shows how much 'sand' is left before the color changes. In the case of a yellow light it shows you how much time is left before you are either able to go or how much time you have to stop.

However, this thought on time swiftly followed the traffic lights leaving me wondering if traffic lights that show how time runs out would be a good idea after all?



I can't imagine life without time. I can't imagine not having an i-phone or a clock or a computer somewhere near by to tell me what time of day it is. What did our ancestors do before they began marking the passing of time with sundials? Did they worry over all the things we worry over now? Did they imagine their time, their lives, slipping like sand through a vast hourglass, slowly disappearing?

We have a tendency to see time as a finite thing. A thing that ends. And it does, in a sense. For all of us the clock will eventually cease to tick, the sand cease to fall, the sun cease to set. We end, therefore, for us, time ends.

Time however is immeasurable. It is like taffy, pulled out into endless ropes of forever. It pulls further and further. We do not have the capability to even begin to comprehend the infinite amount of time there is stretching out before us. Yawning out like a black chasm, an endlessly long tunnel.

I think that makes it scary. Time will go on. Life will go on. We won't. We will end. Everything ends. But even after everything is gone, there will still be time. In the abyss of everything there will always be time.

A Fool, A Day

I should know better than to argue with fools. Especially on the day of Fools. Does this day give them super powers or just make them EXTRA stupid? Just curious.

If being Liberal is wrong, then I willingly embrace it. Last I checked believing in the Freedom of the Individual didn't make me a Satanist or a Liberal Pig. It made me a human being!

Why do we put labels on ourselves? Why do we feel the need to do that? It makes no sense to me. We are all HUMAN. What labels are needed? What does it matter what I believe and what I don't?

I'm not sorry that I believe in Equal Rights and I don't understand how that makes me wicked.

I'm not sorry that I believe EVERYONE should have the right to Health Care, Education, Marriage, Religion, etc. And I don't understand how that can be so wrong. I don't think I'll ever understand. I don't think I WANT to understand. I want to continue believing in what I believe is right.

I see nothing wrong with being who you are in the supposed "Land of the Free." You know, the one that says I have the right to LIFE, LIBERTY and the Pursuit of HAPPINESS?