In 10 days I'm turning 26. This seems, both, improbable and absolutely real. I've never been bothered by getting older. In fact, I rather relish the idea of being 30. Though, that will be a few more years.
I suppose that it feels improbable only because I feel like I've been older than I am for the majority of my existence. It seems odd to me to be growing older.
Children that I used to baby-sit, that I used to change their diapers, are getting their driver's licenses and learner's permits. They're graduating high school and getting ready for college. And I'm sitting here marveling at the passing of time.
As a child, I never thought time could go fast. Its adorable how very wrong I was.
In many ways I feel like an old woman of 73 or 75, blowing out the candles of my life in slow breathy gulps. I am absolutely exhausted with this life. A few more candles and it will all be done. Right?
I am absolutely humbled by the passing of time. The parts of me that are not the old woman, are young children chasing the butterflies of dream and fantasy. And yet, there is a part that is the age I am now, anxious for a life filled with... Something.
Its very confusing, existing in this body sometimes.
I am 6 parts old woman, 3 parts young girl and 1 part myself. Naivete and wisdom, trembling on the prospect of all the candles flickering out.
I feel like a loose end. Not sure how I am to tie myself up.
So, I guess I'll raise a glass of champagne, toast myself to another 26 years on this crumbling carcass of an earth and drink 'til the bubbles erase all the random puzzle pieces tumbling about in my Dali landscape of a brain.
I suppose that it feels improbable only because I feel like I've been older than I am for the majority of my existence. It seems odd to me to be growing older.
Children that I used to baby-sit, that I used to change their diapers, are getting their driver's licenses and learner's permits. They're graduating high school and getting ready for college. And I'm sitting here marveling at the passing of time.
As a child, I never thought time could go fast. Its adorable how very wrong I was.
In many ways I feel like an old woman of 73 or 75, blowing out the candles of my life in slow breathy gulps. I am absolutely exhausted with this life. A few more candles and it will all be done. Right?
I am absolutely humbled by the passing of time. The parts of me that are not the old woman, are young children chasing the butterflies of dream and fantasy. And yet, there is a part that is the age I am now, anxious for a life filled with... Something.
Its very confusing, existing in this body sometimes.
I am 6 parts old woman, 3 parts young girl and 1 part myself. Naivete and wisdom, trembling on the prospect of all the candles flickering out.
I feel like a loose end. Not sure how I am to tie myself up.
So, I guess I'll raise a glass of champagne, toast myself to another 26 years on this crumbling carcass of an earth and drink 'til the bubbles erase all the random puzzle pieces tumbling about in my Dali landscape of a brain.
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