The Lion and the Unicorn

Because I am silly and random and weird (all things EVERYONE should've known by now), I have decided to write my own Korean Drama. Yep, that's right, I'm going into K-Dramas! ^__^

So far I have figured out my main plot, who I want to play my main characters and the title. So far that is it. I need Korean names and I need to START the thing.

The title: The Lion and the Unicorn (because of the poem "The Lion and the Unicorn,"

"The lion and the unicorn were fighting for the crown
The lion beat the unicorn all around the town.
Some gave them white bread, and some gave them brown;
Some gave them plum cake and drummed them out of town." Which has to do with the English Coat of Arms and can be found in Lewis Carroll's "Alice Through the Looking Glass.")

The Characters:

The Lion

Park Han Byul

The Unicorn

Park Shin Hye

The Jester

Lee Jun Ki

The Prince

Jang Geun Suk

The Witch

Jun Ji Hyun

The plot (so far) is as follows:

Two sisters (the Lion and the Unicorn) fall in love with the same guy (the Prince). The oldest sister (the Lion) is evil (or is she?) whilst the younger (the Unicorn) is weak and not the brightest bulb in the box (or is she?). In the meantime another guy (the Jester) is being blackmailed into being with another girl (the Witch), but is in love with the younger sister. It's a case of bad first impressions, sisterly love (and hate), true love and all in a modern day fairy tale setting.

That's all I have for now, however, I'll be sure to post as soon as I have a scene or two going! Stay tuned!

A ramble with Fawn

Me: I am standing next to a Jillian Michaels display and all I keep thinking about is her face buried in pussy. Is that weird?

Fawn: Well she is a lesbian for one and two she's ugly. Though I wouldn't mind having her body from the neck down. Just not her ugly mug.

Me: I kind of like her face.

Fawn: I think she is ugly.

Me: Too each their own? She does have pretty eyes and lips. And I want her boobs.

Fawn: From the neck down everything is fine.

Me: Yeah. I'd fuck her.

A few moments later

Me: My hands smell like scrotum. I haven't even played with balls today! O.o

Fawn: Yeah because everyone should handle someone elses balls at least once a day, twice if it's with a stranger on a train, plane or in a taxi.

Me: Exactly!

A few more moments later

Me: So I'm thinking of opening a haberdashery.

Fawn: You say that as I'm sitting here drawing some dress designs.

Me: Nice! See, it's meant to be. Plus, ___________ has a severe lack of good old fashioned haberdasheries anyway.

Fawn: Hahaha you sell buttons and zippers and fabric and thread and I'll sell shoes, handbags, jewelry and clothing.

Me: And hats too!

Fawn: Yeah! I'm actually seriously thinking about fashion design.

Me: Okay! Let's do it!! :)

Fawn: Haha you say this and you don't even know if you like my designs.

Me: Well I figure I'll have some designs too. :D We'll offset each other.

A few more moments later

Me: I've had 8 Jillian Michaels starring at me all day and it is starting to creep me out. Also, sexual subliminal messaging. "Eat this product and this blonde girl will suck your dick." I'm taking a picture when I get off work.

And here are the pictures!

Does she seem a little overly excited about that protein bar or is it just me?



Too many!! It gets disconcerting after four or five hours...

The Velvet Goldmine

When I was younger I used to babysit my cousins all the time. I didn't mind this because I could watch what I wanted on TV after they went to sleep and I had an available assortment of snacks and what not at my Aunt's. It is on one such evening of babysitting that I discovered a movie called "Velvet Goldmine."

I didn't actually watch the whole thing at the time. Just bits and pieces of it. I couldn't get into it and, admittedly, the only reason I watched it was for promised sex scenes. I was approximately sixteen so I hadn't really figured sex out just yet. I was, however, overtly curious.







The other day I was thinking about it, out of nowhere mind you, and I decided to procure a copy of it. And the other night I watched the whole thing. THE WHOLE THING.

Worst decision ever, mind you. I stayed up until after 1AM watching a movie that I really had a hard time getting into. And it wasn't that good of a movie. Personally speaking of course.

There are a few things I have figured out from this film:
1. Lady Gaga is just a copy of Brian Slade/Maxwell Demon
2. Jeffree Starr is a poor imitation of Jack Fairy.
3. Jonathan Rhys Meyers looks like Fawn when he has longer reddish hair...

The story revolves around Brian Slade, a bisexual glam-rocker in the 70's loosely based on David Bowie's Ziggy Stardust; Arthur Stuart, a British journalist, closeted homosexual and glam-rock fan; and Curt Wild, a garage band singer on the edge. Also starring: copious amounts of Homosexual and Heterosexual sex and Ewan McGregor's penis.

Of course there are a few other intriguing characters such as Mandy Slade (played by Toni Collette) and Jerry Divine (played by my favorite comedian Eddie Izzard!). But they aren't nearly as interesting as the main characters.

Overall, I didn't like the film. I didn't like how they filmed it, though it renewed my appreciation of nude Ewan McGregor and Jonathan Rhys Meyers as a whole... But that was it.

If you read the synopsis of the film it actually sounds really interesting and very psychedelic. Which it is very psychedelic. But not really in a good way.

The lines purloined from Oscar Wilde are thrown in haphazardly, dialogue is practically non-existent. The music isn't very good. The whole thing felt like it was trying really hard to be deep and intense. It came off as being faker than fake.

On a scale of 10, I would rate this a 2. Ewan's penis is about the only thing that made this for me. That and Jonathan Rhys Meyers.

Welcome to the Deluge

Things have been a little crazy recently, due to work and trying to have a personal life (which is still mostly non-existent by the way). I was working a lot. Emphasis on WAS.

Today I am going to work on my resume, have lunch with my husband, watch my brother perform in the cursed Scottish play, pay my car insurance, listen to music, read and talk to Fawn. Sounds like a busy day for me!

Anywho, into the fray of this day I would like to interject this song.

I love it. The whole thing. The song, the video, the singer. It is a gorgeously done video.

Cocoon by Alpines

Do You Ever Wonder?

So I am on a Gotye kick right now. Don't know why, but it happened so innocently. I was listening to a song by VAST called "Pretty When You Cry" and then I started thinking about a song by Gotye I had been meaning to listen to that I hadn't. Next thing you know I found this song called "Wonder Why You Want Her." It is surreal. It is deep. It is sexually charged. And it kind of makes me think of Fawn. Don't know why. Well, except that Fawn and I are girlfriends maybe... Could that be the tenuous link?

At any rate, it is a great song. Deep, sexually surreal and I love it. And I love Fawn. That's all.

To Do or Not...

Okay, as some of you know, I am on Twitter (@wicked_roses). One of the people I follow on there is Gackt (no, duh!). It just so happens that he (he is a God, have I mentioned this?) has his e-mail up there... I may or may not have mentioned it in a blog convo I had with Fawny Fawn. Anyway, I really, REALLY, want to e-mail him. I don't know what the hell I'd say or do if he, heaven forbid, actually wrote me back. (The President did it, so maybe he would too?)

I just want to do it. Just for the sake of doing it. To say, "I e-mailed Gackt Camui. For shits and giggles."

He wouldn't have enough time to read my e-mail, I'm sure. And it would probably be read by someone who wasn't Gackt, anyway.

Of course, there is still the problem of what would I say?

"Hey, Gackt, You are amazing! And I'm a little in love with you... like at least half of the female population that knows of your existence."

"Hey, Gackt, I wrote a poem about you with references to various songs by you in it... Thought you might like to read it. Maybe."

"Hey, Gackt, I fucking loved your movie 'Moon Child' with Hyde. Would you consider making a sequel?"

"You want my second virginity?"

"You were the Japanese version of Tin Man in my J-Rock Wizard of Oz, you should read it. You may want to try it sometime. With Miyavi and Yoshiki. And maybe me... and Pomme of course..."

"I just want to meet you."

"I promise I'm not a creepy stalker!"

"Can I have a job as your maid? I could do your laundry, wash your dishes, vacuum, etc."

Oh my god, I'm fucking pitiful...

Webcam Anyone?

Sarai - *sends picture of a beautiful bathroom* Do want! *after a moment of silence* And you are ignoring me. :( I will cry Fawn. CRY! As in shed drops of saline! Or masturbate. Whatever works.

Fawn - I'm not ignoring you I was looking at the picture and trying to dress Mid-- Did you just say you'll masturbate... pictures or it never happened... <.< ... >.>

Sarai - I have a webcam...

Fawn - *dead*

Crisps or Crispy?

Fawn - I don't even know how to use Twitter to be absolutely honest.

Sarai - I don't either. I just go with it. lol. Its like status updates, except smaller. So just type some shit. Make it up. lol. You have to tell me how I get all these people to follow me lol. And I bought Gackt's movie. Bunraku. haven't watched it yet. Why does he have his e-mail on his twitter?

Fawn - Hahaha really?

Sarai - Yes. lol

Fawn - Because he's a silly bastard.

Sarai - I want to e-mail him now... >.>
<.< ... >.> Its not stalking if I only e-mail him once, right?
>.>

Fawn - Yes. I know you woman rofl! It's like Pringles, you can't just stop at one...
Did I seriously just compare G to a crisp...

Sarai - That's true!! But dammit he is so fucking tasty looking...

Fawn - What the fuck rofl!

Sarai - Yes you did! HONEY MUSTARD HONEYBLADE!! :D I mean pringles lol. totally pringles

Fawn - ROFLMMFAO!

Thanksgiving will never be the same again.

Facebook is a strange place. However there is a fun thing that I just decided to do at random and the resulting conversation occurred.

It's THANKSGIVING time!!! How Dysfunctional is YOUR Dinner???
Go to your profile and put in the first 10 people on the left...NO CHEATING!!! (I cheated :P I knew who it was going to be when I went looking for it!)

Forgot the Turkey: Brooke T.
Burns the Dressing: Jennifer H.
Drops the Potato Salad: Megan M.
Eats all the Pecan Pie before Anybody Else gets Any: Melissa H.
Spills Red Wine All Over Your White Tablecloth: Cassie C.
Brings a "Surprise Guest" Nobody was Expecting: Kyle M.
Gets Mad & Leaves in the Middle of Dinner: Fawny
Starts Crying Over Something Silly: Samantha B.
Forgets to Show Up at All: Saira J.

Comments:

Fawn: YEAH! FUCK THANKSGIVING! ROFLMMFAO!

Pom Pomme Pomegranate: To be fair I think any thanksgiving is going to be strange with Sarai and Fawn! LOL

Brooke T: I don't think I'd forget the turkey, I think I would just bring a ham instead... lol

Fawn: Bringing pork products to the table is what makes me get angry and leave! ;)

Pomme: lol

Me: There we are. We've figured out a coherent story for this.

Pomme: ‎:P umm I am posting what you all just said on my status.

Me: Nice, Pomme, nice~

Brooke: now we just need to figure out how to bring unicorns into this and it'll be the perfect dysfunctional thanksgiving

Me: Agreed. Um, Joe N. is the surprise guest, even though Kyle M. has no clue who he is and by his awesomeness Joe has unicorns. Problem solved.

Fawn: No... Japanese boys pretending to be girls, pretending to be boys, pretending to be girls, riding those unicorns, and it would be a PERFECT Thanksgiving, I'd be thankful for that... 1 wish, and Aoi in front of me, what's more perfect than that?

Me: Oh my.... That's why you get mad too. Unicorns no longer grant wishes...

Pomme: O_O now I am scared...

Fawn: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Aw well, fuck the wish, and fuck Aoi... right on the Thanksgiving table... <.< ... >.>

Pomme: there there Fawny~ (before she realizes what Fawn just said...) OMO~ I DIDN'T NEED TO SEE THAT!

Me: Oh my... I think Thanksgiving is canceled.

Fawn: ROFLMMFAO!!!!!

Pomme: Well we are having thanksgiving we are just not letting Aoi come~~

Me: THAT WAS AWFUL WORDING ON YOUR PART!!! (BTW, Brooke, I'm sorry lol)

Pomme: OMG~ SERIOUSLY I DIDN'T MEAN IT THAT WAY! *dies*

Fawn: ROFLMMFAO!!!! OH MY GOD I'M DYING OF LAUGHTER, AND MY GAMING PARTY IS WONDERING WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!!!!

Me: Her and her transvestite barbarian.

Brooke: the whole time I read this conversation, I thought: HAPPY THANKSGIVING! XD

Fawn: DAMN STRAIGHT! My transvestite barbarian is sexy.

Me: Thanksgiving will never be the same again.

Pomme: OMO~ *Dies* Yes to some it is a very happy thanksgiving~ LOL NEVER~~ I don't even know how I am going to eat with my family now. lol

Fawn: Err... guys... Aoi and I kind of ruined the food... anyone in the mood for takeout?

Me: Why, Fawn, why?!

Pomme: O_O ya know... I think I am no longer hungry..... *Cries self to sleep*

Fawn: *dies of laughter* Oh that was fun. Until next year.

Pomme: LOL OH thanksgiving will never be forgotten. LOL My moms are some crazy people~

Brooke: good God PLEASE don't ruin my Christmas

Pomme: LOL!!!!! I am with Brooke!

Fawn: Oh an encore at Christmas sounds devine...

Pomme: PRAY FOR SNOW!!!! SO THEY CAN BE SNOWED IN!!!!

Brooke: but not with us... lol

Fawn: Snow makes for a chilly Christmas orgy...

Pomme: LOL THAT IS TRUE!!! NEVERMIND NO SNOW!! I don't want them snowed in with us! LOL

Fawn: Saga will see it, he will tell Ruki, and Ruki will tell Aoi... and I will get emails rofl!!!

Brooke: never again will I be able to have an innocent Christmas dinner at my grandmother's

Fawn: Grandma is not invited to my orgy damn it... that would just be weird...

Pomme: I don't want to be there either you guys are my mothers!!!! *cries* AND OMO I wish I would have known he would see this!!! No one involve the damn Tiger! OKAY!

Brooke: Hmm....I'm afraid if I go to sleep now then I'll have some jacked-up nightmares

Pomme: Brooke I am scared too~

Fawn: Honey if Saga sees it, Tora will hear about it lol.

Pomme: Great if they ever meet us they are going to think we are all fucked up~ Thanks Fawn!

Fawn: You're welcome. ^______^V

Pomme: YOu love us so much~~ I can tell

Fawn: I do, hence I invited you to the orgy, what kind of parent would I be if I hadn't? :D

Pomme: ‎*head on desk*

A Bear-y Text

Bear: So, I think you should slather some honey all over you tonight.

Me: Why should I do that?

Bear: Because it will give your skin some extra moisture and... stuff?

Me: Or is it because you think I'll taste better with honey?

Bear: What?! What are you accusing me of?!

Me: I don't know, being an omnivore who might decide to feed its omnivorous nature by consuming my all too tender flesh slathered in "moisturizing" honey?

Bear: That's just insulting! Why would I suggest you slather yourself in delicious and delectable honey only so that I could then devour your mouthwatering-ly (is that a word?) sensationally moisturized flesh? I may be an omnivore, but I have standards.

Me: Are you insulting my flesh? Are you saying that I am not tasty enough for you? Is that what this is about?!

Bear: No! You are taking this all the wrong way! I'm just suggesting that you moisturize! It is good for your skin and good for your sense of well-being. Jesus, you'd think I was insulting your deliciousness or something!

Me: I think as soon as I have my back turned you are going to maul me and then slather me in honey and eat me. I can practically see you salivating from here! Also, is it cannibalism if you eat me, since you are a sentient bear? Doesn't that make you kind of close to human?

Bear: ...

Me: Nothing to say?

Bear: ...

Me: Hello? Are you still there?

Bear: ...

Me: Fine, if you're going to be a cub about things...

Bear: (suddenly behind me: screams) OM NOM NOM!!!

Me: (drops phone in a state of panic and flees)

Bear: (starts laughing hysterically and departs with my cell phone to wreck his terrible sense of humor on others)

---
This blog was inspired by Kyle M. I hope you are happy Kyle. I blogged about bears.
This is also partially inspired by the following blog post by Fawn (http://namonakimichi.blogspot.com/2011/08/oh-my-fuck-fawn.html) about a girl whose mother listened to her get eaten by a bear.

Dali's Jewels

Last December I went with Fawn and Trent to a Salvador Dali exhibit. All three of us are huge Dali fans (Surrealism being something I hold near and dear to my heart) so we were incredibly excited.

What I didn't know about Dali was that he also created surrealist jewelry. Including my favorite piece:

The fully articulated Starfish Brooch.


Not only is this a fully articulated Starfish (as in it was designed to be able to wrap around your hand/wrist), but it is made with a stunningly huge pearl, rubies, emeralds and diamonds for a one of a kind gorgeous piece. I've never seen such a beautiful starfish.

This is my favorite piece for a multitude of reasons, but mostly because even though it is completely made from jewels it manages to not be gaudy and ridiculous looking. Plus it is able to be moved and wrapped however you may want. A famous actress once wore this piece, provocatively, on her breast.

This is a drawing of the design and the articulation of the brooch as done by Dali.


In my search of Dali Jewelry, I discovered this piece by one Elsa Schiaperelli.


This lobster brooch is definitely Dali-esque in my mind. Not only in its relation to the sea (as the Starfish), but in its simplistically complex and beautifully realized design. It is the concept of creating beauty out of something that is generally disregarded by the public as common place and ugly that most attracts me. Personally. And, as it turns out, Ms. Schiaperelli was a fan of Dali's surrealism, which may or may not have inspired her to create this particular piece.

Whilst looking at some other pieces by Ms. Schiaperelli, I discovered these Leopard Skin Booties. If they weren't real leopard skin (which I don't believe they are) I would actually considering wear this particular pair. If only because I think of them as simplistically designed. I like simple.


And, because the internet is a strange place and I started thinking about other types of jewelry and beautiful things, here is a delicate piece by Fabrege, creator of Fabrege eggs.


He, too, apparently found under sea life worthy of jewelry pieces as you can see from this Sea Horse.


While we are talking about Fabrege, what is it about Fabrege's eggs that makes them so beautiful? What is it about Eggs themselves that makes them beautiful? I don't really understand it myself, but every since I was young I've loved things that were egg shaped. I have a little glass jewelry egg decorated with painted roses that holds my change. I have a little egg shaped perfume bottle that my Aunt Peggy gave me when I was 10 or so. Well, for that matter I have a pineapple shaped perfume bottle she gave me too, but that has nothing to do with eggs.

Maybe, for me, it just goes back to the simplicity of it. Or maybe it goes back to how we all come from some type of egg and the beginning of life? For whatever reason, eggs are beautiful.


This particular egg is Jade. One of my favorite precious stones. Except that I prefer White Jade.


I don't know why I like this one. Except that I think it is pretty.


I am done rambling for the moment. I'm starting to get tired and I think it is nap time for this blogger. I hope you enjoyed my randomness on jewelry, sea creatures and eggs. I'm off to try to get "Jack Sparrow" by the Lonely Island feat. Michael Bolton out of my head.

Sarai's Crazy Texts

My friends and I have some very odd conversations, text wise. Some we have in person, but they aren't always as hilarious. So, for your viewing pleasure here are some of the crazy texts my friends and I have had.

Me: Communist.
11:27PM Thu, 13 January

My Brother: Liberal :P
12:27AM Fri, 14 January

~

K: You only get married once (hypothetically) lol. If a wedding isn't something that is important to you, I say go for it. BUT!!! If even a fraction of you wants a wedding, big or small, I would wait. You could end up resenting your spouse later on, ruining your marriage and causing you to join the circus. I've seen it a hundred times. Also: I happen to be a great wedding singer. I do all Whitney Houston songs, and my rate is low.
12:23PM Thu, 14 July

Me: Well the thinking is that we get married @ the courthouse, then save for a real wedding later on. Also, joining the circus doesn't seem so bad.
12:29PM Thu, 14 July

Me: You are a wedding singer?
12:30PM

K: Ahhh well that doesn't sound too bad. Provided you're ready to be married. Never rush into a decision you have your entire life to make. Am I a wedding singer?
Inside: yes.
Professionally: no.
Your wedding would be my debut.
12:36PM

Me: Whitney Houston is your specialty? I don't think we are rushing. We will have been together 3 years by our chosen wedding date. We've been engaged a year.
12:45PM

K: Yes. I feel like Whitney really gets me. Then I say go for it! Just remember to send me an invitation!
12:48PM

Me: You're wanting to sing at the Monroe County Courthouse on September 1st? Lol.
12:51PM

K: No no.. At a real wedding.
1:03PM

Me: Lol. I know, I was teasing. I will send you an invite someday. I am sure that you will receive many invitations to sing after your debut.
1:07PM

K: Thats a given.
1:08PM

~

Phil: Hi parch i mean sarai
9:00PM Thu, 13 January

~

Me: Are you working tomorrow?
1:29PM Thu, 14 July

K: Yessum.
1:29PM

Me: I work as well. 2 - 6. POS in fact. I am taking a shift for H. Is he okay? He has been acting strangely. He seemed really down yesterday.
1:33PM

K: No idea. He was over here the other night. Maybe he's pregnant.
1:33PM

Me: That's true. He has been eating a lot of pickles and ice cream.
1:34PM

~

Phil: chicken butt sex!!! omg!
2:15PM Sat, 29 January

~

K: What is her number again?
10:09PM Wed, 10 August

Me: Why do you always lose her number?
10:55PM Wed, 10 August

K: Hahaha i just never save it.
11:13PM

Me: Silly goose.
11:14PM

K: If I am a bird, I would be an owl. Or an eagle. Or a wolf!!! Muahahaha!
11:19PM

Me: Wolves are not birds!
11:20PM

K: I know.. I got carried away.
11:21PM

Me: Noticed. At least you aren't an acid spraying honey badger?
11:23PM

K: Indeed. Badgers are rude.
11:27PM

Me: Quite.
11:29PM

~

Phil: Anything exciting happening today?
2:00PM Sun, 13 February

Me: The entire state decided to divorce Illinois and move back to live with its mother Montana. Other than that no.
2:04PM Sun, 13 February

~

Fawn: The highlight of my night. Trent reading porn titles off the TV. We are laughing hysterically...
12:36AM Tue, 29 March

~

K: Twainism is a religion I would follow without hesitation.
8:31 PM Mon, 02 May

~

Zach: God, your such a tease:p
10:50PM Fri, 03 June

~

Me: K. I am drunk texting you. Lol
10:40PM Fri, 15 April

Me: I love alcohol. Tee hee
10:48PM

K: I love you.
10:54PM

~

SJ: Hows it hanging ?
9:55PM Wed, 09 March

Me: Free and happy?
9:56PM Wed, 09 March

SJ: Lol tell donny I said to put some pants on
9:56PM

Searching through...

Whilst searching through blogs here on Blogger, I discovered this one particular blog (through yet another blog) called "White and Delightsome." This blog is dedicated to "Awkward and peculiar Mormon erotica." I'm so not joking! There is literally this woman who posts blogs revolving around Mormon Erotica. Holy snickerdoodles, Batman!

I read the first few blogs and realized that my life hadn't been complete up until now. I never knew something this hilarious could ever exist!! Not only is it over the top writing (everything I read was filled with "heaving bosoms"), but it is hilarious with all kinds of references to the Mormon church and its leadership.

Also, there is definitely a reference to a rather racist view the Mormons have, though she doesn't say it overtly. It doesn't take much to realize the connection there.

"White and Delightsome."
"The Way a Woman should Be." Apparently women are only supposed to be White and "Delightsome", whatever the hell that means. I think she meant Delightful.

So here you are, the link to this gloriously hilarious and awkward blog involving sex and Mormons.
http://whiteanddelightsome.com/

This really makes me think of "Orgazmo", a 1997 movie that Fawn forced me to watch when I lived with her a couple years ago. Rather than try and explain it to you, here is the trailer for this wonderful movie about Mormons and Porn.



STUNT COCK!!

The Randomness

My Questions are as follows (along with my answers):
1. Where do you stand on the proverbial political fence?
Somewhere to the East?

2. What kinds of drinks do you like when you are hot and sweaty?
Anything soda-y.

3. If purple were a number what would it be?
2,382.

4. Your karma ran over my dogma, response?
There goes my good karma...

5. If a yellow train is traveling at twenty-five miles per hour on a blue track what color is the engineer's underwear?
He isn't wearing any.

6. Who invented Swiss Cheese?
The emperor of Japan.

7. If you could do anything in the world, without the limits of time, money, etc. what would it be?
Read every book on my list, lose weight, become that famous movie star I wanted to be and kiss the hell out of Gackt and Wentworth Miller!

8. Roses are white, violets are?
Burgundy.

9. What is your favorite book?
Exquisite Corpse by Poppy Z. Brite

10. If you could live to be 101 1/2 what would you like to say on your death bed?
Damn, I am old!

It seems to me that the most common answer for #5 was green. I'm not quite sure how people came up with Green, but they did. *shrug*

Donnie's Answers
1. I can't stand on a proverb.

2. Semen in a can.

3. Purple.

4. Bitch had it comin'?

5. Yes.

6. Sir Swiss.

7. Um, fondle every pair of breasts on earth.

8. Probably violet.

9. No H's Picture Book of Wood.

10. I told you I was sick.

Fawn's Answers
1. On top of Trent on top of the pole. (Trent: We call it the pole position!)

2. Donnie's Semen in a can. (Fawn: Chai, dammit, Chai!)

3. Sexy. (Sarai: You know, you people don't understand the concept of numbers. Just sayin'.)

4. (Trent barks) Yeah, what he said.

5. Its the color Kurosawa. (Trent: Brown. From SHIT!)

6. Jesus invented it. (Sarai: Jesus invented Swiss Cheese?)

7. I'd grow three new arms and three new legs to go with the two I've got. (Trent: Because if you had three more of each you might have two that worked?)

8. Sex deprived? (No comment)

9. That book by Christian Humber... (Donnie: Oh yeah, I should've said "Christian Humber Reloaded"!)

10. Damn, my diaper is full. (Sarai: Oh my...)

Trent's answers
1) On a post, because the fence is too narrow.

2) The kind of drink that quenches thirst. (Sarai: Smart ass...)

3) Orange

4) It was in the road and needed killin'.

5) Vodka

6) The Pope

7) Give every woman huge boobs. Think Aegis.

8) Still Blue.

9) The Twilight Saga with a twist of lemony goodness.

10) Huge boobies were a great idea.

Envy's answers
1. Can I break down the fence instead? That sounds more fun.
2. Sodas. Or just something sweet and tastes marvelous.
3. Uhm... 5?
4. The dogma deserved it. Get outta my street.
5. Red, of course. Rail Tracer, anyone?
6. I don't know, but they rock.
7. Jack a plane, go to Germany, and attend a rave under the stars with my best friend.
8. Overrated. Get other flowers instead.
9. Brave Story, by Miyuki Miyabe. Best Japanese-to-English novel ever.
10. "Famous last words? No, thank you. Let me die in silence."

Phil's answers
1. Definetely lean left
2. A coke is nice, maybe some water, Iced Tea?
3. 140
4. I got you my pretty and your damned dogma too!! (Thank you Wizard of Oz!)
5. Chartreuse
6. The Swiss (duh)
7. Head Meterologist at the National Hurricane Center
8. Cerulean
9. The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin
10. Why did you little bastards let me live this long!!!

LED's answers
1. I am solidly so far left I am almost right. Woo circular fence!

2. Water. PERIOD.

3. Purple would be the number 5.

4. Then that means I will be reincarnated as a rich politically awesome man in my next life.

5. Green.

6. Not the Swiss. T'was the French.

7. Travel around the world in twenty times in forty years. Oh and fly to the Moon and Io.

8. Purple. And yellow. Duh.

9. Wicked was pretty good. But when it comes to adolescent-geared violence and necromancy, it's got to be Sabriel by Garth Nix. Oh and my favorite mindless fighting/D&D/fantasy book series is the Legacy of Drizzt.

10. I wish I had not lived to this age. I am alone and now I die alone. May those after me die with less regrets and may they live in an age when they did not have to watch the world die.

Callibre's Answers
1. Who stands on a fence?
2. Hmmm ice water
3. it would equal the sum of red and blue
4. The stigma was driving (I like that answer best!)
5. lime green
6. weight concious mice
7. Travel to every single country and meet the amazing people I know :P
8. not right
9. The Sea of Silverlight
10. I knew I should have had better answers when answering 10 questions on DA.

Pomegranate's answers
1. I don't think I can stand on fence very well. Hello, I loose balance just by walking!! So why would I stand on fence regardless if you say it is proverbial!! ♥♥ (Love you momma)
2. I like water.
3. Most likely a negative number I mean come on, purple has a sad life, their is no purple Power Ranger but their was a purple teletubie!! Seriously!! The color has a sad life!!
4. Tough shit~ ♥♥
5. Pink. No reason, I just love Pink!!
6. Most likely someone Holy.
7. See what I could do~ Cause I has no idea, I use to think I knew what I would do but now the more I think about it the less I know what I would do with all the limits of time and money.
8. PURPLE yet again the color has a sad life.
9. To Kill A Mockingbird!! ♥♥ Best book ever!!
10. Most likely something to the fact that I still outlived some bitches~ ♥♥

Amber's answers
1. I will be honest, I have no clue what proverbial political fence means.... but I am a conservative if that is what you are asking. lol
2. water
3. purple would be number 3
4. sorry
5. green
6. some guy in Italy?
7. I would live the rest of my life in the mountains surrounded by trees and wildlife
8. black
9.Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry
10. thank you and goodnite

Hellas' answers
1. My balance isn’t that good, I prefer to move around.
2. Coffee does it for me every time.
3. 1
4. My karma is a bitch and thinks you should keep your dogma on a leash
5. Green…of course
6. The same people hat invented the Swiss?
7. Pleasure every small breasted redhead and brunette I saw :P…hey you asked for it.
8. Not always blue
9. The Decameron by Giovanni Boccaccio
10. I’m not quite dead yet, honestly I feel fine…no I don’t want to go on the dead wagon

Judes' answers
1. Where do you stand on the proverbial political fence?
-I don't stand ANYWHERE near it!!!

2. What kinds of drinks do you like when you are hot and sweaty?
-Ice cold water with a squeeze of lemon or lime.

3. If purple were a number what would it be?
-It's number would be 7, for the order it appears in the rainbow.

4. Your karma ran over my dogma, response?
-Sorry darling, lemme make it up to you.

5. If a yellow train is traveling at twenty-five miles per hour on a blue track what color is the engineer's underwear?
-Well, if the Engineer is as close to his train as he should be, then his man panties should be GREEN, because yellow and blue make green, and trains and and speed make time.

6. Who invented Swiss Cheese?
-Some really awesome Swiss guy. I'm gonna go with Leif Holestag.

7. If you could do anything in the world, without the limits of time, money, etc. what would it be?
-Make sweet love endlessly until I ceased to breathe.

8. Roses are white, violets are?
-Blue. They're always blue, in fact, I don't have any idea as to why they call them 'VIOLETS' when clearly, they're NOT violet in shade!

9. What is your favorite book?
-Okay, if you couldn't think about this a second, and had to ask me this, then you clearly do NOT know me! ;) (Sarai: It's Gone with the Wind, ladies and gents)

10. If you could live to be 101 1/2 what would you like to say on your death bed?
-"What the hell am I doing on my death-bed?! I've got another 101½ years to live!!!"

Eric's answers
1. No comment.

2. Gatorade.

3. 29

4. Why was it in my karma's way in the first place?

5. Depends- green seems to be obvious, but I'd say red to keep a primary colors trend going here.

6. The Swiss.

7. Go to L.A. and win an Oscar.

8. Technically, they're blue.

9. The Catcher in the Rye.

10. It's been fun.

Terri's answers
1. A democrat who knows how to think for herself and questions stupid things that politiians say, like anything Michelle Bachman and Fairly Failin' says (note: had to put it that way due to copyright she has on her stupid name!). (Sarai: How can she have a copyright on her name?! How do you do that?)

2. Sweet tea with Lemon, or a cold coke..

3. 2

4. I would be devastated...crying and so sorry...

5. He's wearing underwear?

6. The Swiss Guard

7. Peace and Quiet and time with my husband

8. Purple, don't know why they say blue...they are NOT blue, they are purple, it is so confusing, I can't stand it.

9.The one I am reading right now, at any given time...

10. it was a good run...sorry it had to end so soon...

Jennifer's answers
‎1. I jump off of it. And generally ignore the silly thing all together.
2. Ice cold water. Maybe one of those mountain flavored Powerades.
3. 8
4. ॐ
5. Infinity.
6. God.
7. Everything. The answer would be too broad I think.
8. Fuzzy.
9. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak.
10. I. Am. A. Badass.

Willie's answers
1. neither, 'cause the poltitcal game is shit
2. Mt dew
3. #1 cause it is that
4. I'm better cause I'm awesome
5. green
6. its not the swiss
7. just be me
8. black
9. The calling of Cthulu
10. respawn in 10....9....8...7...

An Experiment in Flavors = FAIL

So the other day I was hanging out with Fawn and Pomegranate. Yep, that's right. I typed POMEGRANATE. As in, Pomme and I are now back on speaking terms. Which is good, because I did miss hanging out with her.

Anyway, we were at a local cafe which just so happens to be a non-profit cafe that donates all of its proceeds to different foundations around the world.

This cafe happens to serve Gelato which is kind of like a thick Ice Cream. One of the flavors they had for said gelato was Chocolate Bacon. That's right, CHOCOLATE BACON! As in there were bacon bits in my Italian Ice Cream! IT didn't taste good. Luckily I didn't buy it, I only sampled. And immediately afterward I had to sample something else to get the horrendous taste of chocolate flavored bacon (or was it bacon flavored chocolate?) out of my mouth. Yuck!

So note to self: Never order a Chocolate Bacon Gelato. EVER.

Moments

These are moments I'll remember (and some I'll cherish) forever. I'm trying to savor all of these moments. I'm trying to live like I am dying. Enjoy everything, do everything. No more hesitating!

Breaking into a disco dance session at the stop light with Kid and L.E.D.

Coming up with reasons why the bunny stopped right in the middle of the road so that L.E.D almost hit it. (The bunny lost its bunny job and its wife left, so it had nothing left to live for; its life long dream was to be bunny stew; and it was emo)

Slow dancing with Donnie, in our bedroom, to a song that isn't even romantic.

Talking with Rick, from work, and L.E.D for an hour and half in front of a restaurant on the square.

Standing in front of the Lincoln Memorial for the first time and realizing just how small I really am.

Drooling over Gackt with Donnie.

Feeling pretty for the first time in a long time.

Singing "Good Morning" from "Singing in the Rain" at work, even though it wasn't morning anymore.

Riding in the car on a beautiful day with Kid, where we don't talk but just enjoy the beauty of nature.

Finally getting my GED.

Putting the wrong zip code for my address on the love letter I mailed to Donnie.

Joking about going to the "gangbang" while completely lost with Phil, my brother and Eric.

My sister saying "I'm a sucker for penis" in front of my mother on Mother's Day. The look on my mom's face was also quite priceless.

Meeting my best internet friend in real life.

Realizing that I am who I am and I want to be that person.

The look on Donnie's face when "Judas" by Lady Gaga came on.

Going to the movies with my friends.

Walking to work on a beautiful day, Starbucks Frappuccino in hand, and the complete feeling of contentment.

Making my favorite waiter literally run away from my table because I embarrassed the hell out of him, again.

Being the bigger person in an argument with a willfully ignorant person.

Re-discovering Mark Twain.

Buttering my face after losing my bet with Donnie.

Finally sending that letter to Barack Obama that I've always wanted to send. And realizing that he will NEVER actually read it!

Sending random cards to the people I love, the people I don't know and the people I admire.

Listening to the same part of "Nothing Else Matters" by Apocalyptica over and over and over as loudly as I can. Also, rocking out on the air cello!

Writing my Bucket List.

Several beautiful, unique and out of the blue weddings.

Getting story ideas from some weird and messed up nightmares.

L.E.D and Kid rolling me down the parking lot while I was trashed.

Getting trapped on the tire swing (in my beautiful dress) at L.E.D's graduation party because my feet couldn't touch the ground.

L.E.D, Kid and I all sitting on the swings, even though Kid was in the baby one!

L.E.D's graduation.

Sipping Eggnog Chai with Fawn.

Getting hit on by a random guy in a white SUV with my soon to be sister-in-law.

Discovering that May is Zombie Appreciation Month.

The talking red hamster!

Following the Pink Gibson Road

* Mood: Passionate
* Listening to: Dwarf Fortress
* Reading: Under the Poppy - Kathe Koja
* Watching: The Glass Menagerie
* Playing: HMDSC
* Eating: Lemon Bars
* Drinking: Moon Mist

If you will recall, I wrote a story about a year and a half ago called "The J-Rock Wizard of Oz". Well, I think it is about time I published it and a few of my other stories/poems.

I haven't figured out how to do this just yet, but I'm going to do some research and see what happens. I really want to show the world what I can do and I think this is the way to do it.

So, let me know what you think.

All for now, kittens.

love,
Sarai

MY MCNUGGETS ARE SUFFOCATING ME!!!!

Fawny says:
* http://pagingdrgupta.blogs.cnn.com/2010/06/25/a-tale-of-2-nuggets/?hpt=C2

Sarai says:
* So, can't wait until I move to Europe

Fawny says:
* Lol.
* TBHQ... the side effects. They make me cringe.

Sarai says:
* I wonder why.

Fawny says:
* TBHQ is a preservative for vegetable oils and animal fats, limited to .02 percent of the oil in the nugget. One gram (one-thirtieth of an ounce) can cause "nausea, vomiting, ringing in the ears, delirium, a sense of suffocation, and collapse," according to “A Consumer’s Dictionary of Food Additives.”

I soooo don't want to put that in my body...
* MY MCNUGGETS ARE SUFFOCATING ME!!!!

Sarai says:
* And so we bid a fond farewell to the Addicted to McNuggets Fawn. She was dear to us, but we must say good bye. *kicks body off the pier*
* *giggles*

Fawny says:
* *drowns*

Sarai says:
* *waves goodbye*

Naked Nun for the Win.

Fawny says:
**giggle snort*

Sarai says:
*You sent me a naked girl with titties clamps. O.O
*Who are you and what have you done with Fawn?

Fawny says:
*A NUN, with titties and pierced nipples hanging from a cross.

Sarai says:
*I know this
*I am in shock

Fawny says:
*Papacy porn at it's finest. ^__^

Sarai says:
*She does have some nice tits. lol

Fawny says:
*Indeed.

Sarai says:
*This is an awkward conversation

Fawny says:
*No Sarai, this is a BLOG conversation.

I am God. And this is my Penis, Boris.

I decided to be random and post this lovely little blog. The following is something I wrote:

Hi, I'm God and I'm here to help you... Oh wait, I have to take another call, one moment!
Aside: Um, yeah, I'd like the beefy bean burrito... Extra cheese. No, no tomatoes. I don't know why I created that stuff.
Okay, back. So um, yeah, Africa needs me today. Sorry about your luck.
*Evaporates in a cloud of beefy-ness*

This next piece, however, was not. It was written by someone on DeviantArt by the name of Cosmic Penguin:

“Do you think my penis is too small?” God was in my living room, His pants around His ankles.
“I don’t know, Lord. Don’t they have pills for that in heaven?”
“It’s not as small as it looks,” God said, waving His holy member back and forth to some inaudible beat. “See, most people have good or bad hair days. I have God hair, it always looks the same. There’s a lot of it, and it sticks out in every fucking direction. Instead, I have good and bad penis days. When I wake up in the morning I look down into my holy undershorts to check on the blessed phallus, and depending on how it looks, I know what kind of day it’s going to be. Last Tuesday I woke up and the damn thing was hanging halfway down my thigh. I won three bucks from a scratch-off lotto card. Three bucks! But now I think it’s on a waning cycle. Does it look like its receding to you?”
I examined the Lord’s penis. Something was indeed very wrong.
“You aren’t really God, are you?” I asked.
God stopped shaking his penis and looked at the floor sadly.
“No.” He pulled His pants up to his stomach and left.
I’ve been an atheist ever since.


If God had a penis, what would He name it? I would think Boris. I don't know why. I just do. Boris is a nice name. Good, Russian name, right? Or does that sound to much like Boris from Rocky and Bullwinkle? Does God watch Rocky and Bullwinkle?

Donnie says He (As in God) would name it "The Holy Member". I say that is a boring name. He also says Why would God want a Penis? I don't know, but I am curious now. I mean, man WAS made in HIS image. And Man has a Penis. Then again, woman was taken out of Man and she has a Vagina. So does God have a Vagina?

Would He have Boobs too? I named mine David and Daniel. Would God name His Boobs, if He had them? Why did I name my boobs anyway? Is there a specific point to naming body parts?

Trent says:
*What do you need help with?
Sarai says:
*If God had a penis, what would He name it? I said Boris and Fawn and Donnie said "The Holy Member"
*What do you think?
Trent says:
*The Pearly Gate
Sarai says:
*Why?
Trent says:
**giggles*
Sarai says:
*I'm serious. Why?
Trent says:
*Because it's the gate that spews liquid pearly stuff.

For your enjoyment here are some articles about Gods and their penises. (Or is it Peni?)

Priapus: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Priapus
Min: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Min_%28god%29

This has been a very penile blog. I hope you enjoyed it. I think I need a cigarette.

This has been Sarai and I am OUT!