Equality comes to America

Congratulations to the United States of America for FINALLY legalizing Gay Marriage (hereafter referred to as, simply, marriage) for the ENTIRE country!

Finally something I can be proud of America for.

Of course, as we all know, there is far more work to be done, so we can't rest on our laurels for long.

But today, let's be happy to have made this progress! For today, we have achieved something that so many people dreamed of and dared to hope for.

To Quote Harvey Milk:

"Hope will never be silent."

So, let us not be silent and continue toward what we all hope for. A world at peace.

Sexual Objectification and other weirdness

(This was a Twitter rant I went on. You can find me on Twitter: @wicked_roses)

How is it so easy to sexually objectify someone? I have a hard time believing my hubby has a dick until I see it. Even then, its a body...

We all have one... So why is MY body more sexual than his? Just because I have boobs? Dude, he has them too. They're just flatter...

I'm over here going "Oh wow... This person is trying to be sexually appealing. I didn't know they did the sex."

Maybe that's because I grew up in such a restrictive environment (Christian Nazi step-father), or because I was introduced early on?

I find it odd. I don't see people as sexual objects. Shockingly, I see people as (wait for it...) PEOPLE! Holy fuck!

Even people I'm attracted to... Its weird. I don't think of sex until I'm turned on I guess.

Even then, I don't think of objects. I think of flesh meeting flesh. Person with person... We're people sexing. That's a thing, right?

Do objects have sex when I'm not looking?

Am I missing out on some hot lamp on desk action?

Because really, I see someone and I can be like "Oh hey, he's gorgeous" or "oh hey, she's gorgeous."
Not "oh hey, I want to have sex with that object over there."

Though, admittedly, I might still think "damn, she has a lovely body" or "damn, he has a lovely body." Still seeing a person.

Not just a breathing sex doll. Or a walking dildo.

I guess this stream of consciousness is brought on by watching this video:


And thinking, "Oh yeah, she's an adult trying to be sexy." I'm still thinking of her as a young woman who might not be into that yet.

I suppose I'm not exempt from looking at the "naughty bits" (only naughty as defined by society mind you). But I'm still seeing a person...

Its not like I just see walking boobs. Or walking pecs...

I love boobs. I love penises. I just love bodies. All kinds of bodies. I like lots of people. I'd rather have sex with people than objects.

I'm just so confused on this sexual objectification shit. I've been objectified before, but I don't understand it. Why? Why do people do it?

How can you blithely turn a person into a thing only existent for your sexual gratification?

Beastly: A Review

Today I watched a movie with my friend Saira.



This wasn't an all together awful movie. But it was terribly cliched.

Things I didn't like about this movie:

• What is up with "stalking" being portrayed as "sweet" or "sexy" recently?
• Blackmail is also not sexy.
• Trapping someone with you isn't romantic.
• The use of the words "slut" and "skank."

Things I did like about this movie:

• Neil Patrick Harris.
• Mary-Kate Olsen as Kendra. Kendra was pretty much my favorite in this film.
• Kyle's tree tattoo.

Of course, watching this movie made me think about a few things.

1. Even though "Beauty and the Beast" is one of my favorite movies/stories, it is definitely not romantic. It is portrayed as such, but when you really delve into it nothing could be farther from the truth.
2. The liberal use of the word "slut" is a cultural epidemic. Seriously. Why do we care so much about someone else's supposed sexual life? Why is it insulting to imply that someone is having a lot of sex? There is nothing wrong with sex!! There is nothing wrong with someone having a lot of sex. Either with one person or multiple. It really, REALLY, bothers me.
3. What is up with our views of "stalking"? Its creepy that Kyle (Alex Pettyfer) follows Lindy (Vanessa Ann Hudgens) around. And, somehow, he is absolved of said creepiness because he saves her life. Really? He saves her life so suddenly its all cool beans?
4. Stockholm Syndrome. That's all I have to say on that point.

The music was half-way decent. Kendra (Mary-Kate Olsen) was awesome. The movie was meh. Probably a 1 out of 5 stars. Maybe 1 and 1/2. I definitely wouldn't watch it again.

More than a Mouth

Misandry and Misogny.

This article was very interesting. My biggest issue with the Men's Right Movement isn't even that they want equality. I want equality! We're human beings; gay, straight, white, black, man or woman. We're HUMAN. We ALL deserve to have rights.

My issue with the Men's Rights Movement is that they do nothing for their cause by attacking and abusing people who disagree with them. Militant Feminism is no better. The truth of the matter is this:
Feminism isn't evil. Being a Men's Right Activist isn't evil. What's evil is trying to pin the sins of a wicked world on one another. What's evil is trying to destroy other people on your way to "equality."

And, sadly, Misandry does exist. There are men who ARE being discriminated against. You know why? Because other men have this warped view of "manhood." Being a man doesn't mean that you have to be interested in sports, working out or guns. Being a man isn't about being some distorted version of "manly."
We have this warped view that if you are a Man you can't be interested in fashion or cooking or dancing because those things are viewed as being too "feminine." When we stop viewing "feminine" as being a BAD thing then what do we have? We have a man who enjoys his life.

We have this view that for a man to express any type of emotion is wrong. It makes him a "sissy" or any other derogatory term. Again, because it makes him "feminine."

The number of men that are abused and sexually assaulted by women is ridiculously under-reported because it is somehow shameful that a MAN LET himself be abused or be raped. No. That's wrong. Its just another facet of victim shaming. Men can be abused or raped just like a woman can. A man can be depressed or love fashion just like a woman can.

In a perfect world, we would work TOGETHER to end the inequality between the genders. We wouldn't be fighting AGAINST each other.

To do this, however, we have to admit that there are faults on both sides and that, because we are human this is always going to happen. Just because there are faults doesn't mean that we have to ATTACK each other.

http://time.com/2949435/what-i-learned-as-a-woman-at-a-mens-rights-conference/

The Other Woman: A Review

The other night I had the misfortune of being dragged to see a movie.



A few other reviews I read said it was "predictable" and "stale." But I think it goes further than that.

Welcome to Sexist Hollywood. Welcome to Racist Hollywood.

A few things that pissed me off about this movie (there are SPOILERS):

• Toilet Humour. I've never been a fan. EVER. I think Toilet humour is the lowest form of humour out there. Its not classy, its not funny. Its stupid.
• Nicki Minaj was the ONLY black person in the WHOLE movie and she was a fucking secretary. Not only that, but I felt that she was portrayed as being a woman of "loose morals" because she and her current boyfriend/husband (its not mentioned if they are married) fell in love with each other when they were married to other people.
• Can we say "Body Shaming" and "Slut Shaming"? At one point Cameron Diaz's character (Carly) tells Leslie Mann's character (Kate) that "No man wants to see that" referring to Kate's not shaving her vagina. This is just one of several things that had me seething in my chair. YOU ARE UNDER NO OBLIGATION TO SHAVE ANYTHING FOR ANYONE BUT YOURSELF! And if HE doesn't want to see it, HE can hit the road. Not only that, but there was liberal usage of the words "slut" and "whore" when referring to the "other women."
• Carly, the other woman, is supposed to be the "smart" character in all this drama. She's a lawyer, obviously a successful one since she is practicing in New York City. So... How come she participates in felonious behaviours better suited for teenagers? FYI, altering someone's drink without their knowledge/consent is IN FACT a FELONY. As in, you could go to jail! Not to mention that putting an excessive amount of laxative in a drink can literally kill someone.
• Kate, the wife, is an idiot. She is portrayed as being weak-willed, scatter-brained, etc. It was ridiculously sad, because you could tell that she loved her husband and this was a shameful thing for some reason. Wanting to repair her marriage was a terrible choice, according to everyone else. I'm not saying that trying to fix it would've worked, but confronting him rather sabotaging him would've been better.
• Amber (played by Kate Upton, apparently), the other (other) woman, is just there for boobage. Legit, she is in this movie to be breasts. She barely talks. She is sex. And that's all she was. She was also not very intelligent. Which made me incredibly sad. It would've been awesome if she had been portrayed as an intelligent young woman, besides being a sexual object.
• Mark (played by Nikolaj Coster-Waldau), the "scumbag," isn't just an adulterer, but he is also a criminal! How fucking cliche can you get? I mean, really? He can't just be an adulterer, he's an altogether terrible human being too.
• The women in this movie are portrayed as vindictive bitches. Not to mention that Kate is portrayed as someone easily swayed by sex and an idiot. I know women can be vindictive. I mean, I'm a woman. I'm vindictive sometimes. But men can be JUST as vindictive. Its a HUMAN problem, not a gender problem.

The only thing that I appreciated about this movie:

At one point in the film, Carly wakes up in just a shirt. She notices that she is other wise naked and she immediately thinks that she has slept with Phil (played by Taylor Kinney), Kate's brother. Phil tells her that they didn't "hook up" and when she asks why not, he says he considers himself to be a "good guy." I appreciated this for two reasons:

1. Its the first time I have seen a movie take the stance that having sex with a highly inebriated woman is wrong.
2. Phil not only DID NOT sleep with Carly, he put his shirt on her so that she wouldn't be completely naked and then made sure she got to bed.

It didn't really "ruin" the moment, per say, but the only thing I found not endearing about this scene was when he said that he had to "wall up" his willpower by putting a bunch of pillows between them. It would've been better if he had left it at being a "good guy."

I am terribly sad that my friend, Kid, spent $20.50 on this movie (my ticket and his, since I said I didn't really want to see it in the first place). I think its the worst $10.25 he's spent on me. Ever.

This movie isn't even worth a "rating" in my opinion. I legitimately hated this film. One of the worst movies I've seen.

Do yourself a favour, don't see this film. Its not funny. Its not classy. Its terrible.

Lackadaisical

I'm sorry that I've been rather lackadaisical with my posting of late. Things have been a little bit crazy on my end.

I'll skip my usual Easter/Zombie Jesus Day rant and tell you all that I am feeling like today is a new beginning, in the most Pagan of ways.

Fertility is all around us, the awakening of the earth to a new life, the everlasting cycle of Birth, Life, Death. I have to admit that I love this time of year because it just goes to show how cyclical our lives truly are.

All for now, Happy Spring to you all.

Random Tweets

These are random tweets from my Twitter (@wicked_roses). I hope you enjoy my zaniness.

April 2011
"I finally got a Twitter. Is it normal to feel like I just sold my soul to the Devil? Because that is totally what it feels like right now."

 "A vampire's kiss to resurrect her, a wicked kiss to seduce her. Lost in the tapestry of love and lust, a dagger soaked in blood."

"I want Starbucks. And not to have to go to work... just sayin'."

"Dreamt that I was listening to music by the Beatles with Ringo Starr. I think that is going on my bucket list."

"I am going to be lost in a Korean music kick... Don't send the search dogs, I'll be fine!"

"The Vampire watermelon pushed against the poor girl, kissing all the way up her neck until it had reached the apex of her anatomy."

"The line "Esc-a-pay. That's funny, it's spelled just like the word 'escape'." is not funny in Spanish."

"Dreamt about Russell Brand texting me about a story I wrote. Weird."

"Yay Easter dinner means Cheese Pizza and cookies when you are on your own! ^^ I don't like Ham anyway. Happy Zombie Jesus Day!"

"Piglet doesn't get any love. Just sayin'."

"Actually got my fucking Starbucks today. Damn them and there high prices. Cocoa Cappuccino is good!"

May 2011
"Oh. My. God. Gackt is not only a God, but he is most definitely THE SEX. *just died*"

"'Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.' - Mark Twain"

"Jeez louise! "Friday" by Rebecca Black is a shitty song... She sounds like a monotone pekingese trapped in an electro basket. Eek."

"'I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy.'"

"All ends are beginnings. Welcome to your beginning graduates of 2011. So proud of you."

"Fenris, why must you give me so much trouble?! I know you have the whole brooding hot elf thing going, but you are making this love harder!"

"Why does the first part of 'Judas' always make me think of Vampires? I don't understand!"

"I seem to have misplaced my name, can I borrow yours?"

"So the world didn't end yesterday. Can't say I'm surprised. Who else saw that not happening?"

"Fenris, why can't I get you to love me?"

June 2011
"Groucho Marx is a god."

"Had a dream about young Michael Jackson, Archie Bunker and a wonderful play. Unfortunately Archie Bunker ruined everything. Stupid Man."

July 2011
"I TOTALLY JUST GOT A LETTER FROM THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES!! XD"

August 2011
"Drunks breaking into your vehicle at 12 something at night is NOT fun. I repeat NOT FUN!"

September 2011
"Guess who got married? This girl right here!! So happy to finally be married to my wonderful Husband!"

November 2011
"Is it bad that I feel like a rock star in my new white jeans?"

"I wish I was a red-head again. I felt so pretty."

"The dog peed on my brand new white jeans. Other than that had a lot of fun. Happy Turkey Day to everyone!! I hope you have fun."

December 2011
"The Dutch speak 4 languages and smoke marijuana. - @eddieizzard makes me giggle. Every time."

"It is amazing what a shower does for your mood, your outlook on life and, not least, your personal hygiene. I feel much better. I'm hungry."

"I want to be better than I am. I want to be brilliant. I want to be perfect. But perfect never really comes does it?"

"@zachbraff That's almost like cheating really. I mean, who is going to purposefully go for frankincense? Gold sells better, just sayin'."

"It should be illegal to have to work at 3:00am the day after Christmas. Just sayin'."

January 2012
"Great start to the New Year: Migraine headache, crashing the van, breaking my favorite cup. What next? Alligators in top hats?"

"I am out of cheerios. This is a crisis of astronomic proportions. :("

"Milk duds, with their self-deprecating name and remarkably mild flavor, are the most apologetic of the boxed candies."

"Thinking about flying a kite at night with a glow stick attached."

"Randian Philosophy states that Man is heroic, with his own happiness as his moral purpose and reason his only absolute."

March 2012
"#iusedtothink but then I remembered that I'm a woman and I belong in the kitchen."

"Want to blog, eat some yogurt... Do something worth tweeting about?"

April 2012
"Going to go see Titanic in 3D!!"

September 2012
"Tweet. Tweet tweet tweet, tweet tweet."

December 2012
"My hijab brings all the boys to the yard..."

February 2013
"The whole while playing the game of truth and falsehood, waiting on this tightrope, only to stumble and drown because of my heart."

"Maybe its me, but could we consider the possibility that it could be you?"

"I'm not saying that I want to be mean, I just want to be the kind of girl Matchbox 20 sings about."

March 2013
"@WilliamShatner how many Chuck Norrises could Chuck Norris chuck if Chuck Norris could Chuck Norrises?"

April 2013
"The stars made us and we are composed of the dust of stars."
July 2013
"Well, at least I can recognize 사랑 when I see it."

August 2013
"I am here; in a physical, metaphysical, astronomical, way. Distribute me into particles and watch me explode."

November 2013
"All I want for Christmas is a slow-dance with Morgan Freeman. #christmaswishlist"

December 2013
"Hell, I make it up as I go anyway."

"What does it take to be the other half of a soul?"

"The ocean always spoke to her in ways no human voice could. It spoke to the parts of her that descended from mermaids and myth."

"Your songs are left unfinished, your coffee left un-drunk."

Vaginal Art

People seem to have this preconceived notion that the vagina is ugly, disgusting, naughty, etc. The truth is that the vagina is just flesh, just like any part of the body. The difference is that the vagina is specifically for sexual intercourse and babies.

And now its also for knitting. :)

A World Away

Many years ago there was an HIV/AIDS Epidemic in the United States. It is no longer at such dramatic proportions in the US, but it is still an Epidemic for many other parts of the world. Especially portions of Africa.

Yesterday (Dec. 1st) was World AIDS Day and former US President, Bill Clinton, did an episode of Sesame Street in South Africa to teach young children about HIV/AIDS. This was a beautiful video and I'm not going to lie, I cried. A lot. Because I can't even imagine how terrifying it must be to have this infection in your body and to not even be hugged because people are so ignorant. Especially for a child, who desperately needs hugs and love and kisses to feel better.

HIV/AIDS is not a "world away." It is not a fairy tale that exists somewhere else. It is happening to people, to children, all over the world.

In Defense of Short Hair

The following is in response to an article I came across thanks to a friend on Facebook.
http://totalfratmove.com/why-girls-should-not-cut-their-hair-short/

~

To the frat boy who seems to think that short hair automatically makes a woman ugly,

In case you haven't looked in the mirror recently, you aren't such a peach yourself.

I promised myself that I wouldn't stoop to your level, because that would be insulting to ME. And my mother used to say "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all." However, my mother also taught me to stand up for what I believe is right. So, instead of letting you continue, I'm going to stop you right there and I won't let you finish.

Boys (I wouldn't call you a man, because real MEN don't act the sexist pig) like to claim that sexism doesn't exist. And, if it does, it is most definitely MISANDRY, because Feminists are all man-hating bull dykes who make it impossible for a perfectly nice man to live with his simple pleasures. Feminists come in and ruin a perfectly good party or a perfectly good lay or a perfectly good "dumb blonde" joke because they're ugly and can't get a man.

The funny thing is that the term "feminist" is not limited to women of a homosexual nature. In fact, there are a lot of MEN (there's that word again and, no, it doesn't mean what YOU think it means) and women of varying sexual orientation, skin color and beauty make up the word. You think you can set limits, but in reality, it has to do with a collective conscience. All of us, who are living in the 21st century, realize that NONE of us are EQUAL until ALL of us are EQUAL. Meaning, that women should be able to *gasp* cut their hair, shave or not shave, dress how they want, etc. All things that men have been able to do.

And yes, Misandry does exist! It exists because BOYS believe that MEN can't express any feminine traits without being "gay," "pussy-whipped" or "weak." Misandry exists because BOYS don't know how to be MEN and they live like petulant assholes for the rest of their lives.

So, welcome to the 21st Century. Believe it or not Women can do any of the following:

* Vote
* Have Sex with WHOMEVER THEY PLEASE
* Dress how they want
* CUT THEIR HAIR
* Drive
* Have as many children as they want
* Go where they want
* Read
* Write
* Not shave their legs, privates or under-arms
* Own their own property
* Get a divorce from an asshole who thinks cutting their hair makes them ugly

Sincerely,
The Girl whose Husband helped her cut her hair short, because she wanted it that way, and who is still beautiful despite your stupidity.

Lemon Stealing Whores

I blogged about James Deen (the porn star) recently, though he was more an afterthought in that blog. Anywho, part of the reason I blogged about him was because of an article I read about him doing a casting call for ladies, like myself, to do amateur sex scenes with him for his personal Porno web site.

Well, obviously I had to get to know Mr. Deen a bit better, so I've been reading his Twitter and his blog. It was on his blog that I discovered this totally safe for work gem of a video.

Or should I say, re-discovered. This video was featured in a Cracked.com article about such silly pornography premises... For some reason I can't find said article now, but to be fair, Cracked writes a lot about porn... More than I do anyway.

Anyway, here is the video.



That was awesome wasn't it? Now, do you want to get to know a bit of the guy who was in that? I certainly did, which is why I've been kind of stalking his blog and reading his twitter. Well, if you are interested, like I was, here is a very interesting interview with James Deen. I hope you enjoy it as much as Donnie and I did.

We Tell Girls.

We tell Girls...

You have to be sexual.
But not TOO sexual.

You have to be sexually appealing.
But not TOO sexually appealing.

You have to be sexually inviting.
But not TOO sexually inviting.

You have to be sexually enticing.
But not TOO sexually enticing.

Because if you are TOO sexually enticing, TOO sexually appealing, TOO sexually inviting or TOO sexual then you deserve to be raped, called a slut or a whore, harassed and embarrassed.

Because if you ARE NOT sexually enticing, sexually appealing, sexually inviting or sexual then you deserve to be called a prude or ugly, harassed, embarrassed and molested.

We tell them to always tell the truth and then we call them liars.
We accuse them, the wronged party, of being the aggressor.
We blame their clothes, that we tell them to wear or they aren't pretty or they are too uptight.
We blame their behaviour, that we've told them is the way to behave or they are too prudish.
We blame everything and everyone but the ones who deserve the blame because of what we tell little girls.

We snatch the moon from them and tell them they are fit only for pink dresses and white weddings.
We tell them they have to be virgins, but they have to be sluts too.
We tell them they have to be skinny, but they can't be TOO thin.
We tell them they have to be the maid, the cook, the servant, the mother, the wife, the whore. They have to fit in the stereotype allotted to them.

You can't be good at math or driving or science or fighting. You are weak, a vessel to be filled by your husband, your father, your brother, your male protectors. You can't defend yourself.

But if you don't fight back, then you wanted it to happen. You brought it on yourself. You DESERVED it, didn't you?

You don't know what is best for You. Or your body. Or your children. Keep those tits out, unless you are using them to feed your babies, because that's obscene.

You're disgusting.
You're filthy.
You're vain.
You're a bitch.
You're a whore.
You're a slut.
You're lying.
You're stupid.
You're worthless.
You're ugly.
You're fat.
You're useless.

We tell our daughters this. And then we wonder why they cut themselves. Why they are bulimic, anorexic, compulsive eaters. We wonder why they are pregnant at sixteen and married at seventeen. We wonder why they don't strive for anything outside of this.

How can they fly when WE clip their wings at birth?

James Deen and the Panty Palace

If you had the opportunity to film your very own, amateur, porn with a famous porn star, would you?

Let me ask it this way: Let's say that you find said porn star immensely attractive, the scene is done to your specificity, all the necessary precautions are taken (testing, birth control, etc.) AND you could potentially make money off of it (I don't know, for certain, but I mean... You could, I guess)?

I came across this very interesting article on Huffington Post Women (I follow the Huffington Post on Facebook and in general) while I was looking at a completely different article on one woman's brave views in the face of a double mastectomy from breast cancer. And I should probably be blogging about that video instead... However, I have a lot more to say about Porn and Sexual Freedom. I don't feel like Sexual Freedom gets enough positive input either. I think we can all say lots of nice things about a woman fighting breast cancer and talk about how brave she is. But no one ever calls a porn actress brave. Well, not brave in the same sense.

Beside the point, I'm sorry. Let me have a moment to get back on topic... *deep breath*

Originally I wanted to write this blog about James Deen, the porn star. I wanted to write about the decision to make a porno and I was going to post pictures of him looking adorably average and quirky cute. I may still do that, but now I've started really thinking about this.

No one ever calls a Porn Star brave. There are lots of things we call Porn. Scummy, disgusting, exploitative, etc. We have all these negative connotations toward Pornography, simply because it is porn. But let's take a moment to think about this.

Pornography is the explicit portrayal of sexual subject matter for the purpose of sexual arousal.

A lot of us use Pornography to masturbate. Some of us use it as a stimulant to get things moving; like a sexual version of a cup of coffee in the morning. Some of us hate that we watch it, but are helplessly addicted. Some of us don't understand the point of it. Some of us use it as a pulpit to preach on the sins of mankind and still others of us use it to preach the sexual revolution.

So let's talk about the Sexual Revolution.

Your sexuality, no matter what it is, is intrinsic to who YOU are as a person. Your turn-ons, turn-offs, preferences, orgasms, etc. That is all a part of YOU that can't be removed. So we spend the majority of our lives hiding our sexual proclivities and oddities.

Which leads me into thinking about the darker side of sexuality. Rape, incest, bestiality, necrophilia, pedophilia. I believe that sexuality is intrinsic to who you are, so what does that say about these things? What does that say about a person who chooses to do those things? Make no mistake, in the end it is a choice. Sexuality isn't a choice, ACTING on your sexuality is.

I used to think that, being a feminist, I was doing others of my gender a disservice by enjoying a pornography. I used to think that God would smite me where I stood for daring to be aroused by women, by men that weren't my husband. I used to think that something was wrong with me.

That's what today's society does to you. Not porn. Porn exists because there is a market for it. We're all in the market to be sexually aroused. Its in our NATURE. We were created to be sexual beings. Even Christians would have to agree with that because the clitoris has no biological function besides orgasm. It lends nothing to the creation of life. SOCIETY is the one that tells you that it is wrong. That sexuality is wrong. That being a sexual creature is wrong.

What's wrong with me is that I have believed I was sexually worthless because I am fat. That no one could ever possibly find me sexually attractive because of my body. Because I based all of my opinions about myself on whether or not someone found ME sexually appealing. In reality, I should've been looking inwardly and seeing if anyone found me to be more than a body in a bed.

I may not shave my legs. Or wear sexy lingerie. I may read too much. I may be fat. I may be ugly.

And those are all the feelings I felt when I saw the link for doing an amateur porn with James Deen was still active. "James shoots with ALL types of women. Confidence is key!" The thought wasn't that I was married. Or that if I decided to do a porno it would be available on the internet to people who may know me. No. The first thought was "I'm far too fat and ugly to shoot a porno with."

I. Yes, I would do a porno if I weren't married.
II. Why? Because I could say I did. Because I could break a lot of the stereotypes I hold in and about myself. Because I see nothing wrong with pornography as long as everyone is a willing participant.
III. I've rambled enough for one evening. So, here is a picture of James Deen and maybe I'll think of what it was I wanted to say originally later.

When is Rape Okay?

When I was a little girl (and later, as a teenager) I was violated, sexually. Not quite the same way as rape, it never went quite that far (though there is a question about that when I was very small and have no recollection), but it was still without my consent and therefore a form of rape. Part of the problem is not knowing when to say "No" and part of the problem is that we all seem to be under this delusion that just because there wasn't a "No" means its a "Yes."

Another, far larger, part of the problem is that some of us seem to be under the impression that its okay to force someone to do something sexual; even if they say no.

What are we teaching our children about Rape? Are we talking about how wrong it is? Are we saying it is NEVER okay? That just because she didn't say no, doesn't mean she said yes? Apparently we aren't saying enough because below are the answers Teenagers are giving in response to my question. Not just teenage boys, either. Teenage girls are saying this too! Are we really existing in a time when 31% of our daughters believe they deserve to be raped if they were going have sex with their partner, but changed their minds?

The Morals of Incest.

If two consenting adults engage in sexual activity should said sexual activity be, in any way, be regulated or controlled by the government?

If said consenting adults were brother and sister (brother and brother or sister and sister), should their relationship be regulated by the government?

That is the question that came into my head after I stumbled upon a video featured on the Huffington Post website about a German couple, brother and sister, who fell in love and have four children together. The brother is currently appealing his jail sentence for incest and his lawyer kept saying how he couldn't believe that in this day and age we were still having to fight over two consenting adults being allowed to engage in a sexual relationship.

This brought up so many other questions for me as well... Questions regarding sexual freedom, the meaning of consent, the choices we make, etc.

I read an article once, whether it was based on fact or fiction I don't know, about fraternal twin brothers who had fallen in love with each other. They had been trying to date other men and had been trying to stay away from each other because they believed what they were doing was wrong. But they couldn't stop being in love with each other. So they asked the question "What should we do?"

Is there morality in something like incest? Why do we even believe it is wrong? It can't be from the Bible, because many famous couples, including Abram and Sarai, were brother and sister. Incest was actually something to keep bloodlines "pure."

But then you have to ask yourself, where do we draw the lines for these things? Sexuality isn't finite. It is infinite in scope, desires, etc. Is it wrong for the government to control a couple who is in love, of age and consenting?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/12/patrick-stuebing-susan-karolewski-incest-germany_n_1420107.html

With love to Russia.

My darling Russia,
next to the United States you have been my biggest supporter on my blog(s). And, truly, it isn't your fault that Vladimir Putin is such a jerk-face that he has now relegated Homosexual/Bisexual/Transgendered people into a myth that Christians tell to frighten their children into submission.

Be brave, sweetheart. The world is changing. We are the ocean and we are shifting. Take heart in that there are those of us who believe in LOVE, no matter WHO you love or WHY. Be brave because one day there will be people, like Mr. Putin, who are no longer taken seriously and are merely ignored. I don't know when that day will come, but it WILL.

In the meantime, I still love you, dear Russia. And I still can't wait to visit you someday.

with much love,
Sarai

Strip down or Ship out.

I read a lot. And I mean, A LOT. I read articles, books, posts, etc. I read just about anything I can get my hands on. Which explains a few of my posts and a few of the changes in opinion I've had over time. And, once again, it is reading that has brought up what I'm about to say.

One of the pages I follow on Facebook posted the link to an article about Mackenzie Rosman.


If you are unfamiliar with the child star, she was in the WB tv show "7th Heaven," which was a Christian/family program that began in the mid-90's. On the show she played "Ruthie," not the youngest child, but almost. The show ended in 2007 and, officially, the only actor/actress to come out of it with a career was Jessica Biel.

Now it seems that Ms. Rosman has decided she wants a jump-start to her career. This decision has led to stripping down in the leading rag/mag "Maxim."

http://www.dailylife.com.au/news-and-views/dl-opinion/when-former-child-stars-strip-for-another-chance-at-fame-20130804-2r75e.html

I am all for women being naked... or mostly naked. I love the expression of self that often comes with nudity. What I don't like is that so many women feel they HAVE to get naked to be famous or to jump-start a career. You are never going to be appreciated for what you can do if all anyone sees is your nakedness. And I'm not saying that to be cruel, but its true. With women especially!

If you strip down, men will only see you have a great body and women only see you as being a whore. Which is awful, but how society sees things.

It isn't just the patriarchy that keeps women down. Other women keep their sisters down.

Mackenzie, you are beautiful, you don't have to be naked to prove it. I'm sad that she chose this step.

Things I've learned

My views, opinions and thoughts have changed a lot since I was young. Some of what I believe has changed drastically from even just five years ago. Along this crazy ride called life, I've learned a bunch of things. And I've changed. I feel like I've changed quite a bit. Let's have a look at what I've learned.

A prime example of these changes are my views and opinions on abortions, marriage equality and circumcision. If you had asked me five years ago I would've told you that abortion was a heinous thing and that it was used, primarily, as a birth control. I would've told you that I was still not sold on the idea of Marriage Equality. I would've said that circumcision was much healthier than being uncircumcised.

Those who know me, however, know that I am open to new ideas and thoughts. I am open to anything someone has to say (unless it is uselessly hateful). Which is how my opinions have come to shift. The other thing people should know is that I do my research. I'm not going to just flip-flop like certain Republican candidates (I'm looking at you Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum) because someone says I should. I'm going to look into it.

Which is why my opinions are subject to fluidity and change.

* Never accept something at face value. Something ugly can be beautiful on the inside. Sometimes you have to look past the exterior. Beauty isn't the only thing that is skin deep. Ugliness can be only skin deep.

* Always be open to listening to new music, ideas, opinions and absurdities. Even if you end up disliking it you've at least tried it. The same goes for experiences and foods. Try it before you say you don't like it.

* Sex isn't the be all, end all. It is wonderful, it is fun, it is enjoyable. Don't let it control you.

* Virginity isn't a bad thing.

* Abortions should be legal. We are not walking in each other's shoes and don't know what the other person is going through. We should not be allowed to control the life choices of another.

* We are not equal until ALL of us are equal. Equality for some isn't equality at all.

* Reading is more important than we let on. What we read in books is what we base our lives on. Christians base themselves on the Bible, the Muslims on the Qur'an, the Jews on the Torah. If we read only one thing, we aren't reading at all. We aren't allowing our minds to expand. We are restricting ourselves to one small box. Open up and expand your world.

* Circumcision is wrong; no matter if it is a boy or a girl. Why should we cut away healthy flesh from a being that has no voice in the operation? Aren't we supposed to be protectors of our children?

* The people who say spankings didn't damage them are lying. Spankings damaged us all. Some of us just show less damage than others.

* Stumble Upon is a magnificent way to learn AND waste time.

* Being beautiful is in the eye of the beholder. No matter what anyone says, you are beautiful. Never forget that.

* You aren't too damaged to be loved.

* Barack Obama rocks. :)

* Knowing your history doesn't mean it has to dictate your future.

* Never be afraid to stand up for yourself. Stand up, be heard, stop letting people trample on you. You are a human being, you deserve respect and love. No matter where you come from or who you are.

* Marijuana should be legalized and taxed.

* Rapists should get absolutely NO sympathy from anyone. They committed a horrific crime and no one deserves to be raped. We live in a rape culture and that is wrong.

* Gun control is a thing that needs to happen. No matter what. And I don't care if I'm disliked for that opinion. I've always believed in gun control. That is something that HASN'T changed.

* Being ashamed of yourself because of your past is ridiculous. You can't change the past, so if you didn't like it, change it for tomorrow!

Ashes to Ashes

This is one of the most beautiful poems I've ever heard. And so true of our times.

Homosexuality, Bisexuality, Transgendered, Heterosexuality, these are WORDS. They do not define us. They separate only if you build your walls with them. If you say them like a curse, they may burn, but they don't have the staying power to set the world on fire.

If you let others define you, with their words and their hates, you never learn of the beauty that can be found in the ashes. Don't let the smoldering bones of those who have fought, clawed, raged and died be for nothing.

You are beautiful, even though you come from ashes. Your name isn't a forbidden word. Say it loud. Speak, scream, shout, be HEARD. Don't let them silence you. Don't let them steal your voice. Don't let the words destroy you.

Let the words slip over you, like water off of a duck's feathers. Use only beautiful words to build. And build bridges instead of walls.