Sarai's Crazy Texts

My friends and I have some very odd conversations, text wise. Some we have in person, but they aren't always as hilarious. So, for your viewing pleasure here are some of the crazy texts my friends and I have had.

Me: Communist.
11:27PM Thu, 13 January

My Brother: Liberal :P
12:27AM Fri, 14 January

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K: You only get married once (hypothetically) lol. If a wedding isn't something that is important to you, I say go for it. BUT!!! If even a fraction of you wants a wedding, big or small, I would wait. You could end up resenting your spouse later on, ruining your marriage and causing you to join the circus. I've seen it a hundred times. Also: I happen to be a great wedding singer. I do all Whitney Houston songs, and my rate is low.
12:23PM Thu, 14 July

Me: Well the thinking is that we get married @ the courthouse, then save for a real wedding later on. Also, joining the circus doesn't seem so bad.
12:29PM Thu, 14 July

Me: You are a wedding singer?
12:30PM

K: Ahhh well that doesn't sound too bad. Provided you're ready to be married. Never rush into a decision you have your entire life to make. Am I a wedding singer?
Inside: yes.
Professionally: no.
Your wedding would be my debut.
12:36PM

Me: Whitney Houston is your specialty? I don't think we are rushing. We will have been together 3 years by our chosen wedding date. We've been engaged a year.
12:45PM

K: Yes. I feel like Whitney really gets me. Then I say go for it! Just remember to send me an invitation!
12:48PM

Me: You're wanting to sing at the Monroe County Courthouse on September 1st? Lol.
12:51PM

K: No no.. At a real wedding.
1:03PM

Me: Lol. I know, I was teasing. I will send you an invite someday. I am sure that you will receive many invitations to sing after your debut.
1:07PM

K: Thats a given.
1:08PM

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Phil: Hi parch i mean sarai
9:00PM Thu, 13 January

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Me: Are you working tomorrow?
1:29PM Thu, 14 July

K: Yessum.
1:29PM

Me: I work as well. 2 - 6. POS in fact. I am taking a shift for H. Is he okay? He has been acting strangely. He seemed really down yesterday.
1:33PM

K: No idea. He was over here the other night. Maybe he's pregnant.
1:33PM

Me: That's true. He has been eating a lot of pickles and ice cream.
1:34PM

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Phil: chicken butt sex!!! omg!
2:15PM Sat, 29 January

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K: What is her number again?
10:09PM Wed, 10 August

Me: Why do you always lose her number?
10:55PM Wed, 10 August

K: Hahaha i just never save it.
11:13PM

Me: Silly goose.
11:14PM

K: If I am a bird, I would be an owl. Or an eagle. Or a wolf!!! Muahahaha!
11:19PM

Me: Wolves are not birds!
11:20PM

K: I know.. I got carried away.
11:21PM

Me: Noticed. At least you aren't an acid spraying honey badger?
11:23PM

K: Indeed. Badgers are rude.
11:27PM

Me: Quite.
11:29PM

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Phil: Anything exciting happening today?
2:00PM Sun, 13 February

Me: The entire state decided to divorce Illinois and move back to live with its mother Montana. Other than that no.
2:04PM Sun, 13 February

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Fawn: The highlight of my night. Trent reading porn titles off the TV. We are laughing hysterically...
12:36AM Tue, 29 March

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K: Twainism is a religion I would follow without hesitation.
8:31 PM Mon, 02 May

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Zach: God, your such a tease:p
10:50PM Fri, 03 June

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Me: K. I am drunk texting you. Lol
10:40PM Fri, 15 April

Me: I love alcohol. Tee hee
10:48PM

K: I love you.
10:54PM

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SJ: Hows it hanging ?
9:55PM Wed, 09 March

Me: Free and happy?
9:56PM Wed, 09 March

SJ: Lol tell donny I said to put some pants on
9:56PM