Why we should've been boycotting the Oscars all along.

As many of you may know, Jada Pinkett-Smith and Spike Lee have both announced that they are going to Boycott the Oscars because of their lack of Diversity.

While I still find Jada Pinkett-Smith's decision somewhat suspect (not because I dislike her, but because the timing seems a little... convenient?), she does bring up a lot of valid points.

The problem with the Oscars though, is that they have ALWAYS favoured the White Majority. If you look at a list of Women who have won an Academy Award for Best Actress on Wikipedia, there is one Person of Colour (POC).

Halle Berry is the ONLY WOC (woman of colour) to have won for Best Actress. Ever. Now, she isn't the only one to have been nominated, but I find it interesting that she is the only one to have ever WON. Seriously, the Oscars have been handing out awards since 1929.

So, because my interest was piqued, I went researching and here are my results (if you care to read them).

Since the first Oscar was given to Emil Jannings in May 1929 here are the number of People of Colour who have won for Best Actor or Best Actress.

In 1956, Yul Brynner became the first Asian to win an Oscar for Best Actor. He won for the musical "The King and I."

In 1982, Ben Kingsley became the first person of South Asian Descent to win an Oscar for Best Actor. He won for "Gandhi."

In 1950, Jose Ferrer became the first Latino/Hispanic to win an Oscar for Best Actor. He won for "Cyrano de Bergerac."

In 1963, Sidney Poitier became the first African American to win an Oscar for Best Actor. He won for "Lilies of the Field."

In 2001, Denzel Washington became the second African American to win an Oscar for Best Actor. He won for "Training Day."

In 2004, Jamie Foxx won for his portrayal of Ray Charles in the movie "Ray."

In 2006, Forest Whitaker won for his portrayal of Idi Amin in the movie "The Last King of Scotland."

And, in 2001, Halle Berry became the first African American woman to win an Oscar for Best Actress. She won for "Monster's Ball."

So... You may have noticed that only ONE woman of Colour is on that list... Yeah. That's a problem. You may have also noticed that there are ZERO Indigenous peoples (i.e. Native Americans). Here is a nifty little break down of what we just read.

• 1 Latino

• 5 African-Americans

• 2 Asians

• 10 African-Americans (Though Lupita Nyong'o is actually a Mexican-born Kenyan woman)

• 7 Latinos/Hispanics

• 2 Asians

• 0 Indigenous peoples (AGAIN).

To name a few:
Seriously. So don't come at me with the whole "well there just weren't qualified POCs to play the parts" because it's simply NOT true. White people get the parts, even if the part calls for a POC. And there are several POCs who can pull in a crowd! Denzel Washington, Morgan Freeman, Will Smith, Halle Berry, etc.
It's not that hard guys. They just don't really care about being diverse.
Hence the reasons we should've been boycotting them all along, instead of just this time.

8. 8 People of Colour have won for Best Actor or Best Actress since the start of it all in 1929.

EIGHT.

Now, if you will, please follow me to Best Supporting Actor and Best Supporting Actress. This time in Chronological order!

In 1939, Hattie McDaniels became the FIRST African American to win an Oscar. She won for her role as Mammy in "Gone with the Wind."

In 1952, Anthony Quinn became the first Latino/Hispanic to win an Oscar. He won for his role as Eufemio Zapata in "Viva Zapata!"

In 1956, Anthony Quinn won again for his role as Paul Gauguin in "Lust for Life."

In 1957, Miyoshi Umeki became the first Asian woman to win an Oscar. She won for her role as Katsumi in "Sayonara."

In 1961, Rita Moreno became the first Latina/Hispanic woman to win an Oscar. She won for her role as Anita in "West Side Story."

In 1982, Louis Gossett Jr became the first African American man to win an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor. He won for his role as Sgt. Emil Foley in "An Officer and a Gentleman."

In 1984, Haing S. Ngor became the first Asian man to win an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor. He won for his role as Dith Pran in "The Killing Fields."

In 1989, Denzel Washington won for his role as Pvt. Tripp in "Glory."

In 1990, Whoopi Goldberg won for her role as Oda Mae Brown in "Ghost."

In 1991, Mercedes Ruehl won for her role as Anne in "The Fisher King."

In 1996, Cuba Gooding Jr won for his role as Rod Tidwell in "Jerry Maguire."

In 2000, Benecio del Toro won for his role as Javier Rodriguez in "Traffic."

In 2004, Morgan Freeman won for his role as Eddie 'Scrap-Iron' Dupris in "Million Dollar Baby."

In 2006, Jennifer Hudson won for her role as Effie White in "Dreamgirls."

In 2007, Javier Bardem won for his role as Anton Chigurh in "No Country for Old Men."

In 2008, Penélope Cruz won for her role as Maria Elena in "Vicky Cristina Barcelona."

In 2009, Mo'Nique won for her role as Mary Lee Johnston in "Precious."

In 2011, Octavia Spencer won for her role as Minny Jackson in "The Help."

In 2013, Lupita Nyong'o won for her role as Patsey in "12 Years a Slave."

If you are thinking that 19 people of colour in this category is fine, even though that's 19 out of the past 87 years, you're a jerk.

Break down:

As a comparison: 67 White People have won Oscars for Best Supporting Actor/Actress versus the 19 People of Colour. 67 to 19.

Even better comparison: 79 White People have won Oscars for Best Actor/Actress versus 8 People of Colour.

And don't even get me started on how Hollywood has fucked over the LGBTQIA community while claiming to love them. That's a rant for another day (I'm looking at you "Danish Girl").

Here's what this boils down to, if you really want my opinion (of course you do, that's why you're reading this!):

If you look at the list of Best Supporting Actors/Actresses, the majority of those roles revolve around long held stereotypes against those minorities. That's what Hollywood gives Actors/Actresses of Colour. Stereotypes.

More often than not, you find an Actor/Actress of colour forced into a role that is stereotypical to their particular race. Or you find White actors/actresses who are playing a POC.

Mickey Rooney
Marlon Brando
Robert Downey Jr
Angelina Jolie

Stoplights are a Go.

I was on StumbleUpon (one of my favorite websites) and came across this concept for a new stoplight. I find the idea intriguing and think it would help with traffic quite a bit, because you'll know exactly how much time is being spent while at a stoplight.



The concept is simple as you can see. The hourglass shows how much 'sand' is left before the color changes. In the case of a yellow light it shows you how much time is left before you are either able to go or how much time you have to stop.

However, this thought on time swiftly followed the traffic lights leaving me wondering if traffic lights that show how time runs out would be a good idea after all?



I can't imagine life without time. I can't imagine not having an i-phone or a clock or a computer somewhere near by to tell me what time of day it is. What did our ancestors do before they began marking the passing of time with sundials? Did they worry over all the things we worry over now? Did they imagine their time, their lives, slipping like sand through a vast hourglass, slowly disappearing?

We have a tendency to see time as a finite thing. A thing that ends. And it does, in a sense. For all of us the clock will eventually cease to tick, the sand cease to fall, the sun cease to set. We end, therefore, for us, time ends.

Time however is immeasurable. It is like taffy, pulled out into endless ropes of forever. It pulls further and further. We do not have the capability to even begin to comprehend the infinite amount of time there is stretching out before us. Yawning out like a black chasm, an endlessly long tunnel.

I think that makes it scary. Time will go on. Life will go on. We won't. We will end. Everything ends. But even after everything is gone, there will still be time. In the abyss of everything there will always be time.

The One Hundred Years of Titanic

One hundred years ago today the RMS Titanic departed on a maiden voyage from Southampton, England, on a fated journey to New York City, New York. It never reached it's destination, colliding with an iceberg in the North Atlantic Ocean killing 1,514 people.

Now, if you grew up in the 1990's at all, then you are probably aware of Titanic, if only for the movie starring Leo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet. Or the song from the movie by Celine Dion (which I'm going to post because of the following: 1. The video makes me cry every time, just like the actual movie and 2. I actually really like the song. Views not shared with me by my husband OR Ms. Winslet).

For me, I have a variety of sweet and interesting memories related to RMS Titanic.

The very first memory I have of Titanic is seeing the movie when I was ten. The year would've been 1998 by my recollection. My younger brother was eight and my little sister was a two-year-old Shirley Temple look-a-like. The reason that we ended up seeing this movie (because all three of us did) was because my mother had a migraine headache.

When I was younger my mom was prone to debilitating migraines. This would induce nausea, tremendous sensitivity to light and sound, and sometimes the only cure was for her to try and sleep it off. This often left me in charge (as my sister's father was never around) and us to our own devices.

At this time we lived just down a dirt and gravel path from my step-father's mother's house. I would go there for knitting lessons or to play with Brutus, one of the Cocker Spaniel dogs kept by Nana and Grand-dad (aka: My step-grandparents). On one such day, being bored, we children walked down to Nana's. When she got tired of us (which was quickly that day) she handed me a video cassette (yes, we had VCR's then!) and told me to take it home and watch it with my siblings so as to give my mother a break.

Have you ever tried explaining a sex scene to a two-year-old and an eight-year-old? Or why the pretty lady is naked? And why is that guy drawing her? What is happening to the ship? What is happening to Jack (Leo's character)? Let's just say it was VERY interesting for everyone involved because my siblings and I had many questions regarding the film, which neither of my parents had seen.

After this I became intrigued with the Titanic disaster. I read a few different books on the subject (it was one of my top ten most checked out subjects besides Jack the Ripper, Lizzie Borden and anything by Edgar Allan Poe. I was a rather morbid child). One of my favorites being "Voyage on the Great Titanic" by Ellen Emerson White as part of the "Dear America" series.

The next encounter I remember with Titanic was in Middle School at 14. In my reading class (the sole purpose of this class was to encourage reading, which I already did copious amounts of) we had a Titanic themed reading party. The classroom was transformed into the North Atlantic Ocean, we were all assigned an actual passenger from RMS Titanic's passenger list, we were visited by an author and we ate food similar to what was eaten on Titanic. And we read a book on it as well. Obviously.

Part of the reason this sticks out in my head is for petty reasons. I can't quite remember who I was on the Titanic, but I was married. And I was married to someone I couldn't actually stand. Hilarious, looking back at it now. It wasn't that he had ever been mean to me, but I was a teenage girl. We hate people because we can, not for any logical reason.

Also during that time a friend made a bet with me that I couldn't watch "Titanic" all the way to the credits without crying. I made it, barely. She didn't. I almost lost it during the part where the elderly couple is in bed, holding each other as the water rushes up to claim them. I remember thinking I wanted a love like that. Of course, part of the reason we were friends was because of our things in common. That was where she lost the bet.

I had an elderly gentleman friend when I was young, a friend of the family. His name was Mr. S. He was born the year the Titanic was launched and, subsequently, sank. He was born in July of that year. He would've been 100. And, on days like this where I am thinking about him, I miss him deeply.

One of the most recent memories I have of "Titanic" is sitting in the hotel room in Virginia, on our first trip to DC. L.E.D wasn't feeling well so Kid and I had gone to get Chinese food. When we got back we caught the last half hour of "Titanic." We quoted lines, making fun of Rose and Jack in their final moments. We laughed and laughed. Even though L.E.D didn't feel well we still had fun.

Another recent memory is from our second trip to DC, when L.E.D and I toured the National Museum of History. There was an exhibit partially dedicated to Titanic, with a reproduction of a skylight and some trunks with period clothing. It was interesting to look up and pretend that I was on the ocean, in Titanic, so near to fate and disaster I could taste it.

These memories are beloved, held close to my heart. They may not be the most beautiful or the most interesting, but they are my memories and, to me, it proves the lasting power of RMS Titanic through the years. Titanic has long outlived her passengers, in our imaginations and our memories. She has made her everlasting stamp on history. And a stamp on my memories.

Rest in Peace Passengers and Crew of the RMS Titanic, lost to the waters of the North Atlantic, April 15th 1912.

March of the Stripper Clowns

Welcome to your fucked up childhood revisited and even more twisted!
Welcome to March of the Stripper Clowns. For those of you who are afraid of clowns, you may want to avert your eyes and cower in fear. Partially because these are half-naked people with, often, scary clown make-up. Just for you!

Why, you may ask? Why would I inflict you all with these fiendish monstrosities? Because my brother and Phil were talking about them at random and I am a blog whore. Yep, that's right. I love blogging and when I need material someone always gives it to me. *insert sex joke here*

Of course, the major questions are:
* How much do they charge per hour? Are the balloon animals free?

* How many come in a carload? Are we talking mini-cooper or VW bug?

* Does the wig come off as well during the strip tease?

* Do they dye their pubes to match their crazy wigs/hair?

* Are these regular circus clowns? (More will fit in the car if they are)

Well, enough questions, let's get to the pictures! Are you ready?

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am the ringleader of Lunacy. Want to join my circus?


How about this? Is this better?



No?



Or this, maybe?



Well now that your childhood (and nightmares) have been destroyed (or fueled, depending on who you are), that is all for now.

Seriously though, Clown Strippers are fun!

The Clown in My Closet

THIS BLOG IS DEDICATED TO MEGAN M! (who kind of demanded that I have a blog at least dedicated to her. :P )

Coulrophobia is the extreme fear of clowns.

I was thinking about clowns the other day. (Today I was thinking about abortions and fruit, but that is a different blog for [perhaps] a different day) And I asked my friends on Facebook (yay, Facebook addiction) who was afraid of clowns. 8 of my friend responded.

Three of my friends were scared of them.
Two of my friends weren't.
And three friends said that they just couldn't stand them, but weren't actually afraid of them.

Why are we (as a society) afraid of clowns? Is it because of Stephen King? Is it urban legends? Is it people like John Wayne Gacy? Is it a fear of the unknown and a fear of the masked? Donnie says that clowns fall into the realm of the uncanny. Which is why those who haven't seen "It", encountered John Wayne Gacy or urban legends still don't like them. Even if they have no real reason to dislike them.

I have personally never had a problem with clowns (except for when I was a year old and my parents got me a clown for my first birthday. I wasn't entirely sure what to think of that). In fact, I really like the ideas of clowns. I especially like older versions of them, such as harlequins and jesters. I like French clowns and mimes, too. There is something oddly beautiful, to me, about clowns. Certain clowns that is. Obviously there are clowns out there that are just plain horrifying and disturbing.

Here are some examples of what I call, beautiful clowns.



Okay, this one is kind of just because I think Keira Knightley is hot and she looks good with the "fuck me" red hair. :P Also, she is too pretty to be an "evil" clown, even if that is what her make-up implies.




This one actually has hardly anything to do with clowns. This one is more because I love mermaids and this is a clown fish mermaid... Hey, clown is in the name!


And just for the cute factor, a whole class full of clowns. ^_^


I suppose I can understand being afraid of something that you can't see its real face. That is slightly unnerving (unless you're into that kind of thing), but I don't find it frightening. If a clown was following me at night, I would be nervous, but I'd be nervous with anyone following me at night. I'm the type of person who is constantly keeping track of the vehicle behind me when I'm driving. I always plan ahead in case they ARE following me and I need to take a different route (because you NEVER EVER go to your house if you suspect someone of following you, you find a safe place to go).

I read in an article that one of the reasons people are afraid of clowns is because of Batman. In the Batman comics his arch-nemesis is the Joker (and his sexy sidekick, Harley Quinn). The Joker is a bat-shit insane man who always looks like a deranged clown. Heath Ledger (may he rest in peace) really brings that creepy clown vibe to the forefront in "The Dark Knight". Personally, The Joker was my favorite male villian in Batman (Batman being my all time favorite superhero, but once again that is another blog for another day), my favorite female villian being Catwoman.

When I was young (and stupid) I had a terrible crush on the Joker, partially because he was brilliantly insane and insanely brilliant. He was witty and often terrifying and he totally owned a piece of my heart because of it. I don't see why the Joker would make people afraid of clowns. Are you seriously going to believe that every clown, everywhere, is a Joker in disguise waiting to kill you or fuck with your head?

The Joker and his many faces (fun fact: Mark Hamill [aka: Luke Skywalker in Star Wars] voiced the cartoon Joker).


Anyway, I guess what I'm really trying to say is...

The Randomness

My Questions are as follows (along with my answers):
1. Where do you stand on the proverbial political fence?
Somewhere to the East?

2. What kinds of drinks do you like when you are hot and sweaty?
Anything soda-y.

3. If purple were a number what would it be?
2,382.

4. Your karma ran over my dogma, response?
There goes my good karma...

5. If a yellow train is traveling at twenty-five miles per hour on a blue track what color is the engineer's underwear?
He isn't wearing any.

6. Who invented Swiss Cheese?
The emperor of Japan.

7. If you could do anything in the world, without the limits of time, money, etc. what would it be?
Read every book on my list, lose weight, become that famous movie star I wanted to be and kiss the hell out of Gackt and Wentworth Miller!

8. Roses are white, violets are?
Burgundy.

9. What is your favorite book?
Exquisite Corpse by Poppy Z. Brite

10. If you could live to be 101 1/2 what would you like to say on your death bed?
Damn, I am old!

It seems to me that the most common answer for #5 was green. I'm not quite sure how people came up with Green, but they did. *shrug*

Donnie's Answers
1. I can't stand on a proverb.

2. Semen in a can.

3. Purple.

4. Bitch had it comin'?

5. Yes.

6. Sir Swiss.

7. Um, fondle every pair of breasts on earth.

8. Probably violet.

9. No H's Picture Book of Wood.

10. I told you I was sick.

Fawn's Answers
1. On top of Trent on top of the pole. (Trent: We call it the pole position!)

2. Donnie's Semen in a can. (Fawn: Chai, dammit, Chai!)

3. Sexy. (Sarai: You know, you people don't understand the concept of numbers. Just sayin'.)

4. (Trent barks) Yeah, what he said.

5. Its the color Kurosawa. (Trent: Brown. From SHIT!)

6. Jesus invented it. (Sarai: Jesus invented Swiss Cheese?)

7. I'd grow three new arms and three new legs to go with the two I've got. (Trent: Because if you had three more of each you might have two that worked?)

8. Sex deprived? (No comment)

9. That book by Christian Humber... (Donnie: Oh yeah, I should've said "Christian Humber Reloaded"!)

10. Damn, my diaper is full. (Sarai: Oh my...)

Trent's answers
1) On a post, because the fence is too narrow.

2) The kind of drink that quenches thirst. (Sarai: Smart ass...)

3) Orange

4) It was in the road and needed killin'.

5) Vodka

6) The Pope

7) Give every woman huge boobs. Think Aegis.

8) Still Blue.

9) The Twilight Saga with a twist of lemony goodness.

10) Huge boobies were a great idea.

Envy's answers
1. Can I break down the fence instead? That sounds more fun.
2. Sodas. Or just something sweet and tastes marvelous.
3. Uhm... 5?
4. The dogma deserved it. Get outta my street.
5. Red, of course. Rail Tracer, anyone?
6. I don't know, but they rock.
7. Jack a plane, go to Germany, and attend a rave under the stars with my best friend.
8. Overrated. Get other flowers instead.
9. Brave Story, by Miyuki Miyabe. Best Japanese-to-English novel ever.
10. "Famous last words? No, thank you. Let me die in silence."

Phil's answers
1. Definetely lean left
2. A coke is nice, maybe some water, Iced Tea?
3. 140
4. I got you my pretty and your damned dogma too!! (Thank you Wizard of Oz!)
5. Chartreuse
6. The Swiss (duh)
7. Head Meterologist at the National Hurricane Center
8. Cerulean
9. The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin
10. Why did you little bastards let me live this long!!!

LED's answers
1. I am solidly so far left I am almost right. Woo circular fence!

2. Water. PERIOD.

3. Purple would be the number 5.

4. Then that means I will be reincarnated as a rich politically awesome man in my next life.

5. Green.

6. Not the Swiss. T'was the French.

7. Travel around the world in twenty times in forty years. Oh and fly to the Moon and Io.

8. Purple. And yellow. Duh.

9. Wicked was pretty good. But when it comes to adolescent-geared violence and necromancy, it's got to be Sabriel by Garth Nix. Oh and my favorite mindless fighting/D&D/fantasy book series is the Legacy of Drizzt.

10. I wish I had not lived to this age. I am alone and now I die alone. May those after me die with less regrets and may they live in an age when they did not have to watch the world die.

Callibre's Answers
1. Who stands on a fence?
2. Hmmm ice water
3. it would equal the sum of red and blue
4. The stigma was driving (I like that answer best!)
5. lime green
6. weight concious mice
7. Travel to every single country and meet the amazing people I know :P
8. not right
9. The Sea of Silverlight
10. I knew I should have had better answers when answering 10 questions on DA.

Pomegranate's answers
1. I don't think I can stand on fence very well. Hello, I loose balance just by walking!! So why would I stand on fence regardless if you say it is proverbial!! ♥♥ (Love you momma)
2. I like water.
3. Most likely a negative number I mean come on, purple has a sad life, their is no purple Power Ranger but their was a purple teletubie!! Seriously!! The color has a sad life!!
4. Tough shit~ ♥♥
5. Pink. No reason, I just love Pink!!
6. Most likely someone Holy.
7. See what I could do~ Cause I has no idea, I use to think I knew what I would do but now the more I think about it the less I know what I would do with all the limits of time and money.
8. PURPLE yet again the color has a sad life.
9. To Kill A Mockingbird!! ♥♥ Best book ever!!
10. Most likely something to the fact that I still outlived some bitches~ ♥♥

Amber's answers
1. I will be honest, I have no clue what proverbial political fence means.... but I am a conservative if that is what you are asking. lol
2. water
3. purple would be number 3
4. sorry
5. green
6. some guy in Italy?
7. I would live the rest of my life in the mountains surrounded by trees and wildlife
8. black
9.Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry
10. thank you and goodnite

Hellas' answers
1. My balance isn’t that good, I prefer to move around.
2. Coffee does it for me every time.
3. 1
4. My karma is a bitch and thinks you should keep your dogma on a leash
5. Green…of course
6. The same people hat invented the Swiss?
7. Pleasure every small breasted redhead and brunette I saw :P…hey you asked for it.
8. Not always blue
9. The Decameron by Giovanni Boccaccio
10. I’m not quite dead yet, honestly I feel fine…no I don’t want to go on the dead wagon

Judes' answers
1. Where do you stand on the proverbial political fence?
-I don't stand ANYWHERE near it!!!

2. What kinds of drinks do you like when you are hot and sweaty?
-Ice cold water with a squeeze of lemon or lime.

3. If purple were a number what would it be?
-It's number would be 7, for the order it appears in the rainbow.

4. Your karma ran over my dogma, response?
-Sorry darling, lemme make it up to you.

5. If a yellow train is traveling at twenty-five miles per hour on a blue track what color is the engineer's underwear?
-Well, if the Engineer is as close to his train as he should be, then his man panties should be GREEN, because yellow and blue make green, and trains and and speed make time.

6. Who invented Swiss Cheese?
-Some really awesome Swiss guy. I'm gonna go with Leif Holestag.

7. If you could do anything in the world, without the limits of time, money, etc. what would it be?
-Make sweet love endlessly until I ceased to breathe.

8. Roses are white, violets are?
-Blue. They're always blue, in fact, I don't have any idea as to why they call them 'VIOLETS' when clearly, they're NOT violet in shade!

9. What is your favorite book?
-Okay, if you couldn't think about this a second, and had to ask me this, then you clearly do NOT know me! ;) (Sarai: It's Gone with the Wind, ladies and gents)

10. If you could live to be 101 1/2 what would you like to say on your death bed?
-"What the hell am I doing on my death-bed?! I've got another 101½ years to live!!!"

Eric's answers
1. No comment.

2. Gatorade.

3. 29

4. Why was it in my karma's way in the first place?

5. Depends- green seems to be obvious, but I'd say red to keep a primary colors trend going here.

6. The Swiss.

7. Go to L.A. and win an Oscar.

8. Technically, they're blue.

9. The Catcher in the Rye.

10. It's been fun.

Terri's answers
1. A democrat who knows how to think for herself and questions stupid things that politiians say, like anything Michelle Bachman and Fairly Failin' says (note: had to put it that way due to copyright she has on her stupid name!). (Sarai: How can she have a copyright on her name?! How do you do that?)

2. Sweet tea with Lemon, or a cold coke..

3. 2

4. I would be devastated...crying and so sorry...

5. He's wearing underwear?

6. The Swiss Guard

7. Peace and Quiet and time with my husband

8. Purple, don't know why they say blue...they are NOT blue, they are purple, it is so confusing, I can't stand it.

9.The one I am reading right now, at any given time...

10. it was a good run...sorry it had to end so soon...

Jennifer's answers
‎1. I jump off of it. And generally ignore the silly thing all together.
2. Ice cold water. Maybe one of those mountain flavored Powerades.
3. 8
4. ॐ
5. Infinity.
6. God.
7. Everything. The answer would be too broad I think.
8. Fuzzy.
9. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak.
10. I. Am. A. Badass.

Willie's answers
1. neither, 'cause the poltitcal game is shit
2. Mt dew
3. #1 cause it is that
4. I'm better cause I'm awesome
5. green
6. its not the swiss
7. just be me
8. black
9. The calling of Cthulu
10. respawn in 10....9....8...7...

Random Thoughts (When I Should be Sleeping!)

Who doesn't love it when Satan and Jesus have a dance off?

I'm thinking Starbucks.

The newest video from BIGBANG is so HOT! Of course, I'm not sure what the hell is going on with G-Dragon's outfits... they are kind of Weird O.o

I am pretty sure that my soul can be described in Cello. ^_^

My bucket list is too fanciful, but what can you do?

I should've gone to bed two hours ago.

"And I know its wrong, and I know its right..." Apocalyptica feat. Doug Robb.

Who knew I could kind of miss Twitter when it doesn't work properly?

I am really enjoying "Les Liaisons Dangereuses" by Pierre Choderlos de Laclos, I just wish I had more time to read it.

420 is tomorrow.

The last bit of my Subway soda tasted like the cup. Ick.

Josh Groban is going to guest host Live with Regis and Kelly on the 22nd. I have to work that day. Is it worth it to get up early and watch it?

I am pretty sure I've lost my ever-loving mind.

"And God, are you even there?" Ferras.

Dear Customers, is it really that hard to put an item back where you found it? Really? And if you aren't going to put it back in the right place could you at least make the effort to put it somewhere that it might belong? I know I'd appreciate it!

Also, Dear Customers, how hard is it to pick something up that you dropped on the floor? Believe it or not I don't get paid enough to put up with all your bullshit. Just sayin'.

"I should warn her that you'll never do her right. All your games, all your lies, I need to tell her, maybe I can change her mind." Fefe Dobson.

It is REALLY awkward when you run into someone that you know is having an affair with someone you just recently met and they are with their wife and two kids... I just kept wanting to tell his wife. Only I didn't know her from Eve and that might be weird.

I was SO drunk on Friday night that when I fell to the ground (trying to pick up a quarter) L.E.D and Kid rolled me down the parking lot instead of helping me up. That was kind of fun. Also, Electric Lemonade rocks. Especially if you chug it. Through a straw. >.>

I think Kati Wolf (the lady who sang "What about my Dreams" that I posted) sounds and looks a lot like a blond Celine Dion. Just sayin'.

I hate it when something tells me that I have qualified for a whole bunch of money (a Wal-Mart gift card) and then tells me to get it I have to sign up for stuff that I can't afford!! So aggravating and really depressing, because we could use a $1,000 gift card to Wal-Mart. We would be set for groceries and I could get some new clothes. I hate internet scams.

"Take my soul, take my heart back." BIGBANG.

So many wishes, too little time...

I really do want Starbucks.

"Can't take me, I'm free." Bryan McAdams.

I'm really depressed because I am worried about what we are going to do if Donnie doesn't get a job soon. We don't have a lot of money, my job is so financially unsteady right now and we need food, new clothes, a car, etc. When I was little I dreamt of growing up, being my own woman doing my own thing. Being an adult was all I wanted to be. I was already mature, I already had a bunch of adult responsibilities. But now all I think about is what an idiot I was for ever wishing this on myself.

I have a new friend, Z, at work. He is adorable. Love, love, love this kid. Great sense of humor, wonderful attitude and such a sweet laugh!

Why do I care?

I dreamt the other night that my father, who is in prison somewhere, had a Facebook and I found him on there. It was weird, because I'm pretty sure he doesn't have access to the internet.

If Shakespeare had a Twitter, I would follow him. Does nobody wish Shakespeare had a Twitter besides me?

And does anyone think it weird that the Dalai Lama has a Twitter?! Really?!

When the Zombie apocalypse arrives I think I'm going to serve the Brain pudding and the Electric lemonades after the surrender of Mankind. That seems reasonable. I wonder what kind of brain pudding the Zombie ambassador would like?

Ooo, I'm going to post a neat picture of myself now!


"I'm a talkin' red hamster, I'm a talkin'... VAGINAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" as sung by Kid. We laughed until we cried, we cried until we laughed and I may have actually rolled on the floor laughing. Just sayin'.

The Wedding (and 7 reasons it ruled)

Today one of my good girlfriends and her fiance got married. It was one of the best weddings I've ever been to and here are a few reasons why:

1. Brandon (the groom) and his groomsmen totally did the Carlton dance from "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uP-oylFQ0Dw (wouldn't let me embed it, but suffice to say seeing 3 white guys doing that dance in dress clothes was freakin' hysterical!)

2. Sarah (the bride) looked gorgeous!

3. There was alcohol!! Not only did it taste good, but it was reasonably priced and came in pretty cups!! :D Oh and being old enough to buy it made everything better, :P

4. The dancing was insane and I got to dance with that really cute chick I told you all about a few blogs back. The young woman who allowed me to rub her feet after she had been dancing in heels at the club with us.

5. The ceremony was short and sweet, nothing overly drawn out and nothing over the top. Sweet and simple.

6. We were there for 4 1/2 hours partying!!

7. Did I mention the crazy dancing? It ROCKED! :D

I went in my new dress with L.E.D and Kid. My brother came later, after his play rehearsal and Donnie, unfortunately, didn't get to go due to his insomnia acting up. Not that he would've enjoyed it too much since he would've hated all the music.

Sarah walked down the aisle to "Marry Me" by Train (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghZt2cILcCU), after the bridal party walked down the aisle to "Don't want to Miss A Thing" by Aerosmith (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKAn1HvmRXM). Her colors were White, Red and Blue. So there was American flag colored ribbons everywhere.

The only time that I started to get a little teary was when she was given away by her father and when she and her father had the Father-Daughter dance. The reasoning for that was because I don't have a father who is active in my life and I won't have that. It was sad, and at that moment I really missed Donnie too, but it was beautiful none the less.

After a ton of dancing, some drinking, some more dancing and cake, pictures and beautiful memories we found ourselves outside, in the rain, walking to Kid's car. Why is it that beautiful moments never seem to last and then they become beautiful memories?

It never ceases to amaze me when I look back on our childhoods and wonder where all the time went. We were young children living in the hopes of growing up and living life as adults in a crazy world. And here we are, adults living in a crazy world. We are grown up now, some of us fulfilling our dreams, some waiting for the moment to arrive, some have never grown up. Where does the time go? Where did our youths go?

So, here is to Sarah and Brandon on their beautiful wedding day. May they live happily ever after, the way the fairy tales say. May they have hard times and good times, times that bring them closer together when they could easily fall apart. May they have beautiful children, happy hearts and a house full of love. I wish all of these things in a world that doesn't believe in wishes. I wish all of this in the crazy hope that someday little children with the same dreams we have will look back and ask the same questions and wish the same things.

My Life, Unscripted (Part II)

The following conversation happened at work between myself and my co-worker, Kyle, who has increasingly become a cool friend, sometimes.

As a little background, this conversation happened while we were checking some people out at the register. I was bagging for Kyle and he was ringing the items up. The people we were ringing up were talking about how they were getting ready to go to a wedding the next day.

Kyle: I want to get married. (Pause) Sarai, will you do me the honor of being my wife?

Me: No, Kyle. And I'll tell you why.
1. Your girlfriend wouldn't like it.
2. My fiance definitely wouldn't like it.
3. I am too tired to get married today.

Kyle: All very valid reasons.

Me: Besides, where would we get married this late in the day? We are not driving all the way to Vegas to get married, not happening. Just sayin'.

Kyle: White Castle.

Me: Oh yes, because every girl dreams of getting married at White Castle.

Kyle: I love White Castle!

Me: I like White Castle, but I don't want to get married there!

My Life, Unscripted

I was at my Aunt's house the other day helping her clean a little bit and "Regis and Kelly" was on. Kelly was teasing Regis about all the medications that he is taking that could cause Erectile Dysfunction. Out of the blue the following conversation occurred. Keep in mind, my Aunt is in her late 70's.

Auntie: What's Erectile Dysfunction?
Me: It means he can't get an erection.
Auntie: They shouldn't be talking about that on TV! Why would they talk about that where everyone can hear them?!

If all else fails...

Make your waiter blush horribly.

Which is exactly what I did last Friday night (the name of a Katy Perry song).

Kid, L.E.D and I went drinking. It happened. And we have discovered that when L.E.D and I have been drinking we get silly. (The Friday night before this last one we had played Miss Merry Mack at our table, to my everlasting humiliation.) Okay, I get silly. Very silly and very unscripted.

Waiter Blush #1:
I ordered a Frozen Mudslide. Tastes just like a chocolate milk shake and is even better because you get a buzz. Plus, the glass looks gorgeous until you stir. Anyway, I always get a spoon so I can eat the whipped topping. With said spoon I scooped up said whipped topping and popped all of it into my mouth. Yes, my mouth was full of creamy white stuff.

Our waiter gave me a look. I mean, I just took a whole spoonful of whipped cream in one bite, I'm surprised more people weren't staring. My response to the staring?
"You know you like seeing me with white stuff in my mouth."

Did I mean for that to slip out? No, but I think the whipped cream and liquor lubed things up and out comes Miss Unscripted and Inappropriate.

Waiter Blush #2:
Our waiter convinces me that I should order a Sauza Gold Margarita as it is on special. I say, sure why not? What's the worst that could happen right?

Well, I chugged it. Yep. Took a sip to taste it and then downed the rest. Well I did it a little quickly and choked a little. At that moment he comes up and says,
"You know you are supposed to chew before you swallow."

And who should make a guest appearance right then? Miss Unscripted and Inappropriate. I reply with all the wit of a 6 year old.
"That depends on what you are trying to swallow."

He not only blushed so bad that he had to walk away from our table, he also face palmed. That's right, who is the girl? Me.

There you have it, the adventures of Sarai and her friends when they have been drinking. By the way, Frozen Mudslides are the bomb! I may, or may not, be a little in love with them. Just sayin'.

In fact here is a picture of one, not the exact same kind as the one I had (mine was cooler, just sayin').


Also, if you have the desire to make one of these babies at home here is a handy-dandy recipe.
2 oz Svedka® vanilla vodka
2 oz Kahlua® coffee liqueur
2 oz Bailey's® Irish cream
6 oz vanilla ice cream

Blend alcohol with ice-cream. Serve in a frosted glass.

Okay, now that I have posted all of that about drinking and partying (did I mention the gay bar dance scenes afterward? Or the brand new high heels I got?) I want to go out. Too bad it is the middle of the week and I have to work on Friday.

Well, that is all from me for now. Hope you enjoyed my craziness.

I am Sarai, this is my blog and I am out like my bottle of Vanilla Vodka.

I thought Love was a Myth

Okay so this is crazy because I am going to post randomly. I'm not posting any pictures or recipes or videos or news. Just Sarai. You need a pure dose of Sarai every now then when it isn't intertwined with news, pictures, recipes or videos to stay alive. Bet you didn't know that.

So I am completely insane. You probably figured that out by now. And I have nothing interesting to relate, because I am ENTIRELY TOO BORED with the internet and the world right now.

I dream about seeing the Eiffel Tower in the Autumn. Starry red and gold leaves cascading to the ground and the scent of a café. I want to stand underneath it while it rains and watching the people running for safety.

I think about our world, how it is deteriorating and all the wildlife that is slowly disappearing into the oblivion of legend. It isn't fair.

I hate how people disregard history, how they forget and ignore it. I hate how we just let historical sites fall into disrepair and then it has to be demolished.

I have fallen in love with a dying man, as we are all dying of the human condition. I am dying, you are dying. The world is ending. But I don't think it will end in 2012, just so you know.

I believe in mermaids and unicorns and ghosts. I believe in the stars as they dance above me, I wish they could hear me.

Do the ones we love look down on us after they are gone? Are we re-incarnated or do we just fade out, like a candle at the end of its wick? I hope I am re-incarnated as a flower. An unobtrusive and beautiful flower like a tiny calla lily hidden by stones near a quiet stream. Doesn't that sound perfect?

I want to see the ocean under a violent sky.

I love it when it snows, but I wish it was warmer. I miss the flowers, like the sun misses them in winter. Beauty is cold, you know? It is you know.

I love giraffes. I have an affinity for strange and awkward animals. Like porcupines and platypi and narwhals and giraffes and penguins. Admittedly, who doesn't love a cute little penguin?

Well I'm getting ready to head out of here. Have to go eat with my friend. So I hope you have enjoyed just me. I am going to write more eventually about more interesting things than what I have been rambling about here.

Sarai

Don't Make Me Turn this Blog Around

Woman declared legally dead TWICE.
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/nova-scotia/story/2010/03/17/ns-garden-of-eden-woman-dead.html

They may have found a way to cure breast cancer! ^^
http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/163367/Ice-cold-gas-kills-breast-cancerhttp://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/163367/Ice-cold-gas-kills-breast-cancer

There were six reported rapes in Florida during spring break. Last year there were at least 41 sexual assaults reported.
http://www.clickorlando.com/news/22862991/detail.html

Let's stand outside on a ledge while the transexual brothel we were just in burns behind us. Sound good to you? (This one has TWO links)
http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=1028266
http://www.aolnews.com/weird-news/article/naked-man-trapped-on-ledge-at-swiss-brothel/19403279

A body was found floating in a golf pond. The man is the apparently a missing Potato Chip heir.
http://abcnews.go.com/Business/body-found-golf-missing-potato-chip-scion/story?id=10119095

The question of what would a dog do if it caught the car is answered in the following article. Apparently he would just chew up the tires.
http://www.accessatlanta.com/celebrities-tv/determined-bulldog-chews-officer-372250.html?cxntlid=thbz_hm

North Korean Leader may not live to see 2013.
http://www.aolnews.com/story/report-nkorean-leader-may-not-survive/556377

An idiot gunman decided it would be smart to attack an already dead leader.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/russia/7457955/Gunman-tries-to-attack-Lenins-corpse-in-Red-Square.html

And a song to kind of fit my mood. "Don't Make Me" by Blake Shelton, who happens to be one of my all time favorite country singers. It will only let me give you the link and there are no other good videos, so ENJOY.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtBgkT2Sjzc

HELLO FANS!!

Current mood: Animated

Hello Everyone!!

Sorry I haven't written here in a while, been a little caught up with stuff going on in my personal life. But, I am back and better than ever. As you can see I posted a blog before this one. It is a story I wrote last night, I hope you guys enjoy it. I'm hoping to post more of my writing on here, so that everyone can read it. ^^

Also, I'm planning on starting up a news blog and a song of the day blog again. It's going to be a little hard to stay on top of, because I am SO DAMN SPACEY, but I will do my best. If anyone has any news to contribute, I would be more than willing to add it. Or if you have a song, that would be great too.

What I would really like is for everyone to send me their awkward questions at broken_rivers@hotmail.com so that I can start working on my ALL Awkward Questions episode. ^^

So, your song of the day is 2-1 by Imogen Heap. This song is from her newest album "Ellipse". It is a very deep song and I absolutely love it. So listen to it and let me know what you think!



Now, as for the news this is pretty much what I have right now:

*Marilyn Manson has the Swine Flu. He says that he is "Unfortunately" going to live.
*A woman gives birth to a baby boy after being implanted with the wrong embryo at a fertility clinic.
*The Death toll rises in the Philippines after a terrible tropical storm. So far 140 people are dead.
*Another woman gets pregnant whilst pregnant! She is carrying two babies, conceived at two different times! Don't believe me? Go to www.msnbc.com
*A 16 year old student was beaten to death outside of his school in Chicago. It isn't clear yet, what the exact circumstances are, but family members believe it was because of his refusal to join a gang.

That's all for now,
I'm Sarai and I'm as out as last week's egg salad.

Awkward Questions with Sarai

Current mood: Amused

Okay, so obviously some people aren't going to be able to ask me their awkward questions when the camera is rolling, so I'm going to blog my first online awkward question and how I responded to said question.

DaYog says:
* Hey Sarai, I have an awkward question for you.

Sarai says:
* Oh Dear God
* What?

DaYog says:
* Penis?

Sarai says:
* *dead*

DaYog says:
* Please expound.
* To be more precise the question should be: Penis, please expound.

Sarai says:
* Well you see, Penis is the part of the male body that enters into the vagina of the female body to interact in mating rituals. Sometimes if the vagina (and the female who owns it) gets too angry it grows teeth and devours said penis. The end
* Pomme says you are her hero

DaYog says:
* Hmmm interesting, so the purpose of penis is to be devoured by an angry part of the female anatomy. What if it sings nicely?

Sarai says:
* Well, if it sings nicely, maybe it will survive. Maybe.

DaYog says:
* And if it sings in a nice japanese accent?

Sarai says:
* Then it will definitely live for another concert. ^^

DaYog says:
* Provided it doesn't do anything awkward like spit I suppose.

Sarai says:
* Yes
* No spitting. Even though it is in the nature of Penises to spit

DaYog says:
* Not true, the penis usually streams. Spitting is just the function most often witnessed by women.
* I knew I'd break you down eventually.
* So Pomme, is Sarai still blushing or has the glow faded a bit?