To Do or Not...

Okay, as some of you know, I am on Twitter (@wicked_roses). One of the people I follow on there is Gackt (no, duh!). It just so happens that he (he is a God, have I mentioned this?) has his e-mail up there... I may or may not have mentioned it in a blog convo I had with Fawny Fawn. Anyway, I really, REALLY, want to e-mail him. I don't know what the hell I'd say or do if he, heaven forbid, actually wrote me back. (The President did it, so maybe he would too?)

I just want to do it. Just for the sake of doing it. To say, "I e-mailed Gackt Camui. For shits and giggles."

He wouldn't have enough time to read my e-mail, I'm sure. And it would probably be read by someone who wasn't Gackt, anyway.

Of course, there is still the problem of what would I say?

"Hey, Gackt, You are amazing! And I'm a little in love with you... like at least half of the female population that knows of your existence."

"Hey, Gackt, I wrote a poem about you with references to various songs by you in it... Thought you might like to read it. Maybe."

"Hey, Gackt, I fucking loved your movie 'Moon Child' with Hyde. Would you consider making a sequel?"

"You want my second virginity?"

"You were the Japanese version of Tin Man in my J-Rock Wizard of Oz, you should read it. You may want to try it sometime. With Miyavi and Yoshiki. And maybe me... and Pomme of course..."

"I just want to meet you."

"I promise I'm not a creepy stalker!"

"Can I have a job as your maid? I could do your laundry, wash your dishes, vacuum, etc."

Oh my god, I'm fucking pitiful...

Following the Pink Gibson Road

* Mood: Passionate
* Listening to: Dwarf Fortress
* Reading: Under the Poppy - Kathe Koja
* Watching: The Glass Menagerie
* Playing: HMDSC
* Eating: Lemon Bars
* Drinking: Moon Mist

If you will recall, I wrote a story about a year and a half ago called "The J-Rock Wizard of Oz". Well, I think it is about time I published it and a few of my other stories/poems.

I haven't figured out how to do this just yet, but I'm going to do some research and see what happens. I really want to show the world what I can do and I think this is the way to do it.

So, let me know what you think.

All for now, kittens.

love,
Sarai

Another dose

I fancy a Zebra with lunch, don't you? Not to EAT of course, but I do SO enjoy looking at pictures of them whilst I eat.


For those who might not know, I have uploaded 6 videos to the YouTube, so head on over there and watch them!! Here is one for your viewing pleasure.


How could anyone eat vegetables after watching such a cute little thing like VeggiTales? Really? Of course, Bob the Tomato isn't a Vegetable, he is a Fruit.


I am random today. Quite random.

One of my favorite bands is X-Japan. Its members include Yoshiki, Toshi, Pata (I love Pata!!), Heath and hide matsumoto. Well, it used to have hide in it. We miss you hide!!

Okay, I can't keep up this crazy randomness. Need time to recoop!

LATER!!

Some more craziness...

Current mood: Creative

Sarai: My vagina's name is Delilah because it draws your penis in like Samson

Mrs. Wilhoit: What do you think?
Sarai: The Doctors and Nurses don't know.

Sarai: *Ice Cream Zombie Sarai moves in on the unsuspecting Chocolate Ice Cream in the Freezer, it has no idea that it is about to be CONSUMED!*

Sarai: *singing* Its raining muffins, hallelujah! Its raining muffins, AMEN. I'm going to go out and get, absolutely STUFFED AND WET!!

Chris: If it was German it would've gone through that wall.
Sarai: Yeah right, if it was German it would've stopped for CAKE!

Sarai: I dreamt the toliet paper was trying to molest me and THEN it threatened to plug me up so that I wouldn't be able to go to the bathroom ever again! So I tore it into pieces and burned it.

Donnie: They created a special exhibit just for Him in the Museum of Sodomy!
Sarai: Yeah, it teaches you how to shove your head all the way up your ass!

Sarai: You are a cat perch. I shall call you CP from now on

Sarai: I COULD BE YOUR MOM!!! HONEYBLADE!

Sarai: SPARKLES! I have sparkly AIDS. Its very sad. And I infected everyone else!

Sarai: The first book says "Guide to seduction" The middle says "Everything Tantric Sex" and the last says "Getting Pregnant"

Trent: How much sugar and caffeine have you had today?
Sarai: A LOT!!! SO MUCH!! WHIPPED CREAM!!! *bounces*

Sarai: If i spray Fawn with whipped cream, can I hide out at your house?

Sarai: No the hermaphroditic part.

Sarai: Did you hear? I'm sleeping with a french mime!

Sarai: Sucks to be you right now, stuck in that chair. its okay though, I won't hurt you or anything. you just get to be my toy, forever and ever and ever and ever and ever.....................................................................................................................

Sarai: Fawn ate my boob shaped chips... *sigh*

Sarai: When Fawn plays Toshi incessantly she makes me want run into the arms of Jennifer Lopez!!!

Sarai: So Fawn is going to kill me
Trent: Because you stopped resisting.
Sarai: No, because I said I wanted to dance around the house naked to Jennifer Lopez

Sarai: I cook Your food...
Fawn: So?
Sarai: Well how do you know I didn't poison it with Jennifer Lopez?

Sarai: You know, it all comes down to that epic question: am I smarter than George W. Bush?

Trent: *looks shocked*
Sarai: You know, I actually have other interests besides cross-dressing singers.

Sarai: I'm sorry, my brain isn't inside my head... its floating about with the flies.

Trent: How many times has Fawn been adopted?
Sarai: Well, Yo and my Mom... Wow, Yo and my Mom could be married... awkward
Trent: Especially with you having the hots for him.

Sarai: No reason. I'm SG (silly girl), GG (goofy girl), PB (pedantic bitch) and CG (crazy girl). I do strange things!

Sarai: Now you're just getting fawning ridiculous

Sarai: I just got gang raped poked!!
Trent: There are things I don't need to hear.

Trent: I know because I've been there.
Sarai: Did you buy the t-shirt while you were there?

Sarai: Then how does oral work?
Trent: You know I'm not comfortable explaining that.

Sarai: She's strangling me ... and now she's touching my boobs
Trent: You probably deserve it.
Sarai: I'M BEING MOLESTED!!

Trent: So let me get this straight.
Sarai: There is nothing straight about this.

Sarai: So I've been mind-fucked 4 times today... How was your day?

Sarai: And then i decided to come down from my pedestal and talk to you people
Fawny: Oh you have a pedestal...?
Sarai: Yes, yes I do. hide lent me one to see if I liked it

Sarai: I was giving Fawn a lesson in breasts today.

Sarai: Not bothered love, just dead... I mean not dead madam, just wounded. Tis only a flesh wound.... where was I?

Sarai: DAMN STRAIGHT! or crooked... either way

Fawny: Boob-gram?
Sarai: Yes, I delievered a "boob-gram" to you

Sarai: Yes, her boobs are screen squigglies. And beautiful screen squigglies they are!

Sarai: Yep, you're undead. Thus speaketh the Fawn

Sarai (ON MIDOL): Only slightly... BARELY WORTH MENTIONING! I need Coffee... do we have any coffee? I NEED MT. FUCKING DEW!!! *dances about living room in sugar craze*

Sarai (ON MIDOL): I'm not going insane... I swear... I hit my hand... I think my head hurts... fjweorur9y4hkljk;fj]]=024up *SQUEE* I HAVE SPARKLY PANTS!! *dances*

Sarai (ON MIDOL): I cna't rememebr my name right now. Sarai? name? age? ocial ecurity? _*_ Upside down!

Sarai: I GIGGLE AT THEE!! Beware my giggling!

Sarai: (ON MIDOL): Yes, precious deep breathings

Sarai: (ON MIDOL): *whispers* i see gay people!! Like "i see dead people" except the people are of the homosexual nature

Sarai: there was a bug on me...
Trent: Did it go for shelter?
Sarai: it was crawling on me
Fawny: No it didn't go after her boobs...
Sarai: and i squealed and then knocked it off. do you suppose it died?
Trent: No, it's just plotting until you aren't looking.
Sarai: oh... maybe it will grow wings like the pink spider and fly away

Sarai: Elsewhere in the world, people are eating pygmy pies made entirely of White dental floss!

Sarai: If aliens really do exist... I'll give my brother a piggyback ride to mars!

Sarai: Things could be worse: At least you're not being rectally probed by aliens.

Fawny says:
See?
Fawny says:
Cry faced...

Sam says:
just checking
Sam says:
I mean your bowel movements are extremely important to me

A Conversation with Myself
Sarai One says:
she says no, but i'm sure this is annoying
Sarai One says:
that is why she would kill me
Sarai Two says:
or us
Sarai Two says:
whichever
Sarai One says:
or maybe she'll just kill you
Sarai One says:
and leave me be
Sarai One says:
did you ever think of that?
Sarai Two says:
no, actually i didn't

Sarai says:
so i might be talking to Zombie Yog?
Yog says:
Quite possibly.
Yog says:
I feel like a zombie.
Yog says:
But I dreamed about vampires ... so you never know.
Sarai says:
I'm so very sorry. Art thou hungry for brains?
Yog says:
No, and strangely not thirsty either.
Sarai says:
yep, you're undead. thus speaketh the fawn

J-Rock Wizard of Oz (Chapter Thirteen)

Current mood: Crazy

Chapter Thirteen: Getting back Home Again


“So, I hear you have brought me the Button.” Said the booming voice.


“Yes, we killed her with tofu. Who knew something so delicious could be so deadly.” Said Sarai, shrugging her shoulders. The rest of the group looked at her as if she had lost her marbles, then focused their attention back on the wizard’s voice.


“Good. Well, come back in a few weeks and I’ll let you know if I’ll help you.”


“What?!” cried Pomme. “We went through all that trouble and you aren’t even going to help us?! You bastard.”


Just then Sarai noticed a curtain. Behind this curtain stood a shadow. A shadow with very eccentric hair, sticking out at all angles. Tip-toeing over she pulled back the curtain to reveal a short man, well obviously he was taller than Sarai, but shorter than everyone else in the room.


“Who are you?” demanded the group in unison.


“Why, I’m the wizard.” Replied the man.


“You don’t look like a wizard to me. Well, you do have the crazy hair down I suppose. Though, are wizards supposed to have that shade of orange in their hair?” said Pomme.


“What’s wrong with Orange?” asked the man indignantly.


“Nothing. Who are?” replied Sarai hastily.


“I’m Ruki. The wizard of J-Rock.”


“And you aren’t going to help us get home even though we just almost got eaten by a psycho bitch obsessed with shoes?” asked Sarai.


“No. I’m not. Because I don’t know how. You see, I lied. I’m not really the Wizard of J-Rock. I just pretend that I am. So far nobody has disputed my claim to the Wizard-hood, so I’m fine. I can’t help you get home at all. I’m a terrible person.” With this Ruki hung his head in shame and scuffed his shoes on the floor.


“Well if you aren’t the Wizard who is? And why did you want Twink’s button? And how the hell are we supposed to get home?” asked Pomme.


“Actually, you’ve already met the wizard. The wizard is hide. I wanted Twink’s button because it controls the flying platypi and, seriously, who doesn’t want an army of flying platypi at their disposal? And as to how you are to get home you will have to ask hide. I have no answers.” With this Ruki took the button and disappeared leaving the group alone to contemplate what he had said.


“Now, we’ll never get home.” Cried Pomme, slumping down against a wall.


“It’s okay Pomme, we’ll figure something out. Maybe we can find where hide has band practice and make him tell us how to get home.” Replied Sarai, leaning over to hug Pomme.


As the guys all slumped against the wall to hug the girls a bright pink bubble appeared in the middle of the room. With a burst of pink light hide appeared.


“So, I heard you still haven’t figured out how to use the magic in the shoes. I thought you were smart enough, but apparently not.” hide crouched down in front of Pomme, lighting a cigarette. “Don’t cry. I’ll tell you how to get home. You’ll need to stand up though.”


“Are you kidding? I don’t know if I can get up!” said Pomme, using Sarai and Gackt to boost her upward. “Okay, what do I do to get home?”


“Click your heels and whisper ‘There’s no place like Japan, There’s no place like Japan’ and you’ll be home. Oh and you sprinkle this pink spider glitter on yourselves.”


“And you couldn’t tell us that at the beginning why?!” cried Sarai.


“Well that wouldn’t have been any fun now would it? I knew you guys would make it, it was just fun to watch. I have a big screen crystal square and it gets great reception on you guys.”


“Wow. That was kind of a dick move, dude.” Said Pomme. She turned toward Sarai and the guys and gave a half smile. “Well, I guess it’s time to say our good-byes.”


First she hugged Yo, then Miyavi and finally Gackt.


“I think I’ll miss you most of all.” She whispered.


“What was that?” asked Yo and Miyavi.


“Nothing. Innocent, I’m innocent!” giggled Pomme, giving everyone another hug. After her second hug, Pomme flung some of the glitter into the air so that it settled on her and Sarai.


“AH!” exclaimed Yo. “You got some in my fur! Do you know how hard it is to glitter out of fur?! Fuck!”


“Oops. Sorry Yo!” said Pomme, trying to stifle a giggle. “Well Sarai, hug everyone so we can get out of here. I have had enough of these shoes!”


“Fine, fine.” Said Sarai. She then proceeded to hug Gackt, Miyavi and lastly Yo.


“You know, I was thinking. Maybe if I kissed you, you would turn back into a prince.” With that Sarai kissed Yo’s cheek. Lo and behold the magic worked and Yoshiki was turned back into a handsome prince.


“Thank You.” He said. “We will never ever forget you.”


With a few tears and a few more hugs, the girls held each other’s hands, closed their eyes, clicked their heels and whispered.


“Um, aren’t you forgetting the glitter?” said hide.


“We just did the glitter!” said Pomme.


“Well you need more of it! God, got to do everything myself.” Replied hide, snatching the glitter he flung it all over the girls.


When they opened their eyes, they were in the abandoned house they had ridden to the world of J-Rock, unharmed and full of wonder at their adventures.


When they finally made their way back to Auntie Fawn’s they were both given a severe scolding and several hugs.


“Oh, Auntie Fawn,” said Pomme. “I had the most wonderful dream and met the most wonderful people. And now I know, there is no place like Japan.”


THE END

J-Rock Wizard of Oz (Chapter Twelve)

Current mood: Animated

Chapter Twelve: How to Kill a Bitch


“Well my pretty,” said Twink. “See this beautiful hourglass? It has exactly two hours of sand in it. When it runs out you will become my dinner and I’ll have the shoes because you are dead. Isn’t that lovely?”


“You are one really sick bitch, you know that right?” replied Pomme, spitting at Twink.


Twink came up close, too close for Pomme’s taste because the smell of rot and hypocrisy made her gag, and grabbed Pomme’s chin forcing her to look into the Wicked Bitch’s eyes.


“Oh darling, You haven’t seen anything yet. Toodles!” And with that Twink disappeared, slamming the door behind her and locking it.


Left alone in the silence, Pomme finally began to really cry.


“I’m scared Auntie Fawn! I’m scared! God, I’m scared. I don’t know where Sarai is, she could have died from an asthma attack and I wouldn’t know. I don’t know where the guys are and I never got to tell Gackt that he is a great kisser, or to kiss him again. Auntie Fawn, Uncle Aoi! Help me, I don’t know what to do.”


“Auntie Fawn, Auntie Fawn!” cackled Twink, her horrifying visage appearing in the crystal triangle behind her. “Nothing is going to save you now lovely. By the way, do you want to be barbecued or slow roasted?”


With that, the image disappeared and Pomme was left alone to watch the sand falling and wait for death to arrive.


Sneaking up close, Sarai and the guys peeked over a little ledge to the fan-girls below. They were parading around showing off their strange clothes and even stranger make-up, while pretending to be guarding the castle.


“I have an idea!” exclaimed Sarai. “We’ll grab one of those girls and knock her out then take her clothes and make up and sneak in.”


“One problem, Sarai.” Said Yo.


“What’s that?”


“We aren’t girls.”


“Oh. That’s okay, you are effeminate enough that you’ll be able to pull it off. Hurry, we don’t have much time, God only knows what Twink is doing to her in there.”


The sand was slipping through faster and faster, Pomme began to really worry that no one was going to rescue her. The shoes were even more tempting to try to take off, but she couldn’t seem to figure out a way, it was as if they were a part of her DNA.


“Well, this sucks. At least I won’t have to be buried in these things, that’s something to be happy about at least.” She mumbled.


Finally a fan-girl came too close to the group and they knocked her out taking her make-up and clothes. Dressing themselves up, they snuck into the castle.


“Which way Sarai?” asked Yo.


“This way!” Sarai ran up some spiral stairs, swirling higher and higher into the castle until they came to a big wooden door.


“Pomegranate are you in there?” asked Miyavi, knocking on the door.


“Yes! I’m here, oh hurry, the hourglass is almost empty and she wants to freaking cook me!”


Using their brute strength, the boys and Sarai knocked down the door, then grabbing Pomme’s hand began to run back down the spiral stairs. Unfortunately, at the bottom was Twink and an entire army of fan-girls waiting.


“I can’t believe you thought it would be that easy!” cried Twink, laughing a horrible laugh.


“Well, I don’t either, considering how freaking hard this entire thing has been so far.” Replied Sarai.


“Shut up, Smart Ass.” Snapped Twink, her dull eyes flaring for one second. “Now you all will die. Slowly. I won’t have to worry about food for months, you will all do just fine.”


Thinking on her feet, Pomegranate spied a bucket of what looked like a thick white cheese. Quickly she picked it up and hurled the stuff onto Twink.


“Ah!” screamed Twink, steam rising off of her. “What the hell?! What have you done? Is this… It is! You threw TOFU on me! NO! My one weakness! What a beautiful world, all that wickedness and you had to destroy it with Tofu. How could a good little girl like you do such a thing.”


The steam continued to rise off of Twink until all that was left was her horrible clothing, the “Meat is Murder” button and the stench of Herpes. With that, the Wicked Bitch of the West died.


“Quick,” cried Sarai. “Grab the button and let’s get the hell out of here! The fan-girls don’t seem too happy!”


Quickly Gackt grabbed the button and grabbed Pomme’s hand, dragging her toward the exit. They fled from the castle and somehow managed to lose the fan-girls in the mix.


Exhausted and happy, the group arrived back at the Wizard’s castle where a slightly bored Trent led them to the throne room to speak with the Wizard.

J-Rock Wizard of Oz (Chapter Eleven)

Current mood: Artistic

Chapter Eleven: Finding the Wicked Bitch of the West


After they had helped Trent feed the exotic animals, and Sarai almost got eaten by the lesbian tiger (and not in a good way mind you), Trent kept his promise and gave them food and a place to sleep. The next morning, he gave them a good meal and a map to the Bitch’s castle. Wishing them good luck he gently shoved them out the door and into the Forest of Screeching Fan-girls.


“How far does the map say the castle is from here?” whispered Pomme, clinging to Gackt’s arm.


“Um, a long ways. Dude, I don’t even friggin’ know how to read a map!” exclaimed Sarai, shoving the map at Yo.


“It says we are about 15 miles from the castle. That’s not far.”


“Oh my god, my feet are going to fall off, I swear.” Cried Pomme.


“Do you suppose the fan-girls will come out and devour our souls?” asked Miyavi, shaking a little as he aimed his shovel.


“Fan-girls don’t eat souls, silly. They’ll just kiss you until you die of dehydration. It’s a bit messy though. Dehydration that is, kissing is nice.” Replied Sarai, pushing the shovel back down to Miyavi’s side.


“They are right where I want them.” Whispered Twink to Hiroto. She looked again into the crystal triangle, then pressed her “Meat is Murder” button.


Immediately a horde of flying platypi filled the sky, robotic arms affixed to their bodies so that they could grasp and carry things. Hiroto prepared his miniature flying contraption and awaited his orders.


“Bring me the girls, do what you like with the others, but make sure the girls are brought to me alive. I need them alive so I can get the shoes off intact. Now fly, FLY!”


With a loud woosh, the horde of platypi took off, following the lead of their leader, Hiroto the flying chipmunk.


Meanwhile, the group had stopped for a break, snacking on some of the food Trent had packed for them. The sky above them began to darken as it filled with screaming platypi.


“Oh shit, not again!” screamed Pomme.


“Save Pomme, she has the shoes!” cried Sarai, pushing Gackt and Yo toward Pomme and grabbing Miyavi’s shovel. She began to swing the shovel back and forth so as to hit the platypi, but was quickly overwhelmed and swept up by big robotic arms.


“Sarai!” screamed Pomme, trying to escape the guys’ arms to try and rescue her friend.


Quickly the swarm was upon them, clawing and tearing the men off of Pomme and dragging her up into the sky. Just as quickly hordes of screaming fan-girls came rushing out of the forest to help the platypi, dragging the men to their nests buried deep in the darkness.


“No!” cried Pomme. “Guys! Oh god, I’m afraid of heights! Oh god, oh god!” And with that, she was swept away with Sarai to the Wicked Bitch’s Castle.


Once they arrived at the castle they were immediately taken into custody by the Bitch’s loyal fan-girls. They separated Sarai and Pomme, shoving Sarai into a large wicker coffin and Pomme into a dismal dungeon.


With a flash of stupidity and sexually transmitted disease, Twink appeared to Pomme.


“So, my pretty, you want to give me those shoes now?” she said, munching on some half cooked steak.


“First of all, that is disgusting. Secondly, hell no. What have you done with my Sarai?”


“Oh, she’ll be fine, as long as you give me the shoes. If you don’t, I’ll have her and her wicker coffin thrown into the river to drown. So, what will it be? Living Sarai or Dead Sarai?”


“That’s not fair!” screamed Pomme. “You can’t kill a living being over a pair of shoes!”


“Oh, but I can! And I will if you don’t hand them over.” Twink made a signal for Sarai in her wicker coffin to be brought into the room.


“Don’t do it Pomme! Don’t give her the shoes. hide told you that they were magical, don’t take them off!” screamed Sarai, fighting against the wicker.


“But she’ll kill you!” cried Pomme, fighting back tears and the urge to rip those, now, hateful shoes off of her feet. “Take the shoes, just don’t kill my Toto!”


“I AM NOT YOUR TOTO!” screamed Sarai, tearing at the wicker with her non-existent nails.


“Good, good.” Exclaimed Twink, but as she reached for the shoes a guitar chord played causing her to be flung back in shock.


“I’m sorry!” cried Pomme. “It wasn’t my fault, I’m sorry! Please don’t hurt Sarai!”


Recovering from her shock, Twink turned to the fan-girls.


“Take her and drown her in the river.”


Just as she proclaimed Sarai’s death sentence, Sarai broke through the wicker and ran. Running with all of her might she fled the castle and found her way back to the forest of screaming fan-girls.


“Gackt? Miyavi? Yo? Anyone who isn’t a psychotic fan-girl who will tear me limb from limb?” whispered Sarai. In the darkness she heard a low moan coming from under a pile of brush.


Underneath the pile was Miyavi, one straw arm dangling helplessly at his side. A few feet away was Yo, draped over a tree branch, some blood on his face and a couple of yards from them was Gackt, tied to a tree.


“Oh my god! What did they do to you?!” cried Sarai, running to help her friends.


“Well they thought that since I was only made of straw it wouldn’t hurt anything to tear me apart!” cried Miyavi, clumsily standing and trying to fix his arm.


“They decided that because I was only a lion I didn’t matter and they left me to be eaten by the flying platypi.” Said Yo, finding enough strength to remove himself from the tree’s woody embrace and stumble over to help Miyavi with his arm.


“They apparently decided that I would be a sacrifice to their goddess’ lusts and tied me here so I wouldn’t escape.” Said Gackt as Sarai began to untie him.


“Twink has Pomme and I don’t know what will happen if we don’t get there in time. We have to hurry.” And with great urgency the group took off toward Twink’s castle to rescue their beloved Pomegranate.

J-Rock Wizard of Oz (Chapter Ten)

Current mood: Awake

Chapter Ten: An Impossibly Possible Mission

Inside the Wizard’s castle it was quite dark, the hall only lit by tiny electric candles. There were very tall windows, but they were draped with heavy black curtains to block out even the tiniest light from outside the building.

“How are we going to find the wizard from here?” whispered Pomme.

“I have no clue, but we’ll find him. It couldn’t possibly be…” started Sarai.

“You know, every time you say it couldn’t possibly be that hard it turns out to be, so just be quiet.” Exclaimed Pomme.

“Sh!” complained the group.

They skipped down the hallway, trying to find a way to the wizard. At one point they stopped at the end of another excruciatingly long hallway, waiting a moment to figure everything out.

“So, what do you think you’re doing here?” asked a voice behind them. Upon hearing this voice they all jumped and turned around to discover a tall man with glasses, dressed like a guard, directly behind them.

“What are you doing here?” repeated the man.

“Um, we are here to help the Wizard.” said Pomme.

“With what? I wasn’t notified of any assistance being needed.” Replied the man.

“We are his hairstylists.” Sarai piped up.

“His hairstylists? This late? Why?”

“Well, have you seen his hair recently?” scoffed Pomme.

“What are your names?” asked the Man, trying to look very stern, but clearly getting bored.

“I’m Pomegranate, this is Sarai, Miyavi, Gackt and Yo.”

“Pomegranate? Your name is Pomegranate?” the man stifled a guffaw.

“Yes it is. You have a problem with that?”

“Nope, just laughing at your name meaning Cursed Evil Fruit. Follow me.” With a quick turn the man began to escort the group down a nearby hallway.

“What’s your name? If you don’t mind my asking?” said Sarai, catching up with the man.

“Trent.”

“Do you like working for the wizard, Trent?” asked Gackt.

“Not really. I mean I spend my entire time trying to figure out who is a guy and who is a girl that I just continuously feel like I’m getting penis wagged in my face.”

Sarai and Pomme stifled a giggle, both of them turning bright red.

“Did he just say what I think he just said?” whispered Pomme, pulling Sarai back behind the group of men.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure he did.” Giggled Sarai.

After a short while, Trent led the group into the receiving room of the castle. Directing them toward some seats he quietly exited and was gone for about ten minutes before returning for the group.

“He says he will see you, though he doesn’t recall sending for you guys.” At this Trent shrugged and led the group into the throne room where he then promptly left closing the large and ornate doors loudly behind him.

“So,” a loud voice boomed. “You are not my real hairstylists. Why have you come here?”

“If it please your wizardness,” began Pomme “We were told to come to here by hide, the good witch or fairy or whatever he is of the North. At least I think it was the North.”

“Ah, so hide sent you, did he. Where is your proof?” asked the voice.

“Well, they are on my feet. Unfortunately. Do you know how much of a pain it is to try and run from flying platypi in nine inch electric blue heels?” replied Pomme.

“No, but I can imagine it would be rather hard.” Said the voice. “So you have the shoes of the Wicked Bitch of the East. Anything else?”

“Nope, that’s about it.” Said Sarai.

“What is it that you want exactly?” asked the voice.

“We want to go home,” said Pomme, pointing at herself and Sarai. “I don’t know what they want, I think they just came along for the cute factor.”

“Hmm, interesting. Well, for you to get home you need to complete a task for me.”

“What might that be?” asked Sarai, worry creeping up her spine.

“Oh nothing to big. I just need the Wicked Bitch of the West’s ‘Meat is Murder’ button.” Replied the voice.

“But to get that we would have to coming in touching distance of her!” cried an outraged Gackt. “And who in their right mind wants to do that?!”

“SILENCE!” commanded the voice, booming so loud that the room shook, knocking Pomme off her heels and onto her ass.

“You must bring me the button or else you go directly to the police. Do it and I will help you get home.” Then the voice faded and refused to answer any other questions.

“Well shit.” Said Sarai, helping Pomme back up to her feet. “What do we do now?”

“I guess we go to find the Bitch’s castle and get that button. Or else you guys will be stuck here.” Said Yoshiki, fiddling with his tail. “Truth be told guys I don’t want you to go. We could just find a nice abandoned cottage somewhere and live happily ever after. Wouldn’t that be nice?”

“I’d be up for it, but who would feed Shakespeare?” said Sarai.

“Shakespeare?” asked Gackt, Yo and Miyavi in unison.

“Her creepy snake.” Replied Pomme.

“He is NOT creepy. He is a magnificent albino king cobra that I got while visiting a cousin of mine in India.” Said Sarai, getting slightly huffy.

“Your parents let you have a COBRA?!” exclaimed Yo.

“Well, no. I don’t have any parents. And besides, I’m an adult, I can take care of myself thank you. I’ve never been bitten.” Replied Sarai.

“Okay, for your own safety I’m afraid we’ll have to either keep you here or go back with you.” Said Gackt.

“Okay, enough of this chit-chat. We have to get to the Wicked Bitch’s castle and we don’t even know where it is!” said Miyavi.

“Not only that, but I’m starving and exhausted!” said Pomme. “We haven’t slept almost since we got here, except for passing out and being trapped in the Pink Room at the Welcome center!”

“I agree with Pomme. We need to find a place to sleep and get some food.” Said Yo, being the adult of the group.

“I think I can help you with that!” said a voice. They turned around and found Trent standing by the ornate doors. “I can actually help you find the Bitch’s castle too. I have a map. I’ll give you guys some food and a place to sleep tonight if you will do me a favor.”

“What’s the favor?” asked Pomme with trepidation.

“I need someone to help me with feed the animals around here before we all go to bed.”

“Oh well that shouldn’t be…” started Sarai.

“Don’t even THINK about finishing that sentence, Sarai.” Interrupted the rest of the group.

“How many animals are there?” asked Gackt.

“Only five. One man-eating rabbit, one lesbian tiger, one de-winged flying platypi, a fire-breathing cow and a unicorn.”

“I’m not even going to ask how you got these animals.” Said Pomme.

“Can I have the tiger?!” quipped Sarai.

“Hell No!” exclaimed Yo and with that they followed Trent to the animal houses.

J-Rock Wizard of Oz (Chapter Nine)

Current mood: Anxious

Chapter Nine: Finding The Wizard of J-Rock

When Pomme and Sarai woke they were in a big pink room on small pink beds dressed in pink pajamas.

“You know, I like pink, but I think I’m having a pink overload.” Said Sarai, pulling at the pajamas.

“What happened?” mumbled Pomme, rubbing her head.

“You crashed into our city, clogged up traffic and destroyed several buildings, no big deal of course. Long story short you are in the Pink Star City, in our Welcome Center, which you crashed into.” Said a very sarcastic voice.

When the girls turned around they saw a lady with pink hair, black strands underneath.

“Auntie Fawn?!” cried Pomme, glomping the lady.

“Get the fuck off me!” cried the lady, shoving Pomme off. “My name isn’t Fawn! And I am not your aunt!”

“Oh, sorry. I thought you were someone else.” Pomme turned away from the woman and sat back down on one of the beds, some tears running down her face. She was really beginning to miss her Auntie Fawn and her Uncle Aoi.

“It’ll be okay Pomme, we’ll get home soon enough. We just need to talk to the Wizard.” Sarai reached over and patted Pomme’s shoulder.

“Talk to the Wizard? You crash into our city and then you think we’ll let you talk to the Wizard?! You’ve got to be coo-coo for Coco Puffs and I don’t mean chocolatey fucking goodness! Are you insane?” said the lady with the pink and black hair.

“But we must speak to the Wizard! The good witch of the North, hide, sent us!” cried Pomme.

“Oh yeah? Good witch huh? Well, we’ll need proof that he sent you.” The lady put her hands are her hips and frowned. She didn’t seem at all happy about the mentioning of hide.

“Well, she’s wearing the nine-inch electric blue heels that he gave her!” said Sarai pointing at Pomme’s feet.

“How do I know that she got those from hide? She could’ve just picked them up anywhere!” said the lady.

“But she didn’t pick them up anywhere. These belonged to the Wicked Bitch of the East, we crushed her with an abandoned house and hide gave Pomme the shoes.”

“So, you’ve killed before! Landing houses on top of people, then crashing flying machines into cities! Maybe you are here to kill our wizard too!”

“It was an accident when we killed the Wicked Bitch! We didn’t mean to land on her! And as to crashing into the city, that was entirely Gackt’s fault. He was the one flying the thing!” said Pomme, standing up.

“Great Pomme, blame Gackt. I’m sure that will help!” said Sarai, rolling her eyes up to the ceiling and back to the floor.

“Oh you must mean the gentlemen that were with you when you crashed! They are being questioned as we speak.” Replied the lady.

“Where are they being held?” asked Sarai.

“As if I’m going to tell you! Do I have S T U P I D written on my forehead in hot pink letters or something? I don’t think so.” Replied the lady.

“Well, where are our clothes? The ones we crashed in?” asked Pomme.

“They are in a special place. Well taken care of I assure you. In the mean time, you are to come with me as you are to have your pictures taken and to be escorted to the local jail. You will be held until such a time as the wizard decides to put you on trial.” With that the lady put some leopard spotted furry handcuffs on the girls and began to escort them out.

Just then Sarai had a brilliant idea. She suddenly fell to the ground and began breathing hard and forcing herself to wheeze. Pomme stopped short and tried to help Sarai up, not realizing what Sarai was trying to do.

“Sarai? Are you okay? Sarai!” Pomme turned to the lady. “She is having an asthma attack, she needs her inhaler!! It’s in the pocket of her pants! Hurry, hurry!”

Frightened, because she had never seen someone have an asthma attack, the lady took off to get Sarai’s pants and, subsequently, her inhaler.

“It’ll be okay Sarai, deep breaths.” Said Pomme, sitting beside Sarai.

“I’m fine, Pomme.” Sarai pulled out the keys to the handcuffs and her inhaler from a pocket in the pajamas. “I took my inhaler out of my pants just before I passed out and held onto it. And, you provided enough of a distraction that I was able to slip the keys out of that lady’s pocket.”

Pomme hit Sarai’s arm, hard.

“Ouch! What did you do that for?!” cried Sarai.

“You scared the shit out of me! I thought you were going to die or something!”

“Well I’m not dead! So let’s hurry and get the hell out of here!” with that Sarai unlocked the handcuffs and the girls took off.

As they wandered down the streets looking for signs, they noticed a star-shaped building that said “Prisoner Questioning” on the side. Quietly, they snuck into the building to find Gackt, Yo and Miyavi.

“Why do I have the feeling that this is all a little too easy?” asked Pomme.

“Probably because it is.” Replied Sarai.

“Where do you think they are being held?” asked Pomme, almost falling off her heels for about the millionth time.

“I have no clue, but this place didn’t look very big, so I’m sure we’ll find them shortly.” However, Sarai was very wrong. Even though the building itself looked small, inside it was a large and complex maze leading down into caverns below. Gackt, Yo and Miyavi were being held in the very bottom of this large and complex labyrinth, being questioned by a very large and mean guard.

After hours of searching and getting even more lost, the girls sat down in a closet for some rest. They were both very tired and hungry. Scrounging through their little hiding space they found some snacks shaped like stars and a bottle of juice, which they decided to share. After reading the ingredients however, Sarai realized that she could not eat the snacks or drink the juice because they had rice in them.

“Damn allergy to rice! It’s going to be the death of me, you know.” Complained Sarai, throwing the snacks over to Pomme.

Just then they heard someone walking outside the door. They held their breath and squeezed themselves up against the very back of the closet, waiting. The door opened only slightly and three figures slipped in.

“Now what, Miyavi?” said a hushed voice.

“Miyavi? Gackt? Yo? Is that you?” Sarai whispered.

“Yes. Sarai? Pomme?” replied a voice.

“Yes!” Sarai and Pomme came up to the other figures and they all exchanged hugs.

“How did you escape?” asked Pomme.

“Well, it turns out Miyavi has a photographic memory and once the guards backs were turned we escaped. He has led us this far, but the guards were catching up, so we slipped in here.” Replied Yo.

“How can Miyavi have a photographic memory if he has no brain or any other internal organs?” asked Sarai, hugging onto Yo and Pomme.

Miyavi shrugged and smiled.

“It doesn’t matter, really,” said Pomme. “As long as he can get us out of here.”

“Well we better hurry, otherwise we are going to get caught.” Whispered Gackt.

They waited a moment until they heard the guards’ footsteps pass, then they opened the door and ran for it. As they ran, none of them knew that they were being watched by Twink in her tower through her crystal triangle.

“Damn it. Why does nothing I do work? They are always escaping and getting closer to the wizard. Must do something, but what?” raged Twink. She wasn’t used to this, normally she got her way very quickly, but she had now been denied her desires by 3 men and 2 girls. One of whom still hadn’t figured out how to use the magical shoes given her by hide.

Finally, after sneaking around the city, the sun began to set and everyone went to their homes and to bed. Signs were even hung along the side-walks saying they were “Closed for the Night”.

“Wow, this is almost like that little village we live in!” said Pomme.

“Yeah, except we don’t have signs notifying the closure of side-walks. Come on, we’ve got to find the wizard if we ever want to get out of here.”

Finding the wizard proved quite easy actually, because just above his Castle was a huge blaring sign pointed directly at his door. The sign practically screamed in its bright neon orange letters, proclaiming “THE WIZARD IS HERE!”

“Well, that isn’t obvious at all.” Said Sarai.

With that, they all snuck up and went in to the Castle of the Wizard of J-Rock.

J-Rock Wizard of Oz (Chapter Eight)

Current mood: Amused

Chapter Eight: Finding the City, Past the Poppies

“Damn them!” screamed Twink as she stared into her giant crystal triangle. “They should have died by now, but they are still going toward the city. At this rate they will find the city and meet the Wizard and it’ll be Goodbye Magical Shoes. Must come up with a plan.”

“Excuse me, your Wickedness.” Said a timid voice.

“What is it now?!” roared Twink, turning on a small, nervous chipmunk.

“Well, it’s just that I think I know what you should do.” Replied the chipmunk, shrinking back.

“What is that?”

“The field of Poppies. The one about two miles outside of the Pink Star City. You could use some of your magic on it to stop them.”

Twink pondered this a moment, then gingerly patted the chipmunk’s head.

“Good job, Hiroto. You won’t be eaten after all. Go, fetch all the flying platypi and prepare them. If this doesn’t work, I will be needing them.”

With that, the chipmunk scampered off and Twink began to prepare the spell to terrorize our young heroes.

Meanwhile, the group was exhausted, walking on very little sleep and sore feet. They finally stopped for a break about a mile away from the field of Poppies Twink and Hiroto had been discussing.

These poppies were not like the poppies we know, these poppies were J-Rock poppies, meaning that they were already magical on their own. Twink was going to twist their magic and use it against the adventurers. The field of poppies stretched for several miles in either direction, just rows and rows of beautiful bright red flowers. Within each flower was a single tear-shaped black pearl that could protect you from harm, disguising you and even turning you invisible.

After a short rest, the group began to enter into the field of poppies. As they got a little bit further in, Pomme, Sarai and Yo began to feel very ill. When they looked pieces of them were missing. Pomme could see through her stomach, Sarai was missing her legs and Yo couldn’t find his tail.

“Oh no! Sarai, what are we going to do?!” cried Pomme, feeling quite faint.

“I don’t know, Pomme! I don’t know! Oh god, Help!”

All of them began to cry out for help, though, as Gackt eventually pointed out, there was no one within miles to hear them. Pieces of Pomme, Sarai and Yo kept disappearing until they were nothing but talking heads lying amidst the flowers.

“What are we going to do Gackt? We can’t just let them disappear! We have to do something!” cried Miyavi.

“I don’t know what we can do! HELP! HELP!”

Just then a large shower of pink spider sparkles began to fall in the form of pink snowflakes. As the pink snow covered the group, Pomme, Sarai and Yo began to regain their bodies. Once they had all of their limbs they all hugged and ran as quickly as they could out of the field of Poppies.

As they emerged from the field they saw a huge city shaped like a giant pink star rising out of the earth.

“Look!” shouted Sarai. “The Pink Star City!”

“Let’s hurry!” exclaimed Pomme.

So they all took hands and began to skip toward the city.

“Damn it!” cried Twink, as she once again stared into her crystal triangle. “They’ve had help from that stupid hide matsumoto, Mr. Good Witch himself.”

Pacing back and forth, Twink began to formulate a new plan, one that couldn’t fail.

When they were about halfway to the city, Sarai looked up and noticed a large object flying just a short distance above their heads. Upon closer inspection, Sarai realized that it was something like the airplanes they had in Japan, only this one was slightly smaller and shaped more like a flying platypus.

"Um, guys..." Sarai stopped short and pointed. "What the hell is that?"

Pomme and the guys stopped and all looked up. Then they all began to run as the flying object dropped down and began to try to hit them. They all dove to the ground, as the flying machine pulled a "North by Northwest" move, flying scant inches above their prone bodies.

"Damn that was close. We better hurry or we aren't going to make it to the city alive!" cried Gackt, then he grabbed Sarai and Pomme's hands and dragged them up.

The flying machine swerved in the air, turning around to try and squish the adventurers. This time, it flew so low that one of the wings scooped up Pomme and Sarai, only picking up Sarai because she was holding on to Pomme like the world was going to end. As it tried to pull away, Miyavi, Gackt and Yo all grabbed hold of the back of the machine and pulled themselves up.

"Quick! Somebody take over the controls!" cried Yo, struggling to hold on. Pomme and Sarai found what looked like a cockpit and saw a Chipmunk, with a flying helmet on, steering.

"So, that's what she meant when she said she had flying platypi led by a flying chipmunk!" said Sarai.

Hiroto the chipmunk looked up at the girls and squealed, jumping up from behind the steering wheel. He then jumped out of the cockpit and pulled a chord releasing his giant parachute, so that he began to float back down to the Pink Gibson Road.

"Well, that was a dick move," said Pomme. "Now what are we going to do? I don't know how to fly anything!"

Sarai took hold of the wheel and began to pull up on it, but to no avail.

"Damn, that always works in the movies." she said.

"This isn't a movie Sarai! We are about to die horribly if we don't figure something out now!"

Then Gackt came in, some blood trickling down his lip.

"I'll do it," he said. "I used to fly things like this before I got turned into a statue." He then took the wheel and the girls scampered back up to where Miyavi and Yo were.

When they got up they saw Yo and Miyavi fighting off a dozen flying platypi, diving and swooping, trying to knock the guys down. The girls looked around for something to use as a weapon, but found nothing. Then all the sudden the flying machine did a nose dive leaving the platypi in a stream of smoke. Everyone held on tightly as the plane continued to plummet to the ground.

With a loud bang, the plane and passengers crashed through a pink glass ceiling over the city and into the middle of town. Everyone stopped to stare at the strangers in the flying machine.

"Um, Hi." said Sarai, just before she and the others passed out from exhaustion.

J-Rock Wizard of Oz (Chapter Seven)

Current mood: Awake

Chapter Seven: Meeting the Yoshiki Lion

“I get it,” Said Sarai. “This is the part where we begin to chant. Because we had to meet up with the Bitch first. Of course.”

“No offense, Sarai, but this is no time for joking. We just almost got devoured by flying baby heads! Now we are horribly lost in another part of this scary forest and may very well be eaten by something else.” Said Pomme, trying not to cry.

“Oh, it’ll be alright Pomme. We’ll have you back to your Auntie Fawn soon enough. Then you can explain to her why you were out with the cute Koreans.” Replied Sarai, giving Pomme a playful kiss on the cheek.

As they walked, the bricks began to become worn and faded. Eventually the bricks stopped completely and, dismayed and feeling defeated, the group sat down to rest and to figure out what to do.

“Well, this isn’t good.” Said Gackt. “As long as we had a brick road to follow there was a chance of getting out of here. Now, now I don’t know what we are going to do. All of this has changed since I was frozen in place.”

“Sarai,” said Miyavi. “What were you saying earlier about lions and tigers and bears?”

“Oh, it’s just a line from a movie, Miyavi. There probably aren’t any lions or tigers or bears here.”

“I beg to differ.” Replied Pomme.

“Why?” asked Sarai.

“Because there is a big lion right behind me!” with that Pomme, Miyavi and Sarai all jumped up and fell over.

Just in front of them stood a tall figure with a long tail and a shaggy mane. It growled at them, then dropped to all fours and came up to them. As it got closer they noticed that it was, in fact, a lion with shaggy gold and silver fur all over its body.

“Holy Hell! Now what do we do?!” cried Pomme.

“Um, I don’t know! Hold still. Maybe it will go away!” replied Sarai, trying to remain calm.

Instead of going away, however, the lion came closer, sniffing at Sarai. Slowly it crept closer and closer, until it was a few inches away from Sarai’s sandaled feet.

“Go away.” Said Sarai, moving back a little and propping herself up.

The lion growled, low and threatening, then moved closer still. Quickly, Sarai jumped up, kicked off her sandals and began to run. Quick as lightning, the lion followed, chasing Sarai around a tree. As Sarai came around one side, Gackt came up and smacked the lion on the nose. The lion stopped, stunned, then sat down and began to curse.

“Fuck! That hurt! Goddamn, why did you do that?! I wasn’t going to hurt her! Fuck! Is my nose bleeding?!”

Sarai stopped, panting from running. “How was he supposed to know you weren’t going to hurt me? Why were you chasing me anyway?!”

The lion stopped worrying about his nose for a moment and looked slightly sheepish. “Your hair is really curly and I wanted to make one of them bounce.”

Sarai looked at the lion, the lion looked at Sarai and then they both burst into a fit of laughter. Just as they began to laugh Pomme and Miyavi caught up, instantly coming up and helping Sarai.

“I’m Sarai. What’s your name Mr. Lion?”

“Yoshiki. That’s Yosh-Key. Not any of that Yo-she-key shit. Just Yoshiki. You can call me Yo for short, if you like.” Said the Lion.

“Well, this is Pomme, Gackt and Miyavi. We are on our way to the Pink Star City to see the Wizard of J-Rock. Would you happen to know the way out of this forest?” asked Sarai.

“Actually, yes I would. I can show it to you, but in exchange you have to take me with you.”

“How did you become a talking lion?” asked Pomme.

“Well, once I was a human being. I was actually a Prince in a city far away from here. One day I was out for a walk and the Wicked Bitch of the West showed up. She tried to seduce me and I almost fell for it. But when I finally told her that I wasn’t interested she got angry and turned me into a lion. Do you think the Wizard could turn me back into a man?”

“I don’t know,” said Sarai. “But it is worth checking out. Let’s go!”

So, the group linked arms and Yo led them out of the forest and back onto the Pink Gibson Road. By the time they reached the road it was dark outside. The sky was ablaze with the eyes of people all over the universe staring at one beautiful orb of light. They stopped a moment to stare at the sky, then quickly continued on their journey to the Pink Star city.