Showing posts with label Russia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Russia. Show all posts

Sunday, August 11, 2013

With love to Russia.

My darling Russia,
next to the United States you have been my biggest supporter on my blog(s). And, truly, it isn't your fault that Vladimir Putin is such a jerk-face that he has now relegated Homosexual/Bisexual/Transgendered people into a myth that Christians tell to frighten their children into submission.

Be brave, sweetheart. The world is changing. We are the ocean and we are shifting. Take heart in that there are those of us who believe in LOVE, no matter WHO you love or WHY. Be brave because one day there will be people, like Mr. Putin, who are no longer taken seriously and are merely ignored. I don't know when that day will come, but it WILL.

In the meantime, I still love you, dear Russia. And I still can't wait to visit you someday.

with much love,
Sarai

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Fairy Tales

As a child my favorite fairy tale was "The Little Mermaid". I had the Disney movie and it was my security blanket. I took that movie with me everywhere. I watched it all the time (My second favorite movie was "The Wizard of Oz", which should've been obvious from my "J-Rock Wizard of Oz" tribute) and had it memorized. I have a picture of me watching it with my father on the couch at my Memere's house. My mom even got me one of those tents. If you grew up in the 90's you know exactly what I'm talking about. Those plastic play tents that your mom or dad would set up in your room or the living room and you would play with your toys in there.

However, whilst I love "The Little Mermaid" (both the Disney movie and the Hans Christian Anderson story), I love a few other interesting fairy tales. Not all of them happy. So, here is my Top 5 Favorite Fairy Tales list. Just to be random! (Since "The Little Mermaid" is a given it will not appear on this list)

1. The 12 Dancing Princesses (Germany)
This story is kind of weird. Which would probably be part of the reason that I love it so much. The Twelve Dancing Princesses was originally published by the Brothers Grimm (unsurprising to be sure) and since then it has seen many different places and things. Including, Faerie Tale Theatre (Shelley Duvall!) and Barbie (ugh!).

The tale goes that a king becomes incredibly suspicious as to why his daughter's dancing shoes are always worn out every morning. Especially since they all sleep in the same room and their door is locked every night! They can't possibly be going out dancing! Or so he thinks. Of course, one can't blame him. He has to pay for new shoes for TWELVE DAUGHTERS every day... I'd be a little suspicious too.

He decides to give a reward to whomever can figure out what is happening to his daughters' shoes each night. A soldier arrives and decides he is going to try his luck. After meeting an old woman (who gives him an invisibility cloak and some good advice), he eventually discovers what is happening. I won't spoil it for you, but as the title suggests, it has to do with dancing girls.

If you are interested you can read the story here: http://www.eastoftheweb.com/short-stories/UBooks/TwelDanc.shtml
As far as I can tell it is the full story, at least as close to the version I have always read as I can get on the internet.

I always enjoyed this story just because I loved the idea of these princesses escaping their father for one night and dancing it away with handsome princes in an enchanted forest. Who wouldn't love to do that?!

2. Bluebeard (France)
"Bluebeard" was written by Charles Perrault, also known as Mother Goose. Bluebeard is not your typical fairy tale. It doesn't feature princesses or ghosts or anything like that. In fact, it is one of the most disturbing fairy tales I've ever had the pleasure of reading. And, something I didn't know before now, it may have been based on a couple of real people.

Bluebeard is NOT Prince Charming. No where near it in fact. He is described as hideously ugly because of his horrifically blue beard. Hence the name. At any rate, he has been married several times, but no one knows what has happened to his wives. (I'm sure you can see why that would be a little weird and somewhat frightening to any future wives) According to Monsieur Bluebeard, they all left him. But none of them returned to their families.

Eventually, after throwing many lavish parties, Bluebeard marries again. This young woman decides that under all that blue facial hair is a handsome and refined man that she wants to marry. And she does. After all, his beard isn't really all that blue. (<--- That is almost a verbatim quote from the story, just sayin')


So, this beautiful young woman moves into her husband's ridiculously huge house (I mean, the man has a key for every room, every closet, every cupboard, etc...) and is content with her lot. That is until the day her husband decides he has to go on a business trip. Because he knows that his new wife is young and because he knows she will miss him, he leaves her his keys and tells her to throw a huge party. To invite everyone she knows and have them stay with her for a few weeks while he is gone. His only stipulation is that she not open the little closet in the bottom floor of the house. He is even kind enough to show her the key that opens said forbidden closet. Of course she swears her loyalty to her husband by promising to not go anywhere near said forbidden room.


As soon as he is gone, she invites over everyone that she knows for a huge party. However, being a curious girl and a poor hostess, she quickly goes to the bottom floor of the house and opens the door to the little closet. What she finds there so startles her that she passes out, dropping the key. It is this little key that leads to her undoing.


Of course, you have to find a copy of the story to find out what happens, 'twould be a tragedy for me to spoil it.


3. The Girl with the Rose Red Slippers (Egypt)
I found this fairy tale not that long ago (about a year ago) while looking for stories from Egypt. This story is considered to be one of the first "Cinderella" stories every told.

A beautiful girl is bought as a slave. Except this owner is quite nice to her and somewhat indulges her, even giving her a pair of beautiful rose red slippers. One day, while she is bathing, an eagle comes out of nowhere and steals one of her rose red slippers (of which she was particularly fond) and makes off with it. The beautiful girl weeps bitterly over the loss, but resigns herself to it.

In the meantime the eagle (Horus' sacred bird) flies toward Memphis, (Egypt, not Tennessee) where Pharoah is currently. The bird swoops down over the courtyard and drops the slipper where Pharoah can see it. And, for some reason, because he thought the slipper was SO beautiful it MUST belong to a most beautiful woman. Which doesn't make much sense, because ugly girls like beautiful things too... Anyway, he determines to find said beautiful woman and issues a decree that they sure all of Egypt to find her.

For the rest of the story go to http://saraicrazyblog.blogspot.com/2010/03/few-interesting-bits.html (My previous blog post! :P)

4. The Old Hag's Long Leather Bag (Ireland)
This story never fails to amuse me. Partially because of the repetitive and exhaustive rhyming and the crazy. Mostly the crazy.

This story starts with a young widow who has all of her money stolen by an old woman passing herself off as a maid. Because of this the young woman and her three young daughters are forced to live hand to mouth for many years. When the time comes for the oldest of the three daughters to go out into the world she tells her mom to bake her a bannock (or at least that is what my version says, the version I found online definitely does not follow my story as closely) and send her on her way. Her mother asks if she will take a half of the bannock with her blessing or all of it without. Being greedy, the eldest daughter takes the whole without.

The oldest daughter goes into the world and meets up with an old woman. The old woman says she needs a maid and asks if the daughter will work for her. The daughter agrees and the old woman says, clean everything, but on your life do not look up the chimney (does that sound familiar?). The daughter promises. And for a few weeks she refrains from looking up the chimney. One day, however, while the old woman is out (playing bingo or attempting to cook Hansel and Gretel perhaps) the eldest daughter looks up the chimney. Inside she sees a long leather bag. She pulls it down and discovers her mother's entire fortune!

Well, obviously she takes off immediately with the long leather bag to go back to her mother and sisters. Along the way, however she meets many interesting things. Including a horse, a windmill, a goat, a sheep, a cow and a kiln.

Each one asks her for a favor and she refuses each time. When the old woman finally comes home and discovers her bag is gone she asks each animal/item the same question. The question goes like this (though not in the link I will give you, because as aforementioned they didn't follow my version):
"Horse of mine, have you seen this maid of mine? With my tig, with my tag, with my long leather bag and all the gold and silver I have earned since I was a maid?" And because the eldest daughter was not nice and helped out the Horse would reply with she went that way.

She eventually catches the girl (she is asleep inside the windmill) and she strikes her with her cane turning her into a stone (the old woman isn't called a hag for nothing!).

Cut to the second daughter. Its been a year, so obviously her sister must be doing well and she decides she is going out into the world too. She also takes the whole bannock without her mother's blessing and meets up with the old woman. She also promises not to look up the chimney and eventually does. She also discovers her mother's fortune and takes off with it. And, just like her older sister, she isn't kind to the things she meets along the way.

Because of this she, too, ends up turned into a stone inside of the windmill.

Its now been two years since the eldest daughter left and a year since the middle daughter left. Obviously this is a sign that they are doing so well that they don't have to write home. The youngest daughter decides to follow their idea by going out into the world. Except, she takes the half a bannock with her mother's blessing, unlike her two greedy sisters.

So, because she is obviously different from her sisters, when the time comes that she is running back home with her mother's fortune she naturally stops to help those along the way that ask for help.

When the old woman follows suit, she asks: "Horse of mine, have you seen this maid of mine? With my tig, with my tag, with my long leather bag and all the gold and silver I have earned since I was a maid?" and the horse basically says, "Do you think I have nothing better to do than to keep track of your maids?"

To find out what happens to the nice daughter and the two stones in the windmill you may follow this link: http://www.fantasy-web.com/kidskorner/bag.htm

5. Marya Morevna (Russia)
The story of Marya Morevna starts off with Prince Ivan. Prince Ivan has three beautiful sisters and he just inherited the kingdom of Russia. His sisters are, one by one, married off to some awesome shapeshifting princes and Ivan finds himself incredibly alone.

One day, while walking around on a battlefield, Ivan encounters the beautiful Warrior Princess Marya Morevna. He immediately falls in love with her and they get married. They live happily for a long time, but one day Marya decides that she must leave to fight someone or other and she makes Ivan promise not to go into a closet (or the upper turret, depending on which version you read. Also, doesn't that sound really familiar?). He promises, however, as soon as she is gone he totally opens it.

Inside he finds Koshchei the Deathless in chains, except Ivan doesn't know that. He just sees a withered old man who is begging for food and drink because Marya hasn't given him either in 10 years. Obviously, Ivan gives him water. Once Koshchei drinks up all the water he breaks his chains and vows to kidnap Marya. He takes off and poor Ivan realizes what an idiot he has been.

Not deterred by the creepy deathless dude that just escaped his wife's closet, Ivan vows to go after Marya and save her from Koshchei. On his journey to save his wife he decides to stop by and visit his three sisters as well. He explains to them and his brothers-in-law what has happened and each brother-in-law asks Ivan to leave something of his behind. Presumably to remember him by.

Anywho, eventually he finds Marya Morevna. He tells her that they should leave and that she should forgive him, though I wouldn't blame her if she didn't, since god only knows what Koshchei has been doing to her since he captured her.

However, Koshchei is not only Deathless, but he has a magical talk horse as well that stumbles when there is trouble. So Koshchei asks it what's going on? and the horse replies with one of my favorite lines in a story (partially because it is totally unnecessary and partially because it is ridiculous):

"It is possible to sow wheat, to wait 'til it grows up, to reap it and thresh it, to grind it to flour, to make five pies of it, to eat those pies, and then to start in pursuit - and even then to be in time."

So obviously, Koshchei catchs them. He tells Ivan that because he gave him water, he will spare him this time. He will even spare him the second time. However, if he attempts to rescue his wife a third time Koshchei will personally chop him into itty-bitty pieces.

Un-dettered by this threat. Ivan obviously rescues his wife again. The horse once again says something ridiculously impossible that they could do and still catch them and Koshchei once again says he will forgive Ivan. However, next time he will cut him up.

And again Ivan rescues Marya, so Koshchei chops him into little bits. Not only does he chop him into little bits though, Koshchei puts those bits into a barrel, covers the barrel with pitch and iron hoops and drops it in the middle of the ocean.

Now, as soon as that barrel falls into the ocean, the items Ivan left with his brothers-in-law turn black. Obviously this is a bad thing and the brothers-in-law set off to rescue their slightly derpy brother-in-law, Ivan.

The rest of the story can be found at http://www.horrormasters.com/Text/a3085.pdf

There you have it, my top 5 favorite fairy tales of all time. Expect more fairy tales sometime in the future, as I am a huge lover of fairy tales and fantasy. Nothing like a story where a little girl has her hands chopped off by her own father (which is apparently a parable about incest).

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Buckaroo Banzai across the Eighth Dimension

This is something new I'm trying out. I am going to be posting a blog (every now and then) about some 80's movies I have seen and enjoyed. They are all ridiculous (mostly because of bad 80's fashion), but some of them are ridiculous in a good way. Take, for example, the following movie.

If you have never heard of the movie "The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the Eighth Dimension" you don't even know what you are missing. Besides who could resist a title like that?

Here is a sample of what you are missing:
* Romance
* Aliens
* A bunch of people with the name John
* Worst Eighties styles ever
* Un-real Science
and...
* Peter Weller when he was young and fucking hot.

The Trailer


If that didn't impress you here are some quotes from the film:
- "May I pass along my congratulations for your great interdimensional breakthrough. I am sure, in the miserable annals of the Earth, you will be duly enshrined." - Lord John Whorfin (played by John Lithgow)

- "Sealed with a curse as sharp as a knife. Doomed is your soul and damned is your life." - Lord John Whorfin

- "I've been ionized, but I'm okay now." - Buckaroo Banzai (played by Peter Weller)

- "Why is there a watermelon there?" - New Jersey (played by Jeff Goldblum)

- "You're like Jerry Lewis, you give me hope to carry on, then you leave me in the lurch while you strap on your six-guns..." - Penny Priddy (played by Ellen Barkin)

- "Buckaroo, I don't know what to say. Lectroids? Planet 10? Nuclear extortion? A girl named 'John'?" - President Widmark (played by Ronald Lacey)

- "Buckaroo, The White House wants to know is everything ok with the alien space craft from Planet 10 or should we just go ahead and destroy Russia?" - Mission Control (played by Kent Perkins)
"Tell him yes on one and no on two." - Buckaroo Banzai
"Which one was yes, go ahead and destroy Russia... or number 2?" - Mission Control

- "No, she's not. Now, let her out and give her your coat." - Buckaroo Banzai
"Why me?" - Perfect Tommy (played by Lewis Smith)
"Because you're perfect." - Buckaroo Banzai
"You have a point there." - Perfect Tommy

Some things you must know about this movie (besides what I already told you)

*SPOILERS*
Buckaroo Banzai is not only a Neurosurgeon, but he is also a Rock star, Crime fighter, Superhero, Genius who is half Japanese (even though Peter Weller doesn't look Asian at all). Did we mention that he is an inventor too?

His wife died, but that's okay because he falls in love with her twin sister, Penny Priddy, who didn't even know that she had a twin! Don't you love those 80's twists?

Perfect Tommy is Perfect.

Apparently all Aliens are named John. Even the girls.

What kind of name do these wonderful crime fighters have for their group? The Hong Kong Cavaliers. ^^

And one of my favorite parts of the movie is the Credits. Why? Because I like the music and its fun to watch the entirety of the crew walking in their bad 80's clothes. Did I mention Perfect Tommy was perfect? Well, he is also shirtless... O.O So, for your enjoyment, the credits!!

Credits


Thus concludes my blog. I'm Sarai, this is my blog and I am out like the Eighth Dimension.

Thursday, February 03, 2011

Shakespeare in Harlem

Langston Hughes

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Langston Hughes was a poet, playwright and writer. His first poem, "The Negro Speaks of Rivers", was written in 1920 just after he graduated from High School.

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Some Interesting Facts
* Hughes went to school for a short time for engineering before quitting and traveling to Europe and Africa.

* There are several articles that debate whether or not Hughes was a homosexual or an asexual individual.

* Hughes died of Prostate Cancer in 1967.

* His full name was James Mercer Langston Hughes.

* Hughes spent some time in Russia, supposedly to experience Communism first hand which he reportedly supported.

* Often called "Poet Laureate of Harlem".

Some Quotes from Langston Hughes
- "Well, I like to eat, sleep, drink, and be in love.
I like to work, read, learn, and understand life."

- "Hold fast to dreams,
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird,
That cannot fly."

- "Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it."

- "Yet the ivory gods, And the ebony gods, And the gods of diamond-jade, Are only silly puppet gods That people themselves Have made."

- "I swear to the Lord, I still can't see, Why Democracy means, Everybody but me."

- "The calm, Cool face of the river, Asked me for a kiss"

My Favorite Langston Hughes Poem

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Don't Make Me Turn this Blog Around

Woman declared legally dead TWICE.
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/nova-scotia/story/2010/03/17/ns-garden-of-eden-woman-dead.html

They may have found a way to cure breast cancer! ^^
http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/163367/Ice-cold-gas-kills-breast-cancerhttp://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/163367/Ice-cold-gas-kills-breast-cancer

There were six reported rapes in Florida during spring break. Last year there were at least 41 sexual assaults reported.
http://www.clickorlando.com/news/22862991/detail.html

Let's stand outside on a ledge while the transexual brothel we were just in burns behind us. Sound good to you? (This one has TWO links)
http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=1028266
http://www.aolnews.com/weird-news/article/naked-man-trapped-on-ledge-at-swiss-brothel/19403279

A body was found floating in a golf pond. The man is the apparently a missing Potato Chip heir.
http://abcnews.go.com/Business/body-found-golf-missing-potato-chip-scion/story?id=10119095

The question of what would a dog do if it caught the car is answered in the following article. Apparently he would just chew up the tires.
http://www.accessatlanta.com/celebrities-tv/determined-bulldog-chews-officer-372250.html?cxntlid=thbz_hm

North Korean Leader may not live to see 2013.
http://www.aolnews.com/story/report-nkorean-leader-may-not-survive/556377

An idiot gunman decided it would be smart to attack an already dead leader.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/russia/7457955/Gunman-tries-to-attack-Lenins-corpse-in-Red-Square.html

And a song to kind of fit my mood. "Don't Make Me" by Blake Shelton, who happens to be one of my all time favorite country singers. It will only let me give you the link and there are no other good videos, so ENJOY.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtBgkT2Sjzc