J-Rock Wizard of Oz (Chapter Thirteen)

Current mood: Crazy

Chapter Thirteen: Getting back Home Again


“So, I hear you have brought me the Button.” Said the booming voice.


“Yes, we killed her with tofu. Who knew something so delicious could be so deadly.” Said Sarai, shrugging her shoulders. The rest of the group looked at her as if she had lost her marbles, then focused their attention back on the wizard’s voice.


“Good. Well, come back in a few weeks and I’ll let you know if I’ll help you.”


“What?!” cried Pomme. “We went through all that trouble and you aren’t even going to help us?! You bastard.”


Just then Sarai noticed a curtain. Behind this curtain stood a shadow. A shadow with very eccentric hair, sticking out at all angles. Tip-toeing over she pulled back the curtain to reveal a short man, well obviously he was taller than Sarai, but shorter than everyone else in the room.


“Who are you?” demanded the group in unison.


“Why, I’m the wizard.” Replied the man.


“You don’t look like a wizard to me. Well, you do have the crazy hair down I suppose. Though, are wizards supposed to have that shade of orange in their hair?” said Pomme.


“What’s wrong with Orange?” asked the man indignantly.


“Nothing. Who are?” replied Sarai hastily.


“I’m Ruki. The wizard of J-Rock.”


“And you aren’t going to help us get home even though we just almost got eaten by a psycho bitch obsessed with shoes?” asked Sarai.


“No. I’m not. Because I don’t know how. You see, I lied. I’m not really the Wizard of J-Rock. I just pretend that I am. So far nobody has disputed my claim to the Wizard-hood, so I’m fine. I can’t help you get home at all. I’m a terrible person.” With this Ruki hung his head in shame and scuffed his shoes on the floor.


“Well if you aren’t the Wizard who is? And why did you want Twink’s button? And how the hell are we supposed to get home?” asked Pomme.


“Actually, you’ve already met the wizard. The wizard is hide. I wanted Twink’s button because it controls the flying platypi and, seriously, who doesn’t want an army of flying platypi at their disposal? And as to how you are to get home you will have to ask hide. I have no answers.” With this Ruki took the button and disappeared leaving the group alone to contemplate what he had said.


“Now, we’ll never get home.” Cried Pomme, slumping down against a wall.


“It’s okay Pomme, we’ll figure something out. Maybe we can find where hide has band practice and make him tell us how to get home.” Replied Sarai, leaning over to hug Pomme.


As the guys all slumped against the wall to hug the girls a bright pink bubble appeared in the middle of the room. With a burst of pink light hide appeared.


“So, I heard you still haven’t figured out how to use the magic in the shoes. I thought you were smart enough, but apparently not.” hide crouched down in front of Pomme, lighting a cigarette. “Don’t cry. I’ll tell you how to get home. You’ll need to stand up though.”


“Are you kidding? I don’t know if I can get up!” said Pomme, using Sarai and Gackt to boost her upward. “Okay, what do I do to get home?”


“Click your heels and whisper ‘There’s no place like Japan, There’s no place like Japan’ and you’ll be home. Oh and you sprinkle this pink spider glitter on yourselves.”


“And you couldn’t tell us that at the beginning why?!” cried Sarai.


“Well that wouldn’t have been any fun now would it? I knew you guys would make it, it was just fun to watch. I have a big screen crystal square and it gets great reception on you guys.”


“Wow. That was kind of a dick move, dude.” Said Pomme. She turned toward Sarai and the guys and gave a half smile. “Well, I guess it’s time to say our good-byes.”


First she hugged Yo, then Miyavi and finally Gackt.


“I think I’ll miss you most of all.” She whispered.


“What was that?” asked Yo and Miyavi.


“Nothing. Innocent, I’m innocent!” giggled Pomme, giving everyone another hug. After her second hug, Pomme flung some of the glitter into the air so that it settled on her and Sarai.


“AH!” exclaimed Yo. “You got some in my fur! Do you know how hard it is to glitter out of fur?! Fuck!”


“Oops. Sorry Yo!” said Pomme, trying to stifle a giggle. “Well Sarai, hug everyone so we can get out of here. I have had enough of these shoes!”


“Fine, fine.” Said Sarai. She then proceeded to hug Gackt, Miyavi and lastly Yo.


“You know, I was thinking. Maybe if I kissed you, you would turn back into a prince.” With that Sarai kissed Yo’s cheek. Lo and behold the magic worked and Yoshiki was turned back into a handsome prince.


“Thank You.” He said. “We will never ever forget you.”


With a few tears and a few more hugs, the girls held each other’s hands, closed their eyes, clicked their heels and whispered.


“Um, aren’t you forgetting the glitter?” said hide.


“We just did the glitter!” said Pomme.


“Well you need more of it! God, got to do everything myself.” Replied hide, snatching the glitter he flung it all over the girls.


When they opened their eyes, they were in the abandoned house they had ridden to the world of J-Rock, unharmed and full of wonder at their adventures.


When they finally made their way back to Auntie Fawn’s they were both given a severe scolding and several hugs.


“Oh, Auntie Fawn,” said Pomme. “I had the most wonderful dream and met the most wonderful people. And now I know, there is no place like Japan.”


THE END

J-Rock Wizard of Oz (Chapter Twelve)

Current mood: Animated

Chapter Twelve: How to Kill a Bitch


“Well my pretty,” said Twink. “See this beautiful hourglass? It has exactly two hours of sand in it. When it runs out you will become my dinner and I’ll have the shoes because you are dead. Isn’t that lovely?”


“You are one really sick bitch, you know that right?” replied Pomme, spitting at Twink.


Twink came up close, too close for Pomme’s taste because the smell of rot and hypocrisy made her gag, and grabbed Pomme’s chin forcing her to look into the Wicked Bitch’s eyes.


“Oh darling, You haven’t seen anything yet. Toodles!” And with that Twink disappeared, slamming the door behind her and locking it.


Left alone in the silence, Pomme finally began to really cry.


“I’m scared Auntie Fawn! I’m scared! God, I’m scared. I don’t know where Sarai is, she could have died from an asthma attack and I wouldn’t know. I don’t know where the guys are and I never got to tell Gackt that he is a great kisser, or to kiss him again. Auntie Fawn, Uncle Aoi! Help me, I don’t know what to do.”


“Auntie Fawn, Auntie Fawn!” cackled Twink, her horrifying visage appearing in the crystal triangle behind her. “Nothing is going to save you now lovely. By the way, do you want to be barbecued or slow roasted?”


With that, the image disappeared and Pomme was left alone to watch the sand falling and wait for death to arrive.


Sneaking up close, Sarai and the guys peeked over a little ledge to the fan-girls below. They were parading around showing off their strange clothes and even stranger make-up, while pretending to be guarding the castle.


“I have an idea!” exclaimed Sarai. “We’ll grab one of those girls and knock her out then take her clothes and make up and sneak in.”


“One problem, Sarai.” Said Yo.


“What’s that?”


“We aren’t girls.”


“Oh. That’s okay, you are effeminate enough that you’ll be able to pull it off. Hurry, we don’t have much time, God only knows what Twink is doing to her in there.”


The sand was slipping through faster and faster, Pomme began to really worry that no one was going to rescue her. The shoes were even more tempting to try to take off, but she couldn’t seem to figure out a way, it was as if they were a part of her DNA.


“Well, this sucks. At least I won’t have to be buried in these things, that’s something to be happy about at least.” She mumbled.


Finally a fan-girl came too close to the group and they knocked her out taking her make-up and clothes. Dressing themselves up, they snuck into the castle.


“Which way Sarai?” asked Yo.


“This way!” Sarai ran up some spiral stairs, swirling higher and higher into the castle until they came to a big wooden door.


“Pomegranate are you in there?” asked Miyavi, knocking on the door.


“Yes! I’m here, oh hurry, the hourglass is almost empty and she wants to freaking cook me!”


Using their brute strength, the boys and Sarai knocked down the door, then grabbing Pomme’s hand began to run back down the spiral stairs. Unfortunately, at the bottom was Twink and an entire army of fan-girls waiting.


“I can’t believe you thought it would be that easy!” cried Twink, laughing a horrible laugh.


“Well, I don’t either, considering how freaking hard this entire thing has been so far.” Replied Sarai.


“Shut up, Smart Ass.” Snapped Twink, her dull eyes flaring for one second. “Now you all will die. Slowly. I won’t have to worry about food for months, you will all do just fine.”


Thinking on her feet, Pomegranate spied a bucket of what looked like a thick white cheese. Quickly she picked it up and hurled the stuff onto Twink.


“Ah!” screamed Twink, steam rising off of her. “What the hell?! What have you done? Is this… It is! You threw TOFU on me! NO! My one weakness! What a beautiful world, all that wickedness and you had to destroy it with Tofu. How could a good little girl like you do such a thing.”


The steam continued to rise off of Twink until all that was left was her horrible clothing, the “Meat is Murder” button and the stench of Herpes. With that, the Wicked Bitch of the West died.


“Quick,” cried Sarai. “Grab the button and let’s get the hell out of here! The fan-girls don’t seem too happy!”


Quickly Gackt grabbed the button and grabbed Pomme’s hand, dragging her toward the exit. They fled from the castle and somehow managed to lose the fan-girls in the mix.


Exhausted and happy, the group arrived back at the Wizard’s castle where a slightly bored Trent led them to the throne room to speak with the Wizard.