Never Ceasing.

Human stupidity and arrogance never ceases to amaze (and annoy) me.

We are all human. Therefore, when we say "We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal..." shouldn't that mean EVERYONE? Since, "all men" is the equivalent of "mankind" which means EVERYONE.

Am I the only one who thinks that makes sense? Am I the only one who thinks about how we escaped from England because there was no separation of church and state? How often Religion blinds us, because we never follow it the way it is supposed to be followed?

I'm sorry, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe when Jesus said to "love thy neighbor as thyself" he was talking about killing people for being different and denying them the right to marry and denying them food and healthcare. I'm sorry, I missed that part of that verse.

I must've misinterpreted the portions where Jesus spoke of feeding the hungry and clothing the naked. And treating "the least of these." I thought Jesus fed people, with no payment. I thought Jesus healed people, without payment.

I thought God was supposed to be loving. Did I miss something? Are we living in an Old Testament scenario? God in the Old Testament; Jealous, cruel, homophobic, racist (Racism is funny coming from God, because God is the one who created us...), etc. Do we really want to worship someone who orders small children and women to be enslaved or murdered?

I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be offensive, but it irritates me.

And I keep hearing Simon and Garfunkel in my head singing about Freedom Riders, and thinking about Civil Rights and how we just keep killing because we don't know how to love and we don't know how to accept.

I keep hearing my marriage vows and wondering why some are denied the right while others abuse it.

It's Time

As many of you know, I am a huge supporter of LGBTQ rights and the freedom of Marriage. The ability to marry who you want, whether you are Gay or Not. Transgendered or Not. Straight or Not.

Love is LOVE.

It's time. To quote a friend of mine, "Let us be the generation that changes the world for the better."

Freedom For Everyone. Love.

The Real Happy Ending

So LED posted this video on her Facebook page and I absolutely LOVE it! It is perfect in everyway really! (I don't really agree with his assessment of Obama, but it is hilarious in context!)

For your enjoyment, the real story behind the Disney happy endings!

Thunderman's Megacats!

Me: To quote myself (this was written to explain one of my poems I wrote when I was 15):
"The title was inspired by one of my favorite movies of all time called 'The Ghost and the Darkness', which I used to watch any time I was really depressed because for some reason watching lions eat people made me feel better."

Sam: ....I watched that yesterday...I'm beginning to fear you stalk me :P

Jeff: So um, remind me not to cross you. Any time I'm crossing you, just be like "Yo Jeff, you crossin'." Thanks...

Me: To be fair I wrote that comment 3 years ago.
Ah Sam, I'm not stalking you! You are currently too far for me to stalk you!

Sam: Perhaps you stalked me prematurely....do you own a time machine?

Me: Sh! Its a secret!! *clears throat*
No, I don't have a time machine. That's just silly. :P

Jeff: Sarah stalks people... like a lion. Enjoys lions eating people... like a lion... Sarah is a lionman!


Sam: Well....crap.... a timetravelling lionman, for all we know Sarah IS those lions! And enjoyed it like watching home cinema!!!!

Me: Shouldn't that link be to "Thundercats" instead of "MegaMan?"

Sam: Thunderman's Megacats!

Jeff: That's the lionman episode of Mega Man.

Me: It all makes sense now!
*watches the video* I am DEFINITELY cooler than that Lionman, just saying.

Sam: You eat people!!! How is that cooler?!

Jeff: Why would you tell a ravenous lionman-woman that eats people she isn't cooler than a non-people-eating lionman?

Me: Did you SEE his plan?! He is all "Let's turn everyone into Lion-creatures!" That is the WORST plan ever. Turn everyone into Lion creatures? Why don't I just enslave humanity to my awesome Lion-ness? Because that isn't my plan... You know what, forget I said anything. That plan is brilliant.

Sam: I am sooooo far away itsok....you might wanna start running Jeff...just incase.

Me: Yeah, it might take me a bit longer to get to Scotland...

Jeff:  Nah it's cool. We had a good chat and she will totally be like "You crossin'" before she eats me. If I can't trust the silence of a ravenous lionbeast as agreement, then who or what can I trust in life?

Sam: Wait! Vampriratic Lionman!?! Turning people into lions! What just happened!!!

Me: EXACTLY!
Also, Jeff, of COURSE you can trust me! I mean, why would you disbelieve anything a ravenous Lion-monster that may or may not be plotting to take over the world and enslave humanity says?

Sam: Crossin huh....I'd be cautious....all I'm getting is Zebra Crossin....sounds like lunch :/

Me: That, was a good one. Sam gets to live a bit longer. :P

Jeff: I wouldn't have made it this far in life if I couldn't handle the occasionally feline she-beast trying to murder me.

Me: "Sizzling Circuits!"

Sam: Wow.....it's too late for me to read....I just read'scissoring circus'.... it's time I leave.
Good luck Jeff!!

Me: Scissoring circuits could work too, but somehow I don't think that would be quite as "child appropriate" lol

Jeff: Kids these days always cutting themselves on scissors... Good point!

Sam: I don't think vampiratic people eating lionmen with timetravelling capabilities is appropriate..but tell that to Dr Who.

Me: You know, I have nothing else quite as impressive to say now. Thank you for that.

Sam: You're welcome :D

A Choice

I've stopped wearing the hijab. I won't attempt to "try out" any other religions. At least not in the near future. It isn't so much the giving up, as it is the emotional upheaval that bothers me.

I want so desperately to believe in something, but I don't. And wanting to believe in something and actually believing in something aren't the same thing. In the end it felt like a lie. A desperate attempt on my part to be something more than I am. Maybe I was never meant to be a religious person. Maybe I was never meant to defend or protect or change anything. Maybe I was just meant to be me.

I was torn. Torn between my defiance in the face of adversity and my heartbreak in discovering that I couldn't put my faith in something I can't see. Not again. Even though I fiercely defended it with everything I had in me. I would still defend it. I will defend any religion (except Scientology, but that is because it is not a "real" religion), to the death if necessary. I will defend anyone who wishes to practice those religions. I have a great appreciation for them. A deep love for the thoughts and the practices and the motions. I just can't do them myself.

I may still wear the hijab in private. Just between myself and whatever god or goddess may exist out there. Maybe the all exist. Sekhmet, Jesus, Krishna, Allah, Athena, etc. Maybe they all exist and that is why the world is so insane. Too many cooks in the kitchen.

I have learned a lot, which is what I originally stepped out of my shell to do. I force myself into the open to learn, to take it all in. To force a change in myself that I feel needs to happen. And I have walked away with a thought.

I never knew prejudice before now.

Oh, I understood it. On a level that most people do. It was abhorrent and wrong. But it is different when you step over the line and see what it is like to be on the side actually living with it. Living under it.

I lost track of how many times someone asked "Where are you from?" and they didn't mean what state. I had people refuse to let me wait on them. I had people call me all sorts of names. My life was threatened at one point. It was that that made me want to continue, even when I knew I had lost the heart of it. I didn't want to give up and let them win. Let them be the reason I was giving up. I haven't given up, though. It wasn't them. It was my inability to continue lying to myself. I have accomplished part of what I set out to do. I saw what it was like.

Shams (a Muslim friend who moved to the states from Bangladesh) told me once that I couldn't understand what he went through. And I will never fully understand what he goes through, because his experiences will be different from mine, but I have had a taste.

I've rambled now. It's the migraine that keeps coming back. I just keep circling the same thoughts over and over.

America

"Why did you even come here?" she snarled, her lips twisting in anger. "You don't belong. None of you do."

"I've come, looking for America." I replied, my English pained and stilted. How could I ever explain that my dreams were filled with this place, filled with all the joys and dreams of generations? How could I explain her own great-grandparents' joy and desperation as they crossed the waters, their eyes searching for the bright torch of Liberty?

This land, soaked with dreams and tears, the hopes of generations drenching the earth until it is burgeoning with it. Like a rose in full bloom. And, like a rose, the thorns of prejudice pierce my fragile skin. They all stare at me, their eyes full of hatred and bias. I can't describe the dream that I followed here. The belief that I fought so hard to maintain.

The dream that America is a mother with her arms flung open wide to embrace her weary children. The torch of home burning through the mists and the fog, the moon competing with it. With this belief, we ran and fought, screaming and dying for the dream of America. A dream of freedom and liberty. A dream of acceptance and love beyond our faults. The dreams being crushed in the fists of the woman in front of me.

She hates me, for no reason other than I am different. I am not from here. I am not "American." I've lived here for five years now, I'm only a short way away from being a full citizen, but I'll never be "American." I'll never be what she believes I should be because I am different, because I was not born here.

I ignore her, my eyes straying toward the torch held aloft. I smile, though the tears are dripping down my face, stung by her words and the dreams that slowly die. The light I followed here, to escape the starvation and the crush of dreams deferred, has been burnt out for years. The America I dreamed is a dream that has died. I close my eyes and feel the incessant throb in my chest, my broken heart refusing to give up on this dream.

I look into the eyes of Liberty, her torch held aloft. Her words echo in the still waters of my mind. "Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free; The wretched refuse of your teeming shore, Send these, the homeless, Tempest-tossed to me I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

I've gone to look for America.

Love is Love

Love is Love. No matter who you are. No matter who you love. Love is Love.

Bisexual Bias

The following is my response to an article written by a student at Indiana University. You can read the article for yourself at:
http://www.idsnews.com/news/story.aspx?id=90666

Dear Sir,
In regards to your article "Bisexual bias" in the IDS, I would like to say a few things.

"I’ve had a saying for a few years now. Bisexuals are like unicorns. You really want them to exist. But they just don’t."
1. Comparing a bisexual person to unicorns is mostly, if not entirely, ridiculous.
There are many cases in which unicorns can have existed, thus leading one to believe that you are saying bisexual homo sapiens do, in fact, exist.

Examples: If we were to go completely old school Biblical on the matter, if you are one who believes in the Bible, you would find there are several verses involving the unicorn. This might lead one to believe that you were saying that bisexuals at one time existed, but don't any longer. For your in-depth research (which I am sure you did for your article) verses involving unicorns can be found in the KJV Bible, said verses being: Numbers 23:22, Job 39:9, Psalms 29:6, Job 39:10, Numbers 24:8 and Psalms 92:10.

Or, if you don't believe in the Bible, we can look at the Narwhal, oft considered the Unicorn of the Sea or any other animal with one horn.
    *The word "unicorn" stems from early 13th century Old French "unicorne" and from Late Latin "unicornus" meaning, quite literally, "having one horn." Uni- meaning "one" plus cornus meaning "horn." If we go with this, that means that anything having one horn is considered a unicorn, making them quite real in the etymological sense of the word.

I'm sure, however, that you meant them in the purely fairy tale sense of the word, being a horse with a lion's tail, a single horn protruding from its head and a billy goat's beard (or, if you prefer, Pliny's version: a creature with a horse's body, deer's head, elephant's feet, lion's tail, and one black horn two cubits long projecting from its forehead). Or maybe you meant it in the allegorical sense, which was used as a tool by the Christians to teach morals. Such morals being that a Unicorn can only be tamed by a virgin (virgin in almost any sense of that word), the Unicorn being Christ in certain tales. And dire consequences for those who pretended to be virgin as they were skewered on the horn of the beast. That doesn't seem to fit quite as neatly as your original simile, but if we're talking of backwards philosophies it seems to fit quite nicely.

"It’s very difficult in our society to believe in something as free-spirited as bisexuality."
2. It also seems very difficult, in our society, to believe in Love and Marriage being uninhibited by things such as age, sexual preferences, gender, race, religion, etc. Love is apparently tethered to concrete ideas and laws. "Free-spirited" makes it sound as though it is a childish thing. Sexuality isn't an idea that we follow, like the Flower Power movement. Sexuality is not Hippies in the summer of '69. It is a deep and personal thing, grounded in one's sense of self. It is something we all find inside of ourselves. It is longing to be with another person in the most intimate way, sharing bodies and things that no one wants to talk about because they are "shameful."  And that longing is not restrained by your narrow view of the world.

"it’s threatening. For heterosexuals and homosexuals, we have to contend with only being attracted to half of the population. Those odds aren’t terrific. For someone who’s bisexual, the world is their genital oyster. It’s actually a very picturesque image. Men, women, who cares? I’m attracted to everyone."
3. I don't understand this part at all. You say it is threatening, bisexuality that is, but don't explain how it is threatening. How does bisexuality threaten your sexuality in any way? Truly, I'm curious. Explain to me, without Biblical or personal biases, how Bisexuality is threatening in any way, shape or form. You then say that the world is a "genital oyster." That is, not only, a vile pictorial image, but also shows just how little you understand about sexuality in general.

Yes, sexuality does, often involve, genitalia. However, there is so much more to sexuality than just sex. Sexuality is a strong basic instinct, a need, a desire, an attraction. It involves emotions and physical sensations. It can be impacted by the atmosphere one grows up in. It will never leave you. It is a key part of one's identity.

You make it sound almost as if sex meant nothing except, simply, getting one's rocks off. As if a bisexual is a selfish or greedy being for being attracted to more than one sex. Bisexuality is an attraction to either gender, that is true. But often the attraction is deeper than sexual. One can be attracted to anyone; beyond their gender, religion, sexual preferences, age, race, cultural background, etc. And what one finds sexually attractive doesn't even have to be human. There are those who are sexually attracted a person's mind or even inanimate objects. Wherever humans are involved there is no strict definition for sexuality. No strict definition for anything. We are more than the limits placed on us by other, simpler, creatures.

You say that "Those odds aren't terrific" when speaking of being "only" attracted to half of the population. Being attracted to only a man or only a woman isn't terrible. The odds are fine. In fact, when did odds even enter the picture? You make it sound like a race. As if we are all in a race with one another to see who is more attracted to who. It isn't a race. It isn't a game. There are no "odds." There are only people. People who love and hate, create and destroy, write good articles and shitty ones.

"Now, I am not bisexual."
4. Clearly.

"I also can’t assert assurance on things like Bigfoot, John F. Kennedy’s assassination or the contention of Jesus’ divinity."
5. I cannot say, with certainty that Bigfoot does or does not exist. JFK was, in fact, assassinated, though by whom is still up for debate. And whilst Jesus did exist, I cannot say with certainty that he was divine. However, I also can't say with certainty when we will die. I can't say that Coca Cola is the superior of all carbonated beverages. Nothing in this life is particularly certain. Truth is defined by who is looking at it, not by what it actually is.

"The real issue has to do with the male psyche and sexuality."
6. Yes, yes it does. At last, something we agree on! It DOES have to do with the Male psyche and sexuality. Men are generally insecure about their sexuality, no matter their preferences. Everything about sex makes one insecure. The length and width of his organ, whether he is doing well, how quickly he can reach orgasm, etc. Men are generally quite insecure with anything having to do with their own emotions and their being as well. I have yet to meet a man who is completely secure with being emotionally honest. Does that mean that he doesn't exist somewhere? Does that mean I am going to have to start writing wildly inaccurate articles on male emotions?

"The same notion just doesn’t extend to heterosexual women. You’d be hard pressed to find a straight woman finding the same sexual stimulation from watching two men go at it."
7. You, sir, clearly have never met a woman willing to talk about being aroused by two men "going at it" as you so delicately put it. I myself enjoy watching two men fornicate, kiss, etc. I find it arousing when a man kisses another man. The funny thing is that you would be "hard pressed" to find a straight woman who is NOT aroused by two men having sexual intercourse. There are numerous articles you can find about straight female arousal whilst watching male on male pornography, but I'm assuming you didn't actually try to find any. Your whole article suggests a lack of study on the topic at hand.

To quote a poster on one of the response brought up by my searches: "What I find hilarious, is that so many straight men assume that women don't find it erotic, just because THEY [men] don't."

"But after years of men grind stoning women’s sexuality to the fine powder it is today, why should anyone be the wiser? Two women going at it? Crack a beer and enjoy. Two men going at it? Ultimate party foul. It’s typically pretty hard to party once the gay bomb drops."
8. I don't understand that first sentence at all. "But after years of men grind stoning women's sexuality to the fine powder it is today," what does that even mean? Did you even edit this before posting it to such a public forum? And what do you mean by "grind stoning women's sexuality"?

Two women are having sex with one another and this is suddenly a party? Do men do that? They all get together and watch lesbian porn whilst drinking beer? Someone puts in a gay porno and then all bets are off? "Gay bomb?" Truly, your word choice is ridiculously childish.

"I can’t begin to believe in bisexuality in a society where men’s sexuality isn’t nearly as fluid as women’s."
9. The problem with men's sexuality being fluid has nothing to do with whether or not bisexuality exists, but lies (once again) with the male psyche. Men seem to have this preconceived notion that it is unacceptable for them to be bisexual. Out of all the homosexual and heterosexual men I have met it comes down to this idea that they have to choose. That there is no "this" and "that." It is all "this" OR "that." It astounds me, actually, the number of men who find some other men attractive, but won't do anything with that attraction because they also find women attractive. That is definitely a problem with today's society, you are correct on that part. Society says it is totally wrong to think or exist outside of the sexuality box it has created for us.

"Recently in Hollywood, loads of successful women have come out as bisexual."
10. Hollywood is DEFINITELY a good place to look for reality and facts. Plenty of people will say whatever it takes to become famous or to have the spotlight shine a bit brighter on them. That doesn't make it fact.

"But the future may be bright. Frank Ocean is one example of a successful man who’s admitted to having a relationship with a man."
11. I find it sad that the final breath of your article is a sarcastic, and pithy, "Men in the limelight aren't bisexual so no one can be bisexual."

I am a bisexual woman. I am proud of my sexuality and who I am as a person. I have a loving husband and a wonderful girlfriend. I can't imagine going through my life without either of them. There is more to my being attracted to them than their gender. More to my love for them than their genitalia. Its people like yourself, that raise the banners of prejudice and bias against what you don't understand and don't bother to understand.

sincerely,
Sarai.