All of Her: Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven
At a quarter to six, I am getting ready to meet up with Clark. I find I am doing little things to make myself look pretty. Things I haven't really done since David. I actually care what I wear to this dinner. I laugh at myself while I put on my white Manolo Blahnik Pepe open toed heels. I stop as I remember how David saved for months to buy them for me last Christmas. And, now that I'm thinking about it, Alice also received a pair, except in black.

Is it a curse? I keep remembering all these warning signs I should've recognized then. I'm pretty sure it is a curse that some angry God has put on me for not presenting the proper sacrifices. Or maybe it is my evil twin. Or I have multiple personalities that noticed all the signs and laughed maniacally while I kept running ahead like a blind dullard.

This has been going on for a long time. I have been fighting for David's affection whilst he was busy falling in love with my best friend. Ex best friend.

I miss that friendship. I miss her. I hate her. I hate her so much. I hate this. I hate her. I hate him. I hate, hate, hate. I think that's all I know how to feel, besides pain.

What did I ever do to her to deserve this? Did I fail her in some major way? Did I do something wrong to provoke this? For that matter, did I fail David? Was I not good enough in bed? Or a decent enough cook? What could I have possibly done wrong?

I find that I can't wear my shoes. In fact, I never want to see them again. I rip them off of my feet and shove them to the very back of the closet. Maybe I'll sell them on Ebay or something. For now I'm going to pretend they don't exist. I'm going to pretend that this whole situation is in my imagination. I'm not going to allow this terrible depression make me go flat like a flan in a cupboard.

I have a date. A date with a man who finds me attractive (and has proven so twice). A date that I should finish getting ready for.

Clark and I meet up at the restaurant at seven, like we agreed. He is dressed down, a bit of a shock to my system since I've only seen him naked or in a suit and tie. Thinking of him naked sends a wave of red across my face. I feel a little over dressed in comparison.

He is wearing dark blue jeans, a nice tee shirt and sandals. I ended up opting for a dressy pair of flip-flops, a black pencil skirt and a flowy blouse. He doesn't seem to mind, however. He smiles and I melt a little.

No. I am not allowed to do any melting. This is a fling. A scheme to have copious amounts of sex and relate to a break up song. Nothing more. I have to remember that.

He kisses my cheek and holds out his arm. I smile in response and slip my arm through his.

"I'm glad you were able to make it." He says, as we are escorted to our booth.

"Me too." I say. I smile, but I'm not sure what else to say. What does one say on a second date?

"Do you maybe want to go to a movie or something after this?" He asks.

"I don't think I want to see anything that is out right now. But a movie does sound nice. Have anything in particular in mind that we could possibly rent?"

"We don't have to rent, I have a rather large movie collection. Unless you want something particularly rare." He smiles and takes a sip of his Raki. He offers me a sip, but when it comes close to my nose my eyes start to well up. I'm thinking Raki isn't going to be my thing.

While I ponder what movie I might want to watch, we order. For myself, I order oven-baked trout with onions and tomatoes. As well as some dolma and tarator. My eyes may be a little too big for my stomach. Maybe.

Clark orders lamb. A cute little baby animal cooked and served with yogurt in some dish called Tavë kosi. Is that a good reason to use later to break up with him? Probably not. That seems a little shallow. Of course, maybe he thinks that trout are adorable little creatures and I'm a bad person for eating them. Another side to the coin, one might say.

I glance around after we order. I've never been to this particular restaurant before. I think it is pretty.

"What made you choose this restaurant?" I ask.

"Don't you like it?" He asks. He looks worried for a moment. I smile and brush the question off.

"I was just curious. I've never been to this particular restaurant before. I was wondering if you came here often."

He smiles and, visibly, relaxes. Its as if he was waiting for me to confirm something. Or maybe that is just me.

"I like this place quite a bit." He says. "When I was in college I used to come here to study. It has that cozy feel about it, I guess."

He shrugs then and takes another sip of his Raki. I wonder, briefly, if this second date is as awkward as it feels or if it is just me. Is he having trouble making conversation too? Or is it just me? Is it warm in here?

"Are you okay?" He asks. He looks rather concerned. Have I suddenly gone bright red?

"Yes," I say. "I'm a little warm. And awkward."

"Awkward?"

"I have a small confession," I say. I open my mouth to explain why I feel so awkward. I close it again as I suddenly feel a little paralyzed. I see David and Alice come into the restaurant. I can't breathe. Really, out of all the restaurants in this town, they had to pick this one?

"What is it, Abra?"

"I have to go to the bathroom." I quickly stand up and attempt to look like I'm not fleeing. Which, I actually am.

"Wait, Abra," I turn just in time to see him stand up, his napkin clutched in one hand and his other reaching out as if he was trying to catch me. It is movie perfect, really. The girl running away and the boy reaching out to rescue her, but he doesn't catch her.

I reach the bathroom, only to discover that it is currently occupied. Stupid one room bathrooms! I did a dance that vaguely looks like an "I need to pee" dance. Its not that though. I'm afraid that Alice is going to have to "powder" her nose. When we were younger we always said that upon entering a restaurant. We'd giggle and grab each other's hands, run to the bathroom and sit on the counter for a few minutes doing our make-up and laughing.

We kissed once. Alice and I. We had gone to "powder" our noses, like so many other times before. It was a beautiful little bathroom in a tiny, out of the way, kind of Italian restaurant on Main street. The Beautiful Life, it said in fancy script above the tiny divan. We pretended we were fancy ladies attending a party, sitting on the divan and play acting. Moving through our rituals of make-up and laughter.

I'm not sure how we ended up kissing, it was such a strange moment. We were talking and then we weren't. We suddenly went very quiet, as if we were going to be overheard. And then, just as suddenly, we kissed. Our lips softly pressed together, a crimson blush staining both of our cheeks, our eyes closed. We stayed in that pose for a moment and then we never did it again. We never spoke of it, never mentioned it. It was as if we were ashamed of it.

Finally, after what just felt like an eternity of nostalgic reminiscing, the door to the bathroom opens and I practically knock the woman exiting out of the way. I don't slam the door. On purpose, anyway. I'm sure Clark is dying of embarrassment, I've made such a scene. I can't help it. I may lose all my self-respect if I break down out there now.

Who am I kidding? Since when do I have any self-respect?

I hear a knock at the door. I stay quiet a moment. The handle jiggles, I locked it. There is a knock again and a voice.

"Is someone in there?"

That's Alice now. I knew it wouldn't be long. Oh, but I've just trapped myself in here. There isn't a window out and I am going to have to go past her to get back to my seat. Shit.

"Just a minute." I try to disguise my voice a little. Not that it matters, because she is going to see me in a moment. Why bother?

Maybe I can use this to my advantage? I am with Clark, after all. I can act like I'm fine. Maybe make David a little jealous in the process. Doubtful, but worth a try anyway.

Shoulders back, Abra. You are brave, you are strong. You can do this. Right?

I take a deep breath as I open the door. Alice is looking down at her phone. She looks up at me, the smile fading so fast it might as well not have been there.

"Oh, hello, Alice! How are you?" I say, grinning like an idiot, I'm sure.

"A-a-abra?" I've never known her to stutter. She is blushing too, probably remembering my boobs right now. Or our long forgotten kiss.

"Coming to powder your nose, I see. The mirror is perfect for that." I hold the door open and gesture for her to enter. When we were friends I would've joined her, even though it is only a one room bathroom. She stares at me. You'd think I'd grown another head or something the way she is staring.

"Aren't you going in?" I say. She nods, her mouth a little agape. Once she has her back turned, I release the door and nonchalantly go back to my sit.

"What the hell is going on?" Clark whispers vehemently.

"Nothing." I say, sitting quietly and smiling at the waiter as he delivers our food.

"That sure didn't look like nothing, darling. What is going on?" He is upset and its my fault. I shouldn't act like this. I should know better.

"I'll explain later, I promise. Just not here and not now. Trust me?" I keep my smile pasted on my face. I look ridiculous. All of this is fucking ridiculous, but I'm not the one who decided to betray my fiance or my best friend.

Dinner is very quiet. Every now and then I glance over at David and Alice. They don't even notice me. They are canoodling, like they were that day on the beach. When they broke my heart. Clark watches me watching them. He begins to look like he understands. I don't think he likes what he is understanding.

I don't have the bravery to pretend, like I thought I would back when I was in the bathroom. I can't use Clark like that. It doesn't matter anyway, its not like they are even paying attention. They are too wrapped up in each other. It must be so nice, not having to hide their love anymore. Being able to meet in the open and not worry about me finding out.

Clark pays for dinner and we are silent as we walk to his car. The smells of downtown linger in my nose and the lights in the trees twinkle. I think about how perfect this setting is for making out. Just standing on the sidewalk, our bodies pressed close and our lips the only things moving.

"Explain." He says, interrupting my thoughts.

"I don't want to."

He grabs my shoulders and I find my back pressed against the side of his car. I am both aroused and unnerved.

"I like you, Abra. I really do. I would like to see you often. I'd even enjoy being your boyfriend, but this is not the way to start a relationship. I can't even be your friend if you won't tell me what is going on."

"I don't even know where to start." I say, trying to shake him off.

"Start somewhere and we'll piece it together. Please. I'm not just feeding you a line when I say that I want to be your boyfriend. I'm not just saying shit to get with you again. I enjoyed our time together and I'd like it to continue. I just can't do it if I don't understand what's going on. What happened in the restaurant?"

"I saw my ex." I say, simply.

"Okay. I've had bad break-ups. Why didn't you just ask if we could leave? I wouldn't have cared. We could've gone to any other restaurant."

"I don't know. I freeze when I see him. When I see who he is with. We were together ten years, Clark. We were getting married. He left me at the altar. He left me for my best friend and I just don't know how to deal with it. He was it. My all, my only lover, the only person I could ever see myself with. You're the only other person I've been with.

"I was going to tell you that I felt awkward because I'd never dated anyone else. And what David and I had can't be called 'dates' in the technical sense. We've just always been together. But I looked up and he and my ex-best friend walked in and all I could think was escape. It doesn't matter though, I missed my opportunity for a clean get away. I'm sorry for that. I kind of fucked everything up."

He stares at me for a moment, his grip on my shoulders loosens. I feel something cold running down my cheek. I don't have to touch it to know that its a tear and that I've started crying. Again. Then, I am encompassed in his arms, my face buried in his chest and his hand entangled in my hair. He holds me like that for several minutes. I don't mind. I like being close to him.

"Let's go back to my place and have a few drinks. We can watch a movie, like we were talking about earlier." He says. I nod and wipe a few stray tears from my face as I pull away.

He kisses me. It is amazing how gorgeous the world becomes when you are being kissed by someone who knows what they are doing. When he stops, I almost beg him not to. I'd much rather stand here and kiss him. I would much rather have this feeling stay, rather than being reminded of all the terrible feelings I've had of late.

He holds me close again.

"Be my girlfriend, Abra. Let me make you happy." He whispers. I pull back and look at him. He is so serious right now. I smile and nod. I don't know if he can make me happy, but I want to be with him. At least for now.

When we go back to his place, we snuggle up on the couch and watch a Cary Grant movie. I think I could fall in love with Clark, if only I wasn't so determined not to. Maybe I can change my mind. Maybe I can pretend that my heart has never been torn out of my chest. I can pretend it is still there. I could. But I don't know if I want to.

For now, I am content to just be his girlfriend.

All of Her: Chapter Six

I hesitate. I don't want to answer the door, but I don't want Noah to do it either. It isn't fair that I force him to answer my problems when they come knocking. I wish I could I just run to my bedroom. What used to be our room. Used to be our sanctuary from reality.

I can’t believe I’m still dying over all this. Of course, I should be a little easier on myself. After all it was a ten year mistake. I could’ve been doing something else useful during that time. Like not being in love with a jerk that dumped me at the altar. Like being my own independent and beautiful person. I could’ve been doing all that. Maybe married now with a baby on the way, with a man who appreciated me and loved me more than anyone else. Maybe in a different scenario I would end up with someone like Clark Samson, instead of just playing around.

I'm rambling and David is still waiting on the other side of the door.

Before I can say anything, my hesitation gets the better of me and Noah answers the door, allowing me to escape to my room. I'm such an idiot. I bang my head against the door and immediately regret it. Why did I do that? Because that is just as intelligent as forcing my best friend to have to deal with my ex. I'm a coward. Good Job, Abra. You're doing well, aren't you?

I hear the door close and I sneak back out toward the living room, peering around the corner. Noah is holding something in his hands. He seems irked, but no more than he was before. Of course, that was at me, maybe his displeasure has been aimed elsewhere by David's, oh so, inconvenient interruption. Well, inconvenient for Noah.

“What did he want?” I ask. Though, I'm pretty sure I know. Rent is due tomorrow.

“He was dropping off his portion of the rent. He was in a very sour mood.” Which explains why Noah looks annoyed. He hands me the check.

I can't help but smile at it. Like an idiot, I might add. I can't help that it still makes me giggle that he is stuck with me until the end of the lease. Or I find a roommate. Either way he gets to be uncomfortable for a little longer and I get to feel like I'm taking some small portion of vengeance.

“What is going on with you, Abra? What is going on inside your head? You are acting strange.” He pauses and then adds, “Okay, stranger than normal. Seriously, though. What is going on?”

“I’ve decided I no longer care, that's all.” I say, moving toward the kitchen. I realize I can’t continue living here, too many bad and wonderful memories. The lease is up in two months or so. I should start packing now.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Noah grabs my shoulders and turns me to face him. “Tell me, Abe. We’ve been friends for a long time; don’t try to diminish that by pretending that I don’t know that something is wrong.”

“I slept with Clark Samson last night. That is what you want to hear, isn’t it? I slept with him and I enjoyed it. For the first time since David, I really and truly enjoyed myself. I enjoyed it more than I ever did with David. And I’m not going to hold back from experiencing it with other people.”

“Oh babe, you aren’t going to find what you are looking for that way.” He looks disappointed. I hate that look.

“What am I looking for, Noah? What am I looking for that I can’t find in the arms of another man? Or woman, as the case may or may not be.”

“You do know that sex doesn’t equal love, right? That it doesn’t equal fulfillment or anything like that?” He looks at me very seriously. Of course I know these things. But for a few moments it’s easy enough to believe that sex does equal those things. For a few moments the whole world melts away and you can make-believe that you are in love and fulfilled. Well, filled anyway.

“I’m not doing it to get fulfillment, Noah. Nor am I seeking love. Love is a poison and I’ve had enough of it. I’ve just decided to live out some of those break-up songs that I hear on the radio. I’ve just decided to date who I want and then decide when I’m done. I’ve decided to do what I want, because I’ve lost all desire to care.”

“You are going to date people in the hopes that it will end up matching a situation in a break-up song? Doesn’t that seem a little stupid to you?”

“Well, yes. But the idea of not caring any more because of one relationship seems a little stupid too.” I shake myself out of his grip and start marching toward my bedroom.

“No, that is the only part that makes sense!” He says. He follows me to my bedroom. “David is the only man you’ve ever been with. Well, was the only man you had ever been with. It is not that strange that you would be devastated by the break-up. I mean, you almost married him! Of course you are going to be numb and not care. I felt the same way after my break-up with Matthias. Surely you remember how devastated I was. I couldn't eat or sleep. I was a nervous wreck, I was depressed as hell.”

Several snarky and uncharacteristic comments pop into mind. I ignore them and flop down on my bed. It is a failing attempt to cover up the tears that are welling up. I don't want to cry. Not again. Not anymore. I want to be happy and do whatever the hell I want, with who I want. I want to be with Clark until I decide that I need to move on.

"You are just failing to realize that I've lost my mind." I mumble.

"No, I've noticed. I am just trying to reason with the small part of your mind that must still be in there somewhere."

He sighs and sits on the bed next to me. I peek up at him. He is staring off into space. Unexpectedly, he lies down next to me and pulls me into his arms. I don’t know why, but this makes the tears I’ve been fighting come. He holds me, in my bed, until I’m all cried out. We lay like this for awhile. I don’t even know how long. I’ve lost track of time in this insanity. He kisses me on the cheek and wipes away a stray tear or two. A sweet best friend, that I don't deserve.

Sometimes, like right now, I wish he wasn’t gay. I could be in love with Noah. I wonder if we would’ve been happy if things had worked out differently. I suppose, however, there is no use in daydreaming on it. I wouldn’t change him for the world. Just being here with him is good enough.

Nothing has changed, however. I am still going to go through with my plan. I consider this to be the sexual equivalent of cutting myself. I know it is harmful, but I don’t know any other way to express the emotions and non-emotions I feel. I don’t know how else to communicate with that part of me.

Though a part of me doesn't want him to leave, I urge Noah to go home. That I'll be fine. I'm going to take a hot bath and then relax for the rest of the afternoon. Maybe watch a sappy movie. He asks if he should come back after my bath and watch it with me. I tell him not to worry about it. He has work tomorrow like I do.

"Are you sure?" He asks.

"I'm sure. I'll be fine." I force a smile. Right this moment I just want to be alone. Maybe listen to those break-up songs. Take a nice long bubble bath in my big claw foot bath tub. Plan my next move maybe? I kiss Noah’s cheek and close the door behind him.

As the water warms, I get the CD I was listening to when I left my mother’s house on homecoming night. Clark will need a song. Which song shall I re-create? To be honest, I hadn’t actually thought about re-creating the scenarios in break-up songs so much as just having something to kind of relate to. I won’t tell Noah that he actually gave me an idea. A little bit worse of an idea too. I think he already feels guilty enough without me adding to it.

I sink into the hot, soapy, water and turn the music on. The first song is Alanis. Her scathing lyrics fill my bathroom with rage. That song belongs squarely on David's shoulders. No other song fits so perfectly. If only I could stay angry. When I see him all of the old feelings flood up to the surface.

I want as sweet a break-up with Clark as possible. No broken hearts, no tears. Just a soft parting of ways. Just a softly spoken goodbye. Are those kinds of break-ups possible? Is it possible to be friends with former lovers? I've been so naive and sheltered when it comes to relationships. I should've left David years ago.

Thinking of Clark makes me feel all fuzzy and warm inside. I feel a little drunk, except I haven't been drinking. Maybe I should actually try with him. Maybe we could be happy? Or maybe we wouldn't be.

Its moments like this that I wish I was a poet or a writer in general. I'd have so much material to work with. I'd be up to my eyeballs in sappy, heart-ache crap. Enough to write a novel, a book of short stories and a book of poetry. Okay, that might be a bit of an exaggeration, but I could write a lot.

I've been so deep in thought my water has gone cold and my CD is skipping. I shiver as I drain the tub and stop the CD. I wrap a big, fluffy, towel around myself and pad my way into the bedroom. Snuggles is sprawled on my bed, napping. I rub his head as I walk to my vanity.

I notice some dark circles under my eyes. I wish I could sleep like I did in Clark's arms every time. I've never felt so secure. Not even with David. Whom I've decided to refer to as jerk-who-shall-go-un-named.

I suppose its time to tally the toll all this has taken. I've lost fifteen pounds from not eating. I've lost the will to look beautiful. I don't sleep. And when I do it is the worst sleep ever. My honey-gold hair looks lackluster and my cocoa colored eyes have lost their shine. I've become a slut. All because of one measly ten year relationship. One stupid jerk-who-shall-go-un-named. What an asshole.

Its only four o'clock and I want to give up for the day. I am just about to go take a nap when my phone rings. The caller ID lists a number I don't recognize. I don't think I'll answer it. I don't know if I want to answer. I debate, internally of course, for a moment.

"Hello?" I say.

"I know the rule is three days," says a sexy voice similar to that of Sam Eliot. "but I couldn't stand to wait. Do you want to go get dinner tonight?"

"Clark? Didn't we just have breakfast?" I giggle.

"I know, I know. But won't you be hungry again in two hours or so?" He sounds so sweet. I really do want to go out with him tonight. If only to feel like I'm not completely alone. Maybe we could have a repeat of last night (without the crying) and I can get some well-deserved rest.

"Sure," I say. "why not? Where do you want to meet?"

We decide on an Albanian restaurant downtown. I say I'll meet him at seven. He lingers on the line for a moment before hanging up. Sounds like he likes me too.

I know what song I want to remember Clark by. After all we've been through, I know we're cool.

It hasn't been very long, but already I'm thinking of breaking up with him. We aren't even officially dating yet and I'm thinking of ending this fledgling relationship. Common sense says to give it a couple months and then bail, but my heart is terrified I'll fall in love with him.

I'll give it a couple months. I can't bail now, that defeats the point of break up songs and random relationships with random people. This isn't what I wanted. This isn't what I want. I'm too deep to get out now, though.

Take a deep breath. Close your eyes. Here's to the plunge.

Albania Week (Day Four)

Let's look at some fashion from Albania, shall we? That sounds like fun!

This particular piece was designed by an Albanian designer called Mimi in 2008 for the Albanian fashion week.


This piece is also from 2008. It is by a designer named Rezarta Skifteri.


This one is by Geraldina Sposa from last year.


He popped up on my picture search and I realized he had some gorgeous eyes and was pretty damn smexy... therefore, he is here specifically because he is hot. That is all.


This particular piece was designed specifically for pregnant women (and the men that can't get enough of pregnant bellies) by Merita Tocila two years ago.


And I know absolutely nothing about this particular dress other than it was published in an article on Daily Times Pakistan!

The Albanian Song of the Day!

As part of Albania Week (also known as Sarai's Country of the Week) I am posting a song from Albania. For your viewing pleasure, here is a song from Albania performed for the Eurovision Song Contest in 2009 by Juliana Pasha. In Albanian it is called "Nuk mundem pa ty", in English it is "It's All About You."



I really like this video, its got a very strange and dark atmosphere. But it is definitely interesting, at least to me.

Albania Week (Day Two)

Today I have decided to present some interesting facts about Albania for, what I have now dubbed, Albania Week!

Some fun facts about Albania include:
* Due to some "difficult historical conditions" Albania was a little late in the literature game. The first book published in Albania was written by a priest called Gjon Buzuku in 1555. It was titled "Meshari" and was, apparently, written in Latin.

* Albania is the home of the historic city (and archaeological center) of Durres, which dates back to the 7th century BC. Along with Mbjeshovë Castle, which was built somewhere between the 4 and 5th century AD.

* Kristaq Antoniu was an Albanian Operetta singer, as well as actor. He was born in Korca, though for some unexplained reason was exiled to Romania. He was a tenor as well as a baritone.

In the Heart of the Mediterranean

Just for shiggles (also known as shits and giggles), I've decided to blog about a special country, carefully chosen, for this week.

This week's country is Albania. That's right kids, Albania! This week's country was specially chosen by Phil. Thank you, Phil.

Albania, as it's official website claims, is in the heart of the Mediterranean. It is considered a part of the European continent and is actually rich with history and beauty. More so than you would think. Poor Albania is one of those forgotten countries, a lot of the time.

And to start off Albania Week, I have decided to present some delicious recipes. Apparently, Albania has a thing for meat dishes, because the very first page of recipes I looked at were all meat related. I did manage to find a recipe for a Spinach Pie and a Walnut Cake. For my culturally involved audience, I present this interesting recipe for Spinach Pie first.

Spinach Pie (Byrek me Spinaq)
1 cup oil, preferably olive oil
1 1/2 packets (or about 30) pastry leaves (Filo dough)
1 1/2 pounds spinach, chopped
1 cup diced feta cheese
1/2 cup chopped green onions
2 eggs
salt, half teaspoon

( NOTE: A medium-sized, round baking pan is recommended because it's more authentic but any medium-sized baking pan will do).

Brush the baking pan with some of the oil, and start laying the pastry leaves inside. First, lay two leaves, sprinkle or brush with oil, then lay two other leaves, and repeat the procedure until half of the leaves are laid. Make sure that they cover the pan by hanging them about one inch over the edges of the pan.

Sprinkle spinach with salt, then mix well by hand. Add the feta cheese, oil, onions, eggs and salt, and spread this mixture over the already laid pastry leaves. Finish by covering the spinach with the rest of the pastry leaves repeating the first-half procedure and then roll the hanging edges of the bottom leaves over the pie (think of a pizza crust), sprinkle top with oil and bake moderately at 3501_F for about 45 minutes, or until golden brown. Serve hot, accompanied with buttermilk, or beaten yogurt, thinned down in cold water or with chilled stewed prunes. Sometimes a green salad adds to the meal!
Serves 4-6.

Walnut Cake
Ingredients
Cake
1/2 cup butter, at room temperature
3/4 cup Sugar
2 eggs, lightly beaten
1/3 cup plain yogurt
1/3 cup buttermilk (or additional 1/3 cup yogurt)
2 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1 tablespoon freshly grated lemon rind
1 cup walnuts, toasted and finely chopped
Glaze
3/4 cup water
1 cup Sugar
1 cinnamon stick (or 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon)
1/4 cup fresh lemon juice
1/4 teaspoon ground allspice
1 dash ground cloves

Directions
Preheat oven to 350 °F.
cream together the butter and Sugar until light and fluffy, and then mix in the eggs.
Blend the yogurt with the buttermilk.
Sift together the cake dry ingredients and add them alternating with the yogurt mixture into the egg mixture.
Stir in the lemon rind and walnuts.
Pour the batter into a buttered 9X13 baking pan and bake for 30–40 minutes until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. The cake will still be moist.
Make the glaze by simmering together all the ingredients, covered, for about 15 minutes.
Remove the cinnamon stick.
When the cake is done, remove it from the oven, turn off the oven, pour the glaze over the hot cake and return it to the oven for about 10 minutes.
Cut the cake into squares and serve it warm or cool.

Throughout this week expect to see blogs about Albanian fashion, fun facts, music and other interesting (and slightly random) things!