Sunday, July 17, 2011

What Sarah Said

Perhaps it is because I am morbid, perhaps it is because I have been unable to do this, perhaps it is because it is the truth. For whatever reason, I love this song by Death Cab for Cutie, though, in general I am not the biggest fan of theirs.

I agree with the sentiment that "Love is watching someone die." Don't we all watch those we love die? Little by little and day by day? We are all rotting inside of this all too fragile humanity that houses us. The only truest form of love is watching this and continuing to go on when the inevitable arrives. Yes?

Sometimes, when I listen to this song, I think about a few years ago. Before my mother's divorce, before Donnie, before my entire family fell apart. I think about an uncle I had. My uncle by marriage, but a man I had enjoyed spending time with when I saw him. He was in the hospital for the last time. His wife and his daughter were unable to get to the hospital that night and had called my mother to see if she would sit with him in his last hours.

I believed it would be interesting to experience death happening, rather than just seeing its aftermath. Morbid curiousity, I suppose. I went along, on the pretext that my mother not be alone. I don't remember how long we sat with him. When my ex-step-father showed up for a little bit, he offered to take me home. It was late. I remember thinking, "I'm not brave enough to watch someone die." I couldn't stand to stay, even though I wanted to. I knew then, that it would be a regret I carried for the rest of my life, but I could not stay to watch him transform from a human being with a soul to a corpse waiting for a coffin.

I think of this while I listen to this song and I wonder if, because I couldn't stay and I couldn't watch, he (wherever he may be) thinks that I didn't love him because I couldn't stay. If love is truly watching someone die, I have failed. I failed him in that way. Don't we always fail those we love, in the end anyway?

For those of you who are curious, "il m'aime" means "He loves me."

Saturday, July 16, 2011

The Randomness

My Questions are as follows (along with my answers):
1. Where do you stand on the proverbial political fence?
Somewhere to the East?

2. What kinds of drinks do you like when you are hot and sweaty?
Anything soda-y.

3. If purple were a number what would it be?
2,382.

4. Your karma ran over my dogma, response?
There goes my good karma...

5. If a yellow train is traveling at twenty-five miles per hour on a blue track what color is the engineer's underwear?
He isn't wearing any.

6. Who invented Swiss Cheese?
The emperor of Japan.

7. If you could do anything in the world, without the limits of time, money, etc. what would it be?
Read every book on my list, lose weight, become that famous movie star I wanted to be and kiss the hell out of Gackt and Wentworth Miller!

8. Roses are white, violets are?
Burgundy.

9. What is your favorite book?
Exquisite Corpse by Poppy Z. Brite

10. If you could live to be 101 1/2 what would you like to say on your death bed?
Damn, I am old!

It seems to me that the most common answer for #5 was green. I'm not quite sure how people came up with Green, but they did. *shrug*

Donnie's Answers
1. I can't stand on a proverb.

2. Semen in a can.

3. Purple.

4. Bitch had it comin'?

5. Yes.

6. Sir Swiss.

7. Um, fondle every pair of breasts on earth.

8. Probably violet.

9. No H's Picture Book of Wood.

10. I told you I was sick.

Fawn's Answers
1. On top of Trent on top of the pole. (Trent: We call it the pole position!)

2. Donnie's Semen in a can. (Fawn: Chai, dammit, Chai!)

3. Sexy. (Sarai: You know, you people don't understand the concept of numbers. Just sayin'.)

4. (Trent barks) Yeah, what he said.

5. Its the color Kurosawa. (Trent: Brown. From SHIT!)

6. Jesus invented it. (Sarai: Jesus invented Swiss Cheese?)

7. I'd grow three new arms and three new legs to go with the two I've got. (Trent: Because if you had three more of each you might have two that worked?)

8. Sex deprived? (No comment)

9. That book by Christian Humber... (Donnie: Oh yeah, I should've said "Christian Humber Reloaded"!)

10. Damn, my diaper is full. (Sarai: Oh my...)

Trent's answers
1) On a post, because the fence is too narrow.

2) The kind of drink that quenches thirst. (Sarai: Smart ass...)

3) Orange

4) It was in the road and needed killin'.

5) Vodka

6) The Pope

7) Give every woman huge boobs. Think Aegis.

8) Still Blue.

9) The Twilight Saga with a twist of lemony goodness.

10) Huge boobies were a great idea.

Envy's answers
1. Can I break down the fence instead? That sounds more fun.
2. Sodas. Or just something sweet and tastes marvelous.
3. Uhm... 5?
4. The dogma deserved it. Get outta my street.
5. Red, of course. Rail Tracer, anyone?
6. I don't know, but they rock.
7. Jack a plane, go to Germany, and attend a rave under the stars with my best friend.
8. Overrated. Get other flowers instead.
9. Brave Story, by Miyuki Miyabe. Best Japanese-to-English novel ever.
10. "Famous last words? No, thank you. Let me die in silence."

Phil's answers
1. Definetely lean left
2. A coke is nice, maybe some water, Iced Tea?
3. 140
4. I got you my pretty and your damned dogma too!! (Thank you Wizard of Oz!)
5. Chartreuse
6. The Swiss (duh)
7. Head Meterologist at the National Hurricane Center
8. Cerulean
9. The Westing Game by Ellen Raskin
10. Why did you little bastards let me live this long!!!

LED's answers
1. I am solidly so far left I am almost right. Woo circular fence!

2. Water. PERIOD.

3. Purple would be the number 5.

4. Then that means I will be reincarnated as a rich politically awesome man in my next life.

5. Green.

6. Not the Swiss. T'was the French.

7. Travel around the world in twenty times in forty years. Oh and fly to the Moon and Io.

8. Purple. And yellow. Duh.

9. Wicked was pretty good. But when it comes to adolescent-geared violence and necromancy, it's got to be Sabriel by Garth Nix. Oh and my favorite mindless fighting/D&D/fantasy book series is the Legacy of Drizzt.

10. I wish I had not lived to this age. I am alone and now I die alone. May those after me die with less regrets and may they live in an age when they did not have to watch the world die.

Callibre's Answers
1. Who stands on a fence?
2. Hmmm ice water
3. it would equal the sum of red and blue
4. The stigma was driving (I like that answer best!)
5. lime green
6. weight concious mice
7. Travel to every single country and meet the amazing people I know :P
8. not right
9. The Sea of Silverlight
10. I knew I should have had better answers when answering 10 questions on DA.

Pomegranate's answers
1. I don't think I can stand on fence very well. Hello, I loose balance just by walking!! So why would I stand on fence regardless if you say it is proverbial!! ♥♥ (Love you momma)
2. I like water.
3. Most likely a negative number I mean come on, purple has a sad life, their is no purple Power Ranger but their was a purple teletubie!! Seriously!! The color has a sad life!!
4. Tough shit~ ♥♥
5. Pink. No reason, I just love Pink!!
6. Most likely someone Holy.
7. See what I could do~ Cause I has no idea, I use to think I knew what I would do but now the more I think about it the less I know what I would do with all the limits of time and money.
8. PURPLE yet again the color has a sad life.
9. To Kill A Mockingbird!! ♥♥ Best book ever!!
10. Most likely something to the fact that I still outlived some bitches~ ♥♥

Amber's answers
1. I will be honest, I have no clue what proverbial political fence means.... but I am a conservative if that is what you are asking. lol
2. water
3. purple would be number 3
4. sorry
5. green
6. some guy in Italy?
7. I would live the rest of my life in the mountains surrounded by trees and wildlife
8. black
9.Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry
10. thank you and goodnite

Hellas' answers
1. My balance isn’t that good, I prefer to move around.
2. Coffee does it for me every time.
3. 1
4. My karma is a bitch and thinks you should keep your dogma on a leash
5. Green…of course
6. The same people hat invented the Swiss?
7. Pleasure every small breasted redhead and brunette I saw :P…hey you asked for it.
8. Not always blue
9. The Decameron by Giovanni Boccaccio
10. I’m not quite dead yet, honestly I feel fine…no I don’t want to go on the dead wagon

Judes' answers
1. Where do you stand on the proverbial political fence?
-I don't stand ANYWHERE near it!!!

2. What kinds of drinks do you like when you are hot and sweaty?
-Ice cold water with a squeeze of lemon or lime.

3. If purple were a number what would it be?
-It's number would be 7, for the order it appears in the rainbow.

4. Your karma ran over my dogma, response?
-Sorry darling, lemme make it up to you.

5. If a yellow train is traveling at twenty-five miles per hour on a blue track what color is the engineer's underwear?
-Well, if the Engineer is as close to his train as he should be, then his man panties should be GREEN, because yellow and blue make green, and trains and and speed make time.

6. Who invented Swiss Cheese?
-Some really awesome Swiss guy. I'm gonna go with Leif Holestag.

7. If you could do anything in the world, without the limits of time, money, etc. what would it be?
-Make sweet love endlessly until I ceased to breathe.

8. Roses are white, violets are?
-Blue. They're always blue, in fact, I don't have any idea as to why they call them 'VIOLETS' when clearly, they're NOT violet in shade!

9. What is your favorite book?
-Okay, if you couldn't think about this a second, and had to ask me this, then you clearly do NOT know me! ;) (Sarai: It's Gone with the Wind, ladies and gents)

10. If you could live to be 101 1/2 what would you like to say on your death bed?
-"What the hell am I doing on my death-bed?! I've got another 101½ years to live!!!"

Eric's answers
1. No comment.

2. Gatorade.

3. 29

4. Why was it in my karma's way in the first place?

5. Depends- green seems to be obvious, but I'd say red to keep a primary colors trend going here.

6. The Swiss.

7. Go to L.A. and win an Oscar.

8. Technically, they're blue.

9. The Catcher in the Rye.

10. It's been fun.

Terri's answers
1. A democrat who knows how to think for herself and questions stupid things that politiians say, like anything Michelle Bachman and Fairly Failin' says (note: had to put it that way due to copyright she has on her stupid name!). (Sarai: How can she have a copyright on her name?! How do you do that?)

2. Sweet tea with Lemon, or a cold coke..

3. 2

4. I would be devastated...crying and so sorry...

5. He's wearing underwear?

6. The Swiss Guard

7. Peace and Quiet and time with my husband

8. Purple, don't know why they say blue...they are NOT blue, they are purple, it is so confusing, I can't stand it.

9.The one I am reading right now, at any given time...

10. it was a good run...sorry it had to end so soon...

Jennifer's answers
‎1. I jump off of it. And generally ignore the silly thing all together.
2. Ice cold water. Maybe one of those mountain flavored Powerades.
3. 8
4. ॐ
5. Infinity.
6. God.
7. Everything. The answer would be too broad I think.
8. Fuzzy.
9. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak.
10. I. Am. A. Badass.

Willie's answers
1. neither, 'cause the poltitcal game is shit
2. Mt dew
3. #1 cause it is that
4. I'm better cause I'm awesome
5. green
6. its not the swiss
7. just be me
8. black
9. The calling of Cthulu
10. respawn in 10....9....8...7...

So the Darkness I became

Today's song is "Cosmic Love" by Florence + the Machine. This song is so romantic and beautifully done. Florence Welch's voice truly brings this song to life. At turns sweet and at others lonesome.

My favorite part of the song is the chorus. Florence sings "The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out. You've left me in the dark. No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight. In the shadow of your heart."

This is definitely on the playlist for my wedding!

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Oh, the Crazy Things We will Say!

Donnie: Damn Vampires.
Me: Yeah, always trying to take my Count Chocula Cereal.

Kid: I don't think Strawberry Shortcake would appreciate that they are selling her. Especially for 50 cents off.
Me: That's how toe (an affected version of tore) up she is.

L.E.D. (In movie voice over voice) Bruce Storm...
Me: (In same movie voice over voice) Real Estate Agent. Awh Yeah!

Quote of the day (over heard whilst handing out fruit during my second job as a sample lady): Did you get her pie?!

Kid: I need windshield wiper fluid, not new windshield wipers.
Me: (straight faced) I know, but look, it says Windshield wipers and refills!
Kid: I'm going to punch you in the face.
Me: *giggle*

Me: Why did a Madonna mood have to hit at 1 in the morning?!

Donnie: I had sex with every melon on the stand.
Jamal: They're not even robots!

Me: But I put on my brave face and strap on my big girl shoes and suck it up. (You know, this could be taken for something completely wrong.)

Mom: I blame you that the Safety Dance kept me awake last night!!!
Me: You know that you love it and you KNOW that you are thankful that I showed that awesome video to you.

Me: Apparently it is "Sarai is trying to blog let's all start talking to her at once" time. I thought it was only 11:43.

Me: Kyle. I'm drunk texting you. Lol
Kyle: I love you.

Me: I'm thinking I'm now in love with fresh mozzarella.

Donnie: (Very Seriously) Bacon.

Me: I wish you would listen to me when I'm whispering so that I didn't spend half of my time shouting.

Zach: God, you're such a tease!

Me: I even love you times Gackt!

Donnie: It could be worse; you could be black.
Jamal (My roomie, who so happens to be Black): He's right. It could be worse. You could be black!

Donnie: Hey Jamal,
Jamal: Yes, Donnie, I know I'm black.
Donnie: You fucking racist! That's not what I was going to say at all!

Commander and Chief

Back in May I purchased some Parisian themed note cards which I sent to random people, for random reasons. One of those cards went to the President of the United States. I had no hopes for a response, I mean, it's the President! He is probably not even going to read my note. It probably will get tossed in the trash anyway, because it has glitter and a picture of the Eiffel Tower on it. After they test the glitter to make sure it is safe to dispose of it, of course.

Donnie and I are preparing for bed. It is 11:53pm and I have to be up early to work my second job. We have just turned out the lights when mon frere (my brother), Chris, knocks on the door.

"Come in," I say.

"So, when did you start corresponding with the White House?" says Chris.

I am thinking that Chris is playing some kind of joke and I am really tired.

"What are you talking about?" I ask.

"You have an official letter from the White House." He replies.

I sit up and tell him to turn on the light. As soon as the light is on he hands me the envelope and I see the words "The White House Washington, DC 20500" on the envelope, along with my name and address. I am addressed as "Ms."

I quickly open the envelope and read the following letter:

"Dear Sarai,

"Thank you for your kind note. Your thoughtful words join a chorus of millions of Americans who are eager to lead our Nation towards a brighter tomorrow.

"Each day, I am inspired by the encouraging messages of hope and determination I have received from people across the country. With the magnitude of challenges we face, we will only overcome them if our imagination is joined to common purpose.

"The future we leave to our children and grandchildren will be determined by our willingness to shoulder each other's burdens, take great risks, and move forward as one people and one Nation. With your help, we will build on what we have already achieved and lay a new foundation for real and lasting progress.

"Sincerely,
"Barack Obama"

I almost died! I received a letter back from Barack Obama, President of the United States! The only thing that could've been better would have been a phone call or meeting him in person, but I will settle for a letter!

Now, I just feel like I'm dreaming it all, except that I still have this white envelope addressed from the White House, with a watermarked sheet of paper with my name and the President's signature. I'm thinking I need to find a cool picture frame for this pronto!