This is my attempt to not bring everyone down with me.
So I'll make this short and sweet. Or as sweet as possible.
Even though Christmas is one of the worst depictions of Christian hypocrisy and I've long given up on it, today was better than most and for that I'm grateful.
I have many things to be grateful for, though sometimes its hard to remember that.
Two years ago, I was trapped in the hotel for Christmas. A half hour away from my family, away from home. My lower half mangled from that horrific car accident. My wonderful grandmother-in-law, who has stood by my side from the beginning, helped me out for Christmas Eve. She and Donnie helped me, in my wheel chair to her house, only for a couple hours. But it was so worth all the pain and discomfort.
I suppose, when she asked me what the best Christmas present I ever received was, I should've said that moment. When I thought I was going to have to miss Christmas too. When I had already been stuck there since Halloween (and before that two weeks in the hospital). When I was already beginning to lose faith that I would ever get to walk again or go home.
I can walk now. I can drive. I have a job, that I sometimes hate. I even had two jobs. I have recovered farther than anyone thought I would.
And yes, I can't have children because my pelvis won't support a pregnancy.
And yes, I still have nightmares.
And yes, I've never been back to that cemetery.
And yes, I'm being sued by the guy that hit me.
But, I can walk. I can drive. I am still alive. And even when I begin to doubt that I would want to be, I am happy to be alive.
So, this Christmas, if you are feeling down for what reason or another think of this:
You can walk, you are alive. You have a roof, a bed, the internet (or you wouldn't be reading this), food to eat, etc.
You have things to be happy about, even when you think you don't.
This coming from someone who is always down this time of year. This coming from someone who detests the holidays for the memories they bring.
I am thankful.
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