Quote Me

Donnie: You know what's nice?
Me: What?
Donnie: Lesbians. Lesbians are nice.
Me: Thanks for that.

Me: You're not allowed to die. Because if you do, who will I have sex with?
Pomme: Oh my god!
Donnie: Fawn.
Pomme: AHHH!!!
Donnie: Problem Solved.

Pomme: Ya know I would question Sarai more, but then I look at who she is married to and all my questions disappear.

Derrick J: To paraphrase Scotty, "I'm givin' it all I've got, world, not to punch ye in the face! If ye push my engines any further they'll tell ye to blow me!"

Me: You know it is Halloween when you turn on your car and the radio is playing "Ghostbusters".

Me: Don't be a cunt muffin!!

Donnie: Waffle cones are superior to cake cones. Discuss.

Me: I swear to god, I will flick you in the tit.
Pomme: Umma! Not only is that child abuse, its awkward!
Donnie: That's the point. If its awkward enough they won't report the child abuse to the police.
Pomme: That's fucked up.

Me: My Swedish Meatballs box says to stir the macaroni and cheese. Except, its Swedish Meatballs... Where did the mac and cheese come from?

Me: You know what really makes the "White and Nerdy" music video by Weird Al? Donny Osmond dancing like an idiot in the background. That part just never gets old.

Me: Of all the gin joints in all the world, she had to karaoke in mine.

Joe T: Oh, c'mon! You can't fool me! You gay park your car all of the time! (Are your pants on fire, yet?) :-)
Jaime N: Did u at least lezbo park it? lol

Pomme: So Sarai and Donnie had their troll flakes this morning!! DID YOU?

Donnie: My name is Pajamy and I LOVE nightwear!
Adam C.: Pajamy, meet Teddy :-)

Uncle Jerry: Hay, you forgot to tell me it was your birthday. Great Uncles don't know about these things 'caus we don't have birthdays anymore. HAVE A HAPPY ONE!!!!!!

Kid: HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU CRAZY ASS LEPRECHAUN.

Me: Also, Donnie needs to stop breathing leaves... just sayin'.

Mom: They are liquidating their cattle.
Me: Ew! No one wants liquid cattle!