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I dislike Taylor Swift. Intensely, in point of fact. I despise her music, I don't really like her as a person (though, admittedly she is pretty) and I was one of the few people cheering when Kanye was a dick to her. I could just spout off a bunch of stuff about her, but why not dissect one of her songs? That sounds like fun!

Note: You do NOT have to subject yourself to the following video. You can, instead, read the lyrics that I will provide below the video. If you want to hear the song for yourself do not blame me when your ears start bleeding. You have been warned.

First up, let's look at "Our Song". This song plays quite often at work. Every day in fact. It drives me CRAZY. Partially because I have a bad habit of singing along with songs that I know. I don't even realize I'm doing it half the time and it is annoying as hell!



Lyrics (As provided by AZlyrics.com)
I was riding shotgun
with my hair undone
in the front seat of his car
He's got a one-hand feel
on the steering wheel
The other on my heart
I look around, turn the radio down
He says, "Baby is something wrong?"
I say, "Nothing,
I was just thinking
how we don't have a song"
And he says...

[Chorus:]
Our song is the slamming screen doors,
Sneakin' out late, tapping on your window
When we're on the phone and you talk real slow
'cause it's late and your mama don't know
Our song is the way you laugh
The first date "Man, I didn't kiss her, and I should have"
And when I got home ... before I said amen
Asking God if he could play it again

I was walking up the front porch steps after everything that day
Had gone all wrong
and been trampled on
And lost and thrown away
Got to the hallway,
well on my way
to my lovin' bed
I almost didn't notice
all the roses
And the note that said...

[Chorus]

I've heard every album, listened to the radio
Waited for something to come along
That was as good as our song...

[Chorus:]
'Cause our song is the slamming screen door,
Sneakin' out late, tapping on his window
When we're on the phone and he talks real slow
'cause it's late and his mama don't know
Our song is the way he laughs
The first date "Man, I didn't kiss him, and I should have."
And when I got home ... before I said amen
Asking God if he could play it again

I was riding shotgun with my hair undone
In the front seat of his car
I grabbed a pen and an old napkin
And I wrote down our song

My first problem with this song is the video. I just watched it. Not a single boy. The only guys in this video are playing back up instrumental. I pictured something semi-romantic, being a romantic at heart. A cute guy, actually following along with the lyrics of the song in some shape or form. Nope. It starts off with a shot of Taylor's toenails drying and her talking on the phone. The rest is just a montage to how pretty she is. Seriously?

My second problem is this: Slamming screen doors, tapping on windows in the middle of the night, laughter and thought bubbles on how you should've kissed on the first date do not constitute as a song.

A song is defined as "a short metrical composition intended or adapted for singing, especially one in rhymed stanzas;". How do you adapt slamming screen doors for singing? I could see it as a rhythmic slamming for background music, but it isn't really a song. All of those things aren't a "song". They are just sounds that are associated with their feelings for one another. And a thought doesn't count as a sound.

Thirdly, if they are both living with their parents (as suggested by "When we're on the phone and you talk real slow, 'cause it's late and your mama don't know"), how did he get into her house to put roses everywhere and a note? Its kind of suggested from the song (as well as the music video) that there are rose petals everywhere:
"Got to the hallway,
well on my way
to my lovin' bed
I almost didn't notice
all the roses"

What parent allows their teenage daughter's boyfriend to sprinkle rose petals everywhere? That is a very romantic gesture, one that is usually followed up (in the movies) with copious amounts of sex. Not only that, so many flower petals would be a hell of a mess to clean up. They get mooshed and smashed into the carpet, or cause a tripping hazard.

Also, how did she "almost" not notice a crap ton of roses? Seriously? I don't care how bad your day has been. You are going to smell all those flowers before you see them, or you should. Not to mention that you should see them, they're kind of obvious. I mean, they are really colorful! You'd think they would be noticeable! Apparently not. I wonder how many times she completely missed the romantic things her boyfriend did for her, because she doesn't pay attention.

If her parents didn't sanction this, slightly, suggestive romantic gesture that means he broke into her house! Which (as I mentioned in my Twilight blog) is NOT romantic. That is illegal. And creepy. VERY CREEPY.

Finally, my biggest problem with this song:
"I've heard every album, listened to the radio
Waited for something to come along
That was as good as our song..."

There are literally millions of albums from thousands of genres from the four different corners of the known world and she just said she heard them ALL.

Japanese Techno, she heard it.
German Country, she heard it.
Swahili Opera, she heard it.
Irish Pop, she heard it.

Not only that, but she apparently listens to the radio. And somehow she heard all of this, not only from the various albums she has randomly lying about (apparently), but she heard some of it on the radio. I don't know about radio in her part of the world, but mine repeats the same songs over and over. You are bound to hear the same song at least twice in a 4 hour period. Sometimes more than that. Plus, you have all the commercial breaks and DJ's talking, so you aren't actually getting to hear music for most of that time.

Anywho, there is my blog on my least favorite song by Taylor Swift. I feel better.