I've had several friends tell me that my being in a relationship/being married is an "accomplishment."
Here are a couple reasons I have a problem with that statement.
1. Being in a relationship is NOT all there is in life. It should probably be noted that the majority of people who say this to me are single. Its not that big of an accomplishment to get married unless you have never been able to be married before (i.e. Gay marriage, interracial marriage, etc.), in that case its a big freakin' deal. But the fact that any Tom, Dick and Harry can get married does not inspire my belief in your statement.
2. When you say that my marriage is an "accomplishment" it almost cheapens it. Its like I got an achievement on my X-Box or something, its not a real thing. Its just something that looks good on a resume. Especially since anyone can do it. Any idiot can get married (except people who love the same gender, as previously stated). And most of those idiots end up getting divorces too.
3. Marriage is hard work. It is a continuing process. An accomplishment implies that it was finished. Marriage is never really finished (unless you die or get divorced). It keeps going. You have to keep working at it. Hard. Did I mention that marriage is hard work? You know why? Because you have to give 100% on both sides for it to work. It's not that 50/50 bullshit you read about. No. When you get married you commit your whole person to another person. You don't just give them sections of you. You are committing to give them your everything.
4. When I think of accomplishments I think of things like: Going to college, getting a degree, getting a job in your field, following your dreams, seeing places you've never seen (and no, I don't mean the men's restroom in Arby's. Everyone's seen that), etc.
Maybe its just me, but I'm not entirely sure about this love affair we have with getting married. I mean, the tax break is good, but that's about the only thing that changes. I will grant that the sex is better too... But other than that, not a whole lot changes when you get married.
Here are a couple reasons I have a problem with that statement.
1. Being in a relationship is NOT all there is in life. It should probably be noted that the majority of people who say this to me are single. Its not that big of an accomplishment to get married unless you have never been able to be married before (i.e. Gay marriage, interracial marriage, etc.), in that case its a big freakin' deal. But the fact that any Tom, Dick and Harry can get married does not inspire my belief in your statement.
2. When you say that my marriage is an "accomplishment" it almost cheapens it. Its like I got an achievement on my X-Box or something, its not a real thing. Its just something that looks good on a resume. Especially since anyone can do it. Any idiot can get married (except people who love the same gender, as previously stated). And most of those idiots end up getting divorces too.
3. Marriage is hard work. It is a continuing process. An accomplishment implies that it was finished. Marriage is never really finished (unless you die or get divorced). It keeps going. You have to keep working at it. Hard. Did I mention that marriage is hard work? You know why? Because you have to give 100% on both sides for it to work. It's not that 50/50 bullshit you read about. No. When you get married you commit your whole person to another person. You don't just give them sections of you. You are committing to give them your everything.
4. When I think of accomplishments I think of things like: Going to college, getting a degree, getting a job in your field, following your dreams, seeing places you've never seen (and no, I don't mean the men's restroom in Arby's. Everyone's seen that), etc.
Maybe its just me, but I'm not entirely sure about this love affair we have with getting married. I mean, the tax break is good, but that's about the only thing that changes. I will grant that the sex is better too... But other than that, not a whole lot changes when you get married.
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